Jimmyjackson Posted November 23, 2015 Posted November 23, 2015 I have a lot of things going for me at the moment, I've just got a new job with decent pay, I've learning to drive, I've got an opportunity to volunteer with the police force and I'm getting good at guitar. I feel that something is missing though, I've been single for a while now...about 15/16 months and I wouldn't mind dating someone. I'm a decent looking guy, above average, slim build, funny, confident and I have a lot of good qualities but I seem to lack choice when it comes to the opposite sex. I'm on tinder but don't seem to get many matches that particularly intrigue me, the issue I seem to have is I'm rarely around members of the opposite sex apart from when I go out clubbing. I guess what I am asking is how do people naturally gain female attention? I know this friend of mine who is less attractive than me but always has a few females interested in him, I know he's probably 'alpha male' and what not but how does it come so naturally? If I'm out drinking I usually get too drunk and I think women tend to assume that if you approach them on a night out you're after one thing. Do I need to widen my friendship group and make friends with more females? majority of the people I hang around with are males; I've noticed a few of my friends have a lot of female friends in other groups they're a part of. Other than work and the gym I tend to stay in a lot, perhaps this is another thing I am going wrong with? Any advice on how to attract women and be around more women would be appreciated. What kind of things do women look for in a man that grabs her attention? and how do you do this subconsciously?
Oregon_Dude Posted November 23, 2015 Posted November 23, 2015 Other than work and the gym I tend to stay in a lot, perhaps this is another thing I am going wrong with?Well, yeah. If you're not putting yourself in situations to meet women... you're not going to meet them. That said, you sound like the perfect candidate for online dating. NOT Tinder; Tinder f*cking sucks. Crazies, overweight women and thousands of bots. Do OKCupid. Also realize that no matter how awesome you are - and you sound attractive on paper - the dating scene is all sorts of f*cked up, women are insanely picky, and honestly, sometimes there's nothing you can do but really love yourself and your hand. 1
thecrucible Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 People are individually attracted to different personal qualities but if you have stuff going on in your life (which it sounds like you do) and have inner confidence and self-worth then that goes some way. For me I don't have the best luck either. However what helps me is to never act like anyone around me is better than me or try to impress anyone beyond being a decent person. If you put someone on a pedestal, they can only look down on you. While not everyone is attracted to me, I get respect from people regardless of their intentions. This is more important to me in the long run. You want to attract the right kind of person, not just attract people in numbers. I really like the website Doctor Nerdlove for dating advice.
joseb Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 the issue I seem to have is I'm rarely around members of the opposite sex apart from when I go out clubbing. If I'm out drinking I usually get too drunk a Any advice on how to attract women and be around more women would be appreciated. 1. Spend more time around members of the opposite sex. Go do some activities, go to nice bars they frequent. Anywhere really. 2. Don't get too drunk! No need to. 3. Stop thinking there is something you can do and women will come flocking. Doesn't work like that for 99% of guys. You have to approach them.
Maggie4 Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 Be selective. Go after the type of women YOU want, instead of waiting for a random woman to pick you. You must have a certain type you like. Answer the question: on a weekend the kind of woman I like can be found doing --- at ---. Then you search there. ( ex. you like surfer girls, then you go look around at the beach. you like artistic girls, you go to the gallery, etc. ) This way the relationship has more chance of success because you already narrowed down to what you want. I wouldn't be interested in a guy who'll take any decent looking female with a pulse.
xxoo Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 Do I need to widen my friendship group and make friends with more females? majority of the people I hang around with are males; I've noticed a few of my friends have a lot of female friends in other groups they're a part of. Yes, hang around mixed groups of men and women. Women have women friends, which multiplies the number of women you'll meet. Enjoy socializing in a natural and relaxed way with your female friends, and this will spill over into natural and relaxed introductions to their friends. Then turn on the charm Don't drink too much. Be the confident, capable guy. Play your guitar while all the women circle. Then pick a woman and make her feel special. You're golden!
Samhain Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 I've always found that just going up to a woman you find physically attractive or one you are intrigued by, and telling her you intrigue me or, I think you're gorgeous, works a lot. No beating around the bush. No pun intended.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 Be selective. Go after the type of women YOU want, instead of waiting for a random woman to pick you. You must have a certain type you like. Answer the question: on a weekend the kind of woman I like can be found doing --- at ---. Then you search there. ( ex. you like surfer girls, then you go look around at the beach. you like artistic girls, you go to the gallery, etc. ) This way the relationship has more chance of success because you already narrowed down to what you want. I wouldn't be interested in a guy who'll take any decent looking female with a pulse. I am picky when it comes to women...maybe too picky. The type of girl I like is 'alternative' and there aren't many in my area! That's a good question I will have a good think about it.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 Well, yeah. If you're not putting yourself in situations to meet women... you're not going to meet them. That said, you sound like the perfect candidate for online dating. NOT Tinder; Tinder f*cking sucks. Crazies, overweight women and thousands of bots. Do OKCupid. Also realize that no matter how awesome you are - and you sound attractive on paper - the dating scene is all sorts of f*cked up, women are insanely picky, and honestly, sometimes there's nothing you can do but really love yourself and your hand. To be honest I'd rather not do online dating at all, I think people tend to be very misleading on it in terms of appearance.
ZA Dater Posted November 24, 2015 Posted November 24, 2015 To be honest I'd rather not do online dating at all, I think people tend to be very misleading on it in terms of appearance. Very good decision to avoid online.
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