QB912 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I have been with this guy for five years, almost six. Since we were both 15. We had a good relationship, or so I thought. He always promised me that we would get married and we had all of these things planned for the future. But now I'm beginning to wonder if he meant any of that now that he has recently changed his mind of me. We were also each other's first for everything. I know we are young, but I thought that he was the one. I thought this was the guy I would spend the rest of my life with. It hurts so bad still. Everyone tells me that I can do so much better and that he didn't deserve me, but he's the one who's fine with the breakup. I don't ask his friends, but people tell me he's doing fine. I know he was stressed by me, college work, and his job, but I don't think ending things with me will fix anything in the long run... We've been broken up for a month. No contact. I am devastated. He was my best friend and lover. He ended things saying that he wasn't happy and that he didn't love me anymore after he had just begun talking about saving for a ring. He's cheated on me before by kissing another girl when he was drunk. He also tried to text other girls when he was drunk. He also put other things above me when I wanted attention, but I forgave him because I loved him that much. I took care of him and did anything that he needed. He is more immature than I am, but he had talked about our future too until the few days before we broke up. I actually tried leaving him around two months ago because he drunk texted a girl to want to sleep with her. I was leaving him and then he begged me back, saying he could never do better than me. And then he turns around and does this to me. I also just heard last night that he's been texting another girl. And it hurts so bad because guys are the last thing on my mind right now. Dating someone else is the last thing on my mind. What am I supposed to do? This guy meant the world to me and I was ready for forever with him. I'm broken and he seems to be okay. I'm lost and lonely and I don't understand why he ended things. Yes, we had a stressful relationship, but everything had always managed to be worked out before this last time. I know he was unhappy and so was I. But he's all I've known for almost six years. People tell me that I deserve so much better and that he will never do better than me-that I was the girl he should have held on to-but his maturity level right now just leads him to want to flirt, drink, and play video games. It breaks my heart because I tried to be the best girlfriend for him. And if people tell me he didn't deserve me, then why wasn't I enough?
Ifeelok Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 Im sorry that you are hurting right now, coming from a guy that was dumped after 5 years and started dating when i was 21 and she was 20 i know much it hurts to see the person you love the most leave. When they promise you the future, you try your hardest, you give them everything and just like that they leave. My advice is I know as much as you are hurting try and keep a smile on, dont let it get to you, its hard but its possible. Also if you have Social Media or any old pictures do not look at them its only going to make you feel worse. im almost 5 months post break up, and it still hurts like hell specially when she started dating a co worker of hers 1 month after she dumped me. Just hold on you will get there and hopefully one day the realize what they lost.
Dylon Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 So sorry for your hurt. I had a girlfriend at 16 and it went for 6 years. You know that at this age, it's not going to last till marriage, changes in high school, colleges, careers and just too many things to juggle. She said similar things when I ended with her in college, that she thought we would get marry, ect. Sure I did too and there were no lies during the relationships, just things changed. You are quite a stable girlfriend and the next guy will be very lucky to have you. Everything is in front of you. You will be fine and relationships are so much better once you are out of all those teenage phases. Now your next guy will be a man when you meet him . It's hard after so many years but see it for what it is, a part of life and growing. It's rare people marry their teenage girlfriends/boyfriends and if they do, they won't have enough experience to keep the love till old age. Take care of yourself.
Author QB912 Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 I honestly thought I would be the lucky one who got to marry her high school sweetheart. We've grown up together our entire life. I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.. Towards the end of the relationship, I could tell that we had grown into two different people. I love him with all of my heart, but I feel like he has a lot of growing up to do. I'm ready to graduate college and get engaged, while he's more focused on drinking, friends, and video games. I helped him with everything like school work, cooking, cleaning, etc. but I guess I can't make someone love me if they say they don't..
Dylon Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 I just don't understand. Well, that's guy for you while you all ready, he's still growing and changing, not ready to settle down. You said so yourself that you changed and the dynamic has changed. I think you just wanted the idea of security with someone you've been with for a long time. Maybe you are more ready to move on than you think.
Author QB912 Posted November 26, 2015 Author Posted November 26, 2015 I feel stupid for not ending things when I should have. Instead I forgave him, again. And he now has the upper hand. I would have been more happy had it ended when I should have ended it. But I trusted him.
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