compulsivedancer Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 A woman's online dating profile I saw recently said something along the lines of, "if you don't want a family/kids, cool, just don't message me." Like, if you want kids that badly, and all you care about is the man's little swimmers, why don't you just get yourself a sperm donor? Cut out the middle man get preggo the modern way. That would be a lot easier than dating. Because I want a family, not just kids. I want a husband who will be a father, who will want to be with me through pregnancy and be excited and part of raising a family. If that's what I want and the man doesn't want it too, why waste my time AND HIS dating. This wouldn't be any different than someone saying upfront that they don't want kids and those who want them need not apply. Trying to be with someone who wants something different than you do is forcing something that will probably make both of you miserable. 3
Ruby Slippers Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I think you should absolutely get a read on where he stands on this. In my experience, men who want a family are clear and resolute about it. They'll smile, laugh, and make cute comments when they see kids, make comments like, "You'll be a great mother," etc. If he's not clear about wanting a family in the not-distant future, I think you could be setting yourself for a lot of heartache if you don't figure this out soon. 1
joseb Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I think you should have the discussion. I know plenty of guys who want kids someday and a lot that don't (me included) ok maybe some might change their minds, but I think if he is making comments like "ugh kids" you should wonder if he is like me and has zero interest in having them. I think if he is open to the possibility then talking about it would not scare him. 1
startinganew777 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 My best friend and her husband have been together for a long time, like 15 years. He always said maybe to kids. Then they got married back in 2008. They still don't have kids. She left him 5 years ago because they got in a big fight about it. Guess what, they are still married, living in different houses though and she thought her leaving him would change his mind. So now they are stuck in this limbo of being comfortable together but her wanting so bad to have kids and he is not budging. BTW, they are both 37 and have been living in separate homes for 5 years. She is wasting her time with him knowing he will never change his mind. She gets depressed and sad about it frequently.
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