NutellaGirl Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Ladies – Have you ever opened yourself up sexually to someone for the first time only to have them assume you were a slut previously? Do you think your SO should appreciate your sexuality – especially if you decided and chose him to be the one you opened up to both sexually and emotionally like no other? Guys – Have you judged women in that manner? Just a question I wanted to throw out here to get some opinion on ! Thanks!
laRubiaBonita Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by NutellaGirl Ladies – Have you ever opened yourself up sexually to someone for the first time only to have them assume you were a slut previously? not that i have evr heard of or known of. Originally posted by NutellaGirl Do you think your SO should appreciate your sexuality – especially if you decided and chose him to be the one you opened up to both sexually and emotionally like no other? Yes. your SO should BE so lucky that you opted for them!
Pocky Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Ladies – Have you ever opened yourself up sexually to someone for the first time only to have them assume you were a slut previously? Opened yourself sexually? When I read that I interpret that is losing your virginity and if you've just lost your virginity then the slut concept doesn't really apply. Maybe I'm reading it incorrectly - elaborate if I'm wrong. Do you think your SO should appreciate your sexuality – especially if you decided and chose him to be the one you opened up to both sexually and emotionally like no other? Again, what do you mean by opened up to both sexually and emotionally? Opened up how?
laRubiaBonita Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky Opened yourself sexually? When I read that I interpret that is losing your virginity and if you've just lost your virginity then the slut concept doesn't really apply. Maybe I'm reading it incorrectly - elaborate if I'm wrong. Again, what do you mean by opened up to both sexually and emotionally? Opened up how? i was thinking like trying new things, new positions, letting yorself orgasm....etc.
Author NutellaGirl Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 No i do not mean losing your virginity - i mean anything beyond basic lovemaking - opening yourself and exploring your sexuality - Really getting into it if you will, and being open to their needs and desires...... Due to a negative first experience on how i lost my virginity - this means ALOT more to me.......it is really giving myself over if you will..... Hope that clears it up!
Cecelius Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Nah, I never judge a woman by what she does with me, because clearly I just have enough game to bring it out in her. Now, if she did the stuff with some other dude, then, yes, I do judge her for that... But seriously, if a g/f starts getting interested in different things with me after an appropriate period of time, it's insane to judge her for it
very-confused-girl Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Thats a complicated one. From my boyfriends´experiences - he claims that girls that were very good in bed, and open themselves a lot, were generally a bit "easy" type of girls and cheated on him. He claims that although he likes stuff beyond love-making, seeing his girlfriend for example going down on him in a very experienced way makes him also think that this girl is very experienced, sexual-orientated, therefore possibly more flirtatious. I have opened myself to him a lot, as a matter of fact he claims he has never had such a satisfactory sexual life like with me, but I convinced him as being loyal, as well because I told him he was the only one I have opened myself to. So the fact is, and I know this also from my friends´experiences, that sometimes if a girl "overdoes" things, it can have negative consequence and it can really start to make the guy think that she might be a slut. I mean it is very good to keep some shyness and innocence - or act it at least sometimes
Author NutellaGirl Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Loyality with my partner is not even an issue. I have been cheated on in one of my past relationships –I'd never do that to someone else. the concern isn’t so much how I am now – with him – but how I was previously. He welcomes and encourages the sexuality with him, however it seems that sometimes he assumes I must have been that way in the past. Truth of the matter is he has been the only one I have ever opened up to so completely in a sexual and emotional way. I just sometimes feel as though he does not appreciate me opening up and giving myself that way to him. I don’t know if it is something to appreciate – but I feel as though it is. I appreciate that he has opened himself in this way to me – and I don’t assume he has always been that way.
st8toftheheart Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by very-confused-girl So the fact is, and I know this also from my friends´experiences, that sometimes if a girl "overdoes" things, it can have negative consequence and it can really start to make the guy think that she might be a slut. I mean it is very good to keep some shyness and innocence - or act it at least sometimes I think you hit the nail on the head for me. I personally look at other actions beyond the statement in order to identify if its genuine. An example. With me if the girl opens herself right off the get go, and VERY early on that usually tells me that they have been here before and its part of their MO. Which is neither good nor bad, and is only subject to the other person feelings on the matter. You can't say that this is the only person who have opened up to sexually if other actions such as being overly flirtatous and conducting yourself in a manner which contradicts the statement then I'm not going to accept what's being said. Its alot like telling a partner they are the best they have, purely because they want to show how they feel about them and not necessarily because its true. Your actions in life echo an eternity, and you will be judged by them.
Author NutellaGirl Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by very-confused-girl So the fact is, and I know this also from my friends´experiences, that sometimes if a girl "overdoes" things, it can have negative consequence and it can really start to make the guy think that she might be a slut. I mean it is very good to keep some shyness and innocence - or act it at least sometimes I mean i don't think acting innocent and shy but really being another way is very honest. If you're completely fine with your sexuality that's great - but when you're not and you find someone you can be - it's a big thing. It's also very overwhelming. I'm still shy and apprehenive about alot of things but i guess those things are overlooked.
