Tiggercat88 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I had the pleasure of my ex saying that I was "so close to being perfect" after he dumped me. Needless to say I was confused. If I was so close, why are you throwing in the towel? Well, after some investigating apparently he lost the spark, did he care to tell me? No. Oh, and our personalities didn't compliment one another. I'm sorry, but that's something you tell someone after the first few months. Not almost two years of being together! This was five months ago. I'm ashamed to say that yea we 'tried again' only for it to last a few days before he calls be crying saying he can't do this because there's so much going on in his head that he needs to figure out his issues before committing to any relationship. Last he told me he didn't want another long term relationship, wasn't looking for one either. Then I found out today that he's seeing someone. I'm sure she's nice and everything, but I can't help but feel cheated. Didn't you tell me the other week you weren't looking for anything serious? He wants us to 'remain friends' yet he won't be initiating anything, so I said why bother then? I would love to think this new girl is a rebound but it's been five months (and unfortunately he and I hooked up about two weeks ago now). I told him I can't talk to him anymore because I can't handle another woman giving him what I couldn't, especially if I was 'so close to perfect'. And him being the supportive dumper said that he hopes we can turn over a new leaf, that I'll get through this, he understands how hard it is because he's been there, and to keep my chin up. Someone please help me realize he's an idiot who doesn't know how to be alone and comfortable with himself, will jump into something if there's a quick spark and that I'm better off, because I'm having a hard time moving on from him and want to forget this guy. Sincerely, One very confused and frustrated girl (Thanks for reading)
marky00 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 Yeh thats rough. I got the old "Its not u its me line" from my Ex...ouch and you know what she was right because I was literally a perfect boyfriend for the last 18 months of the relationship. Sadly the only interpretation I get form that is that she doesn't love me anymore, or why would she leave someone who is rooting for the relationship and being positive about all aspects. I think your Ex is probably the same. I bet he respects you highly as a person and as a great friend but to chose to act on an inner feeling that he wasn't in love with you anymore.
basil67 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I'm so sorry you're hurting. My only advice is to not put too much faith in a reason given for ending things. You're absolutely right that if the relationship (or you) was close to perfect for him, then he wouldn't have walked away. It's just lip service. Also known as "it's not you, it's me". That's not to say there's anything wrong with you. I'm 100% sure you're the perfect girl for a guy who you are yet to meet. Stay strong and look to the future.
basil67 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I got the old "Its not u its me line" from my Ex...ouch *snap* We both wrote that at the same time
Meli22 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 Did he explain why you guys didn't mesh? Or what you "couldn't give him"? I feel the it's not you its me line is usually a cop out.
salparadise Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I had the pleasure of my ex saying that I was "so close to being perfect" I'm ashamed to say that yea we 'tried again' only for it to last a few days calls be crying saying he can't do this so much going on in his head that he needs to figure out his issues Last he told me he didn't want another long term relationship Then I found out today that he's seeing someone He wants us to 'remain friends' yet he won't be initiating How many different kinds of wish-washy are there? Two years of dating and you still don't know much of anything about his underlying motivations? Of course we only have one side of the narrative, but from what you've said it seems that... He's confused, significantly so He's giving you sound-bite, cliche' excuses The excuses are more for him than for you He probably has a case of GIGs that's causing him to lose sleep He's confident that you're a pretty good backup plan He actually believes that "friends" is a nice consolation prize You can't believe a phukking word of it He's just not that into you, and he has options apparently
antimanchild Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 He's confident that you're a pretty good backup plan He actually believes that "friends" is a nice consolation prize You can't believe a phukking word of it He's just not that into you, and he has options apparently I was going to say GIGS also. You might not realize he's an idiot for a while, but you will at some point. I just know a few truths: 1. Force him to live with his consequences by no contact and move on with your life. That will be a far bigger statement to him than someone who waits. 2. For two years, he knew all the good things about you and all that you have to offer, and he still decided to take his chances with a stranger. 3. It's not about you realizing HE's an idiot. It's about YOU realizing YOU deserve better. #lawofattraction I do think selfish guys like this who don't know what they want and can't let you go will eventually get what's so obviously coming.
Author Tiggercat88 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 I'm embarrassed to ask but what is GIGS?
Meli22 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 "Grass is greener syndrome" Basically wanting to see whether there is better out there, relationship wise and in general. It's not a syndrome of course, it's just a mindset.
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