RecordProducer Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 My BF has been married twice and said that all his women have been needy. He wanted to change that and he says he found one that isn't - me, that is. Was just wondering what you guys understand by needy.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 what is your BF's definition of needy? that would be the one to know. and is his definition consistant, or does it change with each woman and their own quirks?
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 a needy woman? i will tell u this is a female who wants to see me too much and is clingy and goes overboard with being nice, like giving me everything I want and more. she comes off as desperate and needing me at all cost. this is a big turn off to me. and a needy woman will not cause arguments and back down all the time. she will do whatever i say which gets boring after a while.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 "Needy" to me means putting one's ego needs ahead of the partner's without compromise or the ability to be empathetic to the partner's needs, to the destruction of the relationship. Another way I look at it is to have a hole inside that they try to fill in every way except the way that matters: the ability to fill it themselves. They need more, and more and more - to the point where there is simply nothing left to take, and nothing left to give - and the hole is left empty, if not deeper.
scarlyjones Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 needy to me..................is what is commonly known as being an "Attention Whore" .....Everything must be about them in some way. If the conversation isnt on them ........they soon turn it so it is. You must always "notice" things about the "needy" person (ie, haircuts, new shoes, accomplishments) Also, you must always wish you could be with them,..no matter what you are doing. They need to always know what you are thinking and doing. They take no action to solve things themselves,..they always incorporate you somehow to take care of it for them. Basically,..........these people would end up dead in like 4 days if left by themselves.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer My BF has been married twice and said that all his women have been needy. He wanted to change that and he says he found one that isn't - me, that is. Was just wondering what you guys understand by needy. Lack of self-esteem and self-worth. They seem needy because they need the attention and approval of a man to prove their self-worth. Not unlike what I just went through with my ex. Same thing, just reverse the sexes.
whichwayisup Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Needy to me means putting other person FIRST all the time. Not wanting to spend time without the OP, always wanting to be with them, including in every little thing in their life. I agree with Alpha, the going overboard by being nice and being a pushover -Not being able to think for yourself and easily following OP's thoughts/opinions. Oh and the "clingy" factor - Always wanting to touch, look at the OP...It's like, stop f**k'n staring at me ALL the time!
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC They seem needy because they need the attention and approval of a man to prove their self-worth. I must disagree a bit COC on this....i have know and dated women who had low self worth and needed attention/approval from men BUT they were not needy or desperate. There is a difference betwwen wanting approval from opp sex and needing approval.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I must disagree a bit COC on this....i have know and dated women who had low self worth and needed attention/approval from men BUT they were not needy or desperate. There is a difference betwwen wanting approval from opp sex and needing approval. Ok, can you expand on that a little?
Author RecordProducer Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Thank you all for your answers. I think I got the picture.
Naive Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer My BF has been married twice and said that all his women have been needy. He wanted to change that and he says he found one that isn't - me, that is. Was just wondering what you guys understand by needy. Someone that wants to be with him 24/7. That needs the guy to do everything for her, from small things to big things.
Author RecordProducer Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ Someone that wants to be with him 24/7. That needs the guy to do everything for her, from small things to big things. That sounds much like me!
whichwayisup Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ Someone that wants to be with him 24/7. That needs the guy to do everything for her, from small things to big things. Exactly! Can't be independant and has to rely on him/her ALL the time otherwise they fall apart and feel all alone.
Author RecordProducer Posted May 28, 2005 Author Posted May 28, 2005 I just don't understand how these definitions fit in with his ex-wife. She was an unemployed heavy drinker and she would go out with her friends, drink and smoke pot and come back home in the middle of the night. Or she would make parties at home that would last for two days. The funny thing is, you should know my BF, he is all proper, doesn't drink at all, and goes to bed at a normal hour. He said there was a huge gap in terms of education and class between the two of them. She was also financially dependent on him. She didn't cook or clean or anything in the house. So what was needy about her?
Mr Spock Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 "needy" is someone who needs CONSTANT reassurance. That they're attractive, that they're whatever. Needy people are extremely demanding of their SO's time. They're like sponges......
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 They're like sponges...... Yeah and suck yer energy right out of ya.
moimeme Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 She was also financially dependent on him. She didn't cook or clean or anything in the house. So what was needy about her? She was also financially dependent on him There's your answer. Plus she was dependent on drugs.
Guest Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 I knew a guy that said he wanted a needy woman and i saw a personals ad of a man who said he wanted a needy woman...he is a low life construction worker....i dont' think of all construction workers as low life but only if they have certain characteristics. anyway when i heard that from the guy i knew a red flag went up...same thing with the guy who wrote that in his personals ad however, it seems like these guys are compeletly different from your guy i think what your bf means is that he wants someone he can take care of...he's chosen co-dependant women which is what the red flag is....he is co-dependant but the previous two guys i told you about are abusive to women whereas your guy can be easily abused. taken advantage etc but all three cases are about being co-dependant your bf is the fixer the caretaker etc he looks for people who need help in some way or need to be taken care of. they have problems of some sort
millefiori Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale and a needy woman will not cause arguments and back down all the time. she will do whatever i say which gets boring after a while. Ha, you can be needy and cause arguments. Actually it's when you're demanding the attention from your partner and not getting enough of it is when the trouble with the arguments really starts.
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