tashfv Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Hello, I guess I will cut right to the chase and spill the beans since it has been playing on my mind for months now! Hopefully this will make sense. I am originally from the the UK moved to Canada for work 3 years ago probably heading home soon also. So my ex from 10 years ago and I have remained friends. We have always talked since we broke up. I dumped him but we parted on good terms. Over the years I have been married and divorced he has also been married and currently separated. During this time we would always stay in contact and meet up to have a chat every couple of years or less. We last met up in May just before I returned to CA after 7 months in the UK. It was different this last time though. He had this smile on his face I hadn't seen in a long time and we spoke on his lunch hour, which turned into 3 hours. We started discussing hypothetical situations of us getting back together and during this time he decided to reel of a whole bunch of things he remembered from our relationship like it was yesterday that I didn't even remember. Including all the times I never replied to his messages ( which honestly I didn't think he would even think twice about), how I keep moving countries (used to live in Australia when married) and not giving him my details, things we used to do together etc which I didn't really think too hard about at the time. After he was separated his wife hacked his iCloud and found a message from me (a friendly message, I don't send any other kind to him) so I suggested we stop talking for a while. He was having none of it and found an app with untraceable messaging which I thought was a bit much really, but it was then I started to think about it all. As I'm in CA we now talk on the phone every couple o weeks for an hour or so about everything and nothing but right now I think i may be starting to fall for him again. Either way I don't want to make any assumptions about his actions thus far but would it be wrong to think he still has feelings for me?? I don't want to ask a silly question but I hate jumping to conclusions! Such a long message but thanks for reading! Amy
Author tashfv Posted November 23, 2015 Author Posted November 23, 2015 (edited) Hello!! Aaarrggghh!! Is all I do these days. My ex and I broke up as mentioned above 10 yrs ago. We have all moved on since then but always kept in touch. I broke up with him btw. I got married and divorced, he got married and currently separated. We started speaking again back in May. We met up for lunch and he brought up a lot about the past, why we broke up, if we could ever get back together, that the last time I was single he couldn't do anything at the time. So I think it's safe to say he kind of would like me back maybe or something?? Things have gotten messy! His wife hacked his account (they have been separated since May) found a message from me(harmless) but started freaking out so I wanted to cut contact until he sorted it out but he would still talk to me, and told me a couple weeks a go I can call anytime (he moved out from home). I myself am currently going through an engagement break up so I'm emotional in general then I have these feelings for my ex...I'm just a mess. I feel like I should cut him off but then I like him in my life. neither of us say exactly how we feel we just spend a lot of timing hinting at life together!! Should I tell him how I feel?? Try and get over it? Please help!! Thank you so much Edited November 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator name deleted ~6
whichwayisup Posted November 23, 2015 Posted November 23, 2015 RUN. Your ex is an ex for a reason. And, you don't know 100 percent if his marriage truly is over. His wife freaking out that you two are in contact is kind of a tell that they aren't 'over'. You're not in a good place to be starting something off with your ex since you are getting over an engagement break up do you really think connecting and spending time with your ex is what you need? Think with your head and be logical, don't make a stupid mistake that is going to bite you in the butt.
preraph Posted November 23, 2015 Posted November 23, 2015 First of all, try to remember exactly why you didn't get along, and ask yourself if it's likely either of you has matured or changed in a way that would now make that less of an issue. But in the meantime, you're both on the rebound looking to anesthetize the hurt of breakups, so that's not a good time to try to rebuild a relationship, though you might find comfort in each other's arms for awhile. I would dig deeper and find out if he isn't planning on dating around once he's over the hump in the heartbreak, because nearly all guys look forward to the time they again feel like playing the field after being committed to one person for so long. Maybe he will be honest. Say, Don't you think you'll more than likely be ready for your freedom once the worst of this is over? And you know we can never be just casual. See what he says. And if you are not ready to even entertain a relationship, with him or anyone else, because it's too soon, tell him "It's too soon. I need time to heal. Maybe in a few months. "
Author tashfv Posted November 23, 2015 Author Posted November 23, 2015 Good point preraph. It was a 4 yr LD relationship ended when I was 19 due to me not seeing him enough and thinking he didn't really want to be with me. Otherwise we were great and I never checked with him if he wanted to end it. Definitely terrible timing for sure. Guess I'm just latching onto the fact that if I was older I would have talked about it unlike an emotional teen. My feeling are definitely all over the place though and I need to focus.
loverage21 Posted November 23, 2015 Posted November 23, 2015 Hello, I guess I will cut right to the chase and spill the beans since it has been playing on my mind for months now! Hopefully this will make sense. I am originally from the the UK moved to Canada for work 3 years ago probably heading home soon also. So my ex from 10 years ago and I have remained friends. We have always talked since we broke up. I dumped him but we parted on good terms. Over the years I have been married and divorced he has also been married and currently separated. During this time we would always stay in contact and meet up to have a chat every couple of years or less. We last met up in May just before I returned to CA after 7 months in the UK. It was different this last time though. He had this smile on his face I hadn't seen in a long time and we spoke on his lunch hour, which turned into 3 hours. We started discussing hypothetical situations of us getting back together and during this time he decided to reel of a whole bunch of things he remembered from our relationship like it was yesterday that I didn't even remember. Including all the times I never replied to his messages ( which honestly I didn't think he would even think twice about), how I keep moving countries (used to live in Australia when married) and not giving him my details, things we used to do together etc which I didn't really think too hard about at the time. After he was separated his wife hacked his iCloud and found a message from me (a friendly message, I don't send any other kind to him) so I suggested we stop talking for a while. He was having none of it and found an app with untraceable messaging which I thought was a bit much really, but it was then I started to think about it all. As I'm in CA we now talk on the phone every couple o weeks for an hour or so about everything and nothing but right now I think i may be starting to fall for him again. Either way I don't want to make any assumptions about his actions thus far but would it be wrong to think he still has feelings for me?? I don't want to ask a silly question but I hate jumping to conclusions! Such a long message but thanks for reading! Amy This guy from 10 years ago. Let me guess, a high school romance of some kind? First love?
Author tashfv Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 Yes first love and was in high school.
JustAