Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Don't take it out on her, don't take it out on her, don't take it out on her...cripes people, I'm not beating the child!!!! I said I'd leave it up to her father. He's the adult in the situation that should be handling it. If he decides to call, so be it. If not, so be it. I even said I was feeling bad you guys...sheesh. Bottom line is I'm leaving it up to him. He can make the decision, he's competent.
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Men and little girls . C'mon, tiki, you know better than that. My dad made me cry every time he wanted to show me something - like a bug or stuff - yeah, bugs scared the crap outta me. Look, you won. Like alpha said, you're f*cking the brains outta her husband. Ok? What better revenge do you need? I think you should be the one to try to reconcile all this. It's hard, I know, you feel more like punching her in the stomach, but ... it's the best revenge. Loving her child, understanding her, and even liking her mommy for her. Kids sense everything, tiki. So I dunno, maybe you should actually insist on her calling her mom. So the EX doesn't allow her daughter to call over the holiday. sooooo grown up! Please, you're smarter, prettier and classier that this. All I'm saying is that women are smarter than men. That's all. The kid must see you like a friend and should want to share everything that happened to her to her mom. I mean picture this: you had a dreamy day and she's extatic about it, she saw... Pluto and she's telling mommy what an incredible exciting day she's just had!!!! LOL! See what I mean? Be smart, tiki!
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Yeah, um, it's our vacation. And when she's on the beach with her mom in Florida in July, I can guarantee she won't be begging to call daddy when she sees a dolphin. And even if she was begging to, I'm sure her mom won't be saying, "Okay, darling, here's the phone, call your Daddy". She won't be calling her during the week, we've already established that. It's our vacation. The thing that's up for discussion is whether or not she gets a call when we land. Not during. Even her father won't go for that....I can't blame him. And I know she (the mom) doesn't expect much, especially the way she's treated us.
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam Look, you won. Like alpha said, you're f*cking the brains outta her husband. Ok? I love it when ppl quote me!
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Look, you won. Like alpha said, you're f*cking the brains outta her husband. Ok? And hey, it's not her husband! They are divorced!!! OMG!!
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by tiki And hey, it's not her husband! They are divorced!!! OMG!! just let your man deal with it, it is his daughter and his ex wife. stay outta the minefield otherwise you'll eventually get blown to smithereens.
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by tiki And hey, it's not her husband! They are divorced!!! OMG!! I KNOW!!! But they did made the same vows before... see what I mean??? LOL, you'd think I knew if you were married or not by now!
Treasa Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Hmmm...maybe you did skim. My wife??!? Bah, sorry...I think I have an ear infection, and it's messing with my head (literally). Keep in mind that I AM a mama's girl, but I also believe that children shouldn't be punished (even though I know it's not on purpose) for their parents' mistakes.
Treasa Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 I agree with CurlyIAm. And I think it has to do with the mother. My mom STILL makes me call her if I travel anywhere, and I wouldn't want her to worry. I think your husband should at least text her (his ex) and say that everyone's fine, but if the girl really still wants to call her mom, he should let her.
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa I think your husband should at least text her (his ex) and say that everyone's fine, Now THAT'S an idea!! I really don't think she'll be even on her mind...we're going to be at DisneyWorld for six days. We've got passes to all the parks and the water parks + more. We're staying at the Disney resort even. We just want to go and enjoy our time together as a family.
RecordProducer Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Tiki, you're being completely irrational. You're trying to straighten a winding river up. You don't raise this girl, her parents (and mostly her mom) does. She lives with her mom, right? You took her kid and now you don't let her call her mom. I assume you're doing this so that she never lets her go again with you and ruin your vacation. You want the kid out of the picture but things will end up by your H hating you for being a bitch. Relax, enjoy your vacation. Life is so beautiful when we (women) turn off our brains. We're so full of anger, sometimes I wonder how come it doesn't burn us inside, I mean literally the fire we spit is killing us. Sometimes it's justified and we stay silent for no reason, but sometimes we exaggerate. Let her talk to her mom for 5-10 min every day. My kids are 6 and I would die if I had to worry about how they are. You have a kid yourself! Have a great time and don't ruin anyone's vacation (your husband's or his daughter's). That child misses her mother. You said yourself that all she wants to do is call her.
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 I totally agree with RP's post except for the part she wrote in bold. Very true about us getting all worked up inside! Irrelevant of the reason !