Author NutellaGirl Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart I think you hit the nail on the head for me. I personally look at other actions beyond the statement in order to identify if its genuine. An example. With me if the girl opens herself right off the get go, and VERY early on that usually tells me that they have been here before and its part of their MO. Which is neither good nor bad, and is only subject to the other person feelings on the matter. You can't say that this is the only person who have opened up to sexually if other actions such as being overly flirtatous and conducting yourself in a manner which contradicts the statement then I'm not going to accept what's being said. Have you seen the girl conduct themselves in this way with other people? Have you seen the girl in that environment? Or have been informed by others that they acted that way? I mean I am wondering what actions they need be and if they are exclusively with you or their partner why does that have to mean it is with everyone? or a large number of people?
sarah12 Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Have you ever opened yourself up sexually to someone for the first time only to have them assume you were a slut previously? I'd say most guys I have been with didn't think I would be so open about my sexuality. They didn't think I was a slut because they already knew my dating history. But I'd definitely say they were surprised about how open I was to try new things or how comfortable I was with my sexuality. Do you think your SO should appreciate your sexuality – especially if you decided and chose him to be the one you opened up to both sexually and emotionally like no other? I think my SO should appreciate my sexuality, period. I like sex and if he doesn't like this fact then, I guess we aren't sexually compatible. So he should appreciate it if he likes it, but beyond that, I don't think to myself "this guy should be so privileged that I am opening up myself to him" because we both chose each other, knowing that sex would likely be involved, and so we would already know that we like each other emotionally and physically enough to pursue this. As for opening up to him "like no other," well I think that by this age, any guy I meet would probably have had as many sexual experiences as I have, and so I would expect that we both have opened up to other people sexually and emotionally.
westernxer Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by NutellaGirl Guys – Have you judged women in that manner? Nothing worse than a girl who's uptight about sex. I guess my answer is no.
sarah12 Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Nothing worse than a girl who's uptight about sex. I guess my answer is no. Since there haven't been very many male responses, westernxer, do you think this would go for most guys? I'd have assumed that most men wanted a girl who's more 'innocent' and isn't as open about her sexuality because it makes her seem like a slut. At least for a committed relationship.
westernxer Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Honestly, you have more to fear from girls than guys. I've never heard a guy put down a girl by calling her a slut, unless she cheated on him or excluded him from the pussy raffle. It's mostly women who say this to each other. Even worse, they'll say it behind your back. This is why I think some women are self-conscious about it... they're afraid of what their female colleagues will think.
sarah12 Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 This is true. Women are terrible about that. I try not to judge a book by it's cover b/c I know some people have assumed my good looking girlfriends are sluts, which is far from the truth. Just because they're hot, people tend to assume they sleep around. I figured that guys who are looking for a girlfriend would probably not want a girl who's had more sexual experiences than they have and are open with their sexuality. In the reverse situation though, I wouldn't want to be with a guy who's inexperienced, but I don't want him to have slept with 5x as many people as I have either. I don't want to be a statistic. And I'd much prefer a guy who's comfortable with their sexuality as well.
westernxer Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by sarah12 I figured that guys who are looking for a girlfriend would probably not want a girl who's had more sexual experiences than they have and are open with their sexuality. In that case, I recommend lying. For girls, subtract 10 or divide in half and go with the lower number. For guys, add 10 or double the amount and go with the higher number. Or something like that.
Merin Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 I had a relationship with a Guy for 2 years that was like this He was all about being crazy with sex BUT at the same time it pissed him off.. He loved that I was comfortable with my body BUT at the same time it pissed him off.. He loved that I was down for trying new things with him BUT at the same time it pissed him off.. He was a very insecure Guy and while he loved the fact that I knew what I liked and wanted... he was pissed off that he had not been the only Guy I had sex with in my life.. Come to think of it.. he was just an assclown period but the sex was amazing.. damn it!
westernxer Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by sarah12 ... I know some people have assumed my good looking girlfriends are sluts, which is far from the truth. Just because they're hot, people tend to assume they sleep around. If only they did. On a side note: Paris Hilton may be slutty and spoiled beyond her wildest dreams, but I'd do her in a second. She's at the right age for it, too.
westernxer Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I had a relationship with a Guy for 2 years that was like this He was all about being crazy with sex BUT at the same time it pissed him off.. He loved that I was comfortable with my body BUT at the same time it pissed him off.. He loved that I was down for trying new things with him BUT at the same time it pissed him off.. He was a very insecure Guy and while he loved the fact that I knew what I liked and wanted... he was pissed off that he had not been the only Guy I had sex with in my life.. Come to think of it.. he was just an assclown period but the sex was amazing.. damn it! Talk about competing virtues... can we call them virtues?
sarah12 Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer On a side note: Paris Hilton may be slutty and spoiled beyond her wildest dreams, but I'd do her in a second. She's at the right age for it, too. At the right age for...?
Merin Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Talk about competing virtues... can we call them virtues? Seriously AND he was like this for 2 damn years!
st8toftheheart Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by sarah12 Since there haven't been very many male responses, westernxer, do you think this would go for most guys? I'd have assumed that most men wanted a girl who's more 'innocent' and isn't as open about her sexuality because it makes her seem like a slut. At least for a committed relationship. I would disagree with that. It not so much the numbers of partners, it about their approach to sex in a relationship. If its the have some drinks, drop the pants, tap the shows and maybe I'll call you somtime type of sex or frequently gave guys hand jobs on the first date, I'm not going to accept that. But the fact the she knows how to give a BJ because she was in a long relationship, that's ok. Ok, you ladies can start throwing the rocks anytime now.
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