Henley Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 (edited) I am 41 and have a 10 year old daughter. My daughter’s mother and I split up when our daughter was very young. She spends half her time with me and half the time with my ex-wife. My ex-wife (and her new husband) and I have a very good relationship - if ever there was a happy divorce - this is it. 5 years ago I met a beautiful girl through work and we fell in love. She is 7 years younger than me and has no children. It has not been easy for her being in a relationship with someone who has a child. My daughter and I are very close and to be fair it has probably not been easy for her to 'squeeze in'. My girlfriend comes from a family where she is the oldest child of three. Ever since she was a young child everything has been focused around my girlfriend and her sport (she is into horses) and from when I first met her, it was clear that she was somewhat egocentric, a little spoiled and used to focus on herself. She knows this and when we first met it was not an issue to me. She was young(er), beautiful and successful - which was enough for me. I took care of the house, the financials (I am not super rich, but I have more than I need) and my daughter. Over the years we have had many conflicts around my daughter taking up too much space and at times it has felt as I had two children I needed to divide my time between. I work as an executive in a large corporation and any time not used for work, I would dedicate to the 'girls' in my family. A couple of years ago my girlfriend started getting more and more under pressure at work, we both started studying for an MBA, while at the same time her sport did not go very well (she had to put down her horse). This made her become more and more depressed - she started gaining weight, sex stopped and she became even more egocentric. She could only manage herself and had no energy to ask how my day was or involve herself with my daughter. So after 5 years of relationship I found myself with a girlfriend who was depressed and everything I tried to do to help (supporting her with her sport, her MBA, taking her on expensive holidays) did not work. Our sex life was reduced to zero and she - after 5 years - was not really close to my daughter. A 100 times I tried talking to her about it, but she did not see the same as me. It all exploded in early summer when she forced it upon me to buy a new horse for her - even though we had decided it was time for us to focus on our relationship/family - and I had to call everything off. She moved out - back to her mother and father. I quickly started seeing another woman with 2 children of her own (everyone said I needed time alone, but that is not what I ended up doing) - she is recently divorced and a real family person. She is dedicated to her children and put herself last. We are taking it very slow - due to the children - and are mainly together whenever the children are with their father or mother. Joining two families is however not easy either - we live 25 miles apart and both her children and my daughter are very happy with their schools and neighbourhoods. After having been alone with my daughter for 10 years - it is very scary to think about having to merge our two families. The new woman I am seeing works as secretary (which there is nothing wrong with) and we have less in common to talk about than I had with my ex. Friends have already hinted that the reason I am into her - is the physical side (she is petite, feminine and super fit) and not our long conversations... At the same time my ex-girlfriend and I have kept some contact (we have been a part 6 months) and she and my daughter have also kept in contact (they share a passion for those damn horses). She has lost weight and is telling me she has learned so much from this situation = She needs to take more responsibility in our family; she is involving herself with my daughter and is asking about how I am etc. etc. So here I am - a lready started a semi relationship with someone new (we also have a work relation making it even more complicated), but not feeling I can commit to this and in doubt whether it is right. Ex-girlfriend wanting to try again, committing to counselling (which she never wanted in the past), showing an interest in my daughter and me.. Physically I am very attracted to the new woman I am seeing - my ex-girlfriend is looking better than ever, but our sex life would be something we would need to restart (I am not saying I am not attracted to her at all). So stuck between two women - not feeling I can truly commit to either of them or being able to make decision. What to do? Thank you for your time reading this and commenting. Edited November 24, 2015 by Henley
marky00 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 and she and my daughter have also kept in contact (they share a passion for those damn horses). This comment made me laugh.... sorry for being side-tracked 1
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