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by tiki We just want to go and enjoy our time together as a family. ahhh....that's "blended family"
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam I totally agree with RP's post except for the part she wrote in bold. me too! but i also agree with the bolded part also. TIKI is the bad guy here no j/k
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer You don't raise this girl, her parents (and mostly her mom) does. A step-parent can have as much responsibility as a parent. When/If you are a step-parent, you will see that you care for a child no matter what. Someone has to. I've taken better care of the child than the mother OR the father, and her father knows that. Trust me on that one. Her mother has even thanked me for doing as much as I have for her. I've opened up my brand new home to this child. I've opened up my life to her. She lived in filth prior to. She still lives in filth at her mothers. She has been left alone, forgotten about, and pushed to the side. She's six. She is malnourished. Her mom has three kids from three different men. Her mom was coming home from clubs at 4 am until recently. She lives in a nasty home with doors that are never locked. Her mother has moved men in before. Originally posted by RecordProducer She lives with her mom, right? You took her kid and now you don't let her call her mom. Yes, she lives with her mom. Her father has her every other weekend and during the week. And wait just a g'damn minute....I took her kid? Excuse me?! Wrong-O. My Husband, HER FATHER is taking her on vacation. Get real. I assume you're doing this so that she never lets her go again with you and ruin your vacation. No, wrong again. He has her for two weeks of vacation out of the year. And she cannot stop us from going. Nice try though. You want the kid out of the picture but things will end up by your H hating you for being a bitch. Funny you should say that. My husband was just emailing me at the same time telling me what an awesome impact I've had on his life. Yeah, if he makes his own decision to not call, then wants to look at me like I'm the bitch...lol..yeah, he can hate me. And how is wanting the kid out of the picture correlated with taking her to Disney?! Yes, I hate her so bad that I opened up my home to her and have been willing to teach that child everything she knows because I want her out of the picture? I resent you for saying that. Do your research before you run yuor mouth, please. Let her talk to her mom for 5-10 min every day. My kids are 6 and I would die if I had to worry about how they are. And when you decide to divorce, you forfeit those rights. REMEMBER?!?!?!? I do have a kid myself. And I can see it from BOTH angles. The mom's and the stepmom's. Have a great time and don't ruin anyone's vacation (your husband's or his daughter's). That child misses her mother. You're being ridiculous and totally out of line. Excuse me? I'm ruining THEIR vacation?! Gimme a friggin break. And my husband would laugh in your face too. Wake up! My first priority is to be a wife to him, not a mommy to her. I am not her mom. I didn't marry her. I married HIM. She came along with the package. I have accepted that and have no issues with it. So do me a favor, and quit being presumptuous. It's tacky. You can go belittle someone else. I've already said I'm leaving it up to her father. I said that like two pages ago.
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale ahhh....that's "blended family" Yes, excuse me, blended family. WTFever. You guys should try it on for size and see just how fun it is.
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Hey, tiki, calm down. I sure as hell didn't assume that girl was malnurished! We assumed / I assumed she was ... I don't know, a normal person (see my motto ). Ok, we got it, she's a scumbag. You should do whatever feels right to you. I trust your instincts. I feel differently about this issue, but it's your kid and you know better. Enjoy and have fun.
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 It wasn't you, curly. It was the assumptions and the lies that RecordProducer was spouting out. I have a low tolerance for someone that's doing nothing but lying. Everything she said in that last post was complete BS and I await anxiously too see where she has gathered her information. I think sometimes people forget that being a step-parent isn't fun. It's not an honor, either. "Oh please let me step-parent your child, let me clothe and bathe her, let me waste MY money on your child...please oh please." See? I think not. She came with my Husband and I've done an excellent job warmly inviting her into my home and life thus far.
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Yes, excuse me, blended family. WTFever. You guys should try it on for size and see just how fun it is. jeez TIKI, you are really being a kunt today. I don't like u like this at all!!!
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Tiki, it's not my business, but it isn't lies. It's her own perception. She will resent me for doing so, but I'll share a little detail she put on this board today. She was married to a man that was divorced. Got all jealous about his ex since her mother just died before her marriage. Apparenly the guy left her and his 2 kids for his ex exactly because she was trying to push her away. Not my business again, but as I've grown to understand RP( I hope), it's her way of warning you as to not make the same mistake. That's why she said that awful thing in bold. She's projecting her own experience on to you own. We're all the victims of our own past experience. I don't believe she intentionally meant to hurt you. Rather than to warn you... She was wrong, of course. But she meant well.
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale jeez TIKI, you are really being a kunt today. I don't like u like this at all!!! Well, you'd get upset too if you were getting 'attacked' verbally with lies and other bullsh*t. And you're lucky you don't have a 'blended' family. You could easily have one.
Author tiki Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Okay then, let's see. Originally posted by RecordProducer You don't raise this girl, her parents (and mostly her mom) does. Lie. I do help raise this child. What do ya think I do, sit around and let her run out into the street? Come on now. You took her kid and now you don't let her call her mom. I didn't take anyone's kid and can't wait to hear the stem of where she got this information. THIS IS A LIE. I assume you're doing this so that she never lets her go again with you and ruin your vacation. ASSUMPTION You want the kid out of the picture but things will end up by your H hating you for being a bitch. Um...speaks for itself. don't ruin anyone's vacation (your husband's or his daughter's). Do you get what I'm saying? Helping is one thing. This poster is attacking, not helping. And THAT'S why I'm pissed. And if it's her 'perception', her perception is WARPED.
alphamale Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by tiki And you're lucky you don't have a 'blended' family. You could easily have one. my gurl i just hooked back up with has three teenagers. so i know a bit about it in having to deal with all her kids f***ked up sheeyot over the past 4 frikkin' years. and don't evern get me started on their f***ked up a-hole father that hates me.
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 The scientists made an experiment once with a shark: they isolated him until he got really hungry. Then they let a bunch of fish swimm around him. Every time he's go after one of them, they'd put a glass shield in front of him, which prevented the shark from getting to the fish. they kept doing that for a while till the shark got all bloody. then they let the fish swim near the shark without the glass shield. The shark didn't touch any of them and starved himself to death. He associated the fish with the hurt from bumping onto te glass. I'm sure you get the hint, tiki. Cool off!!
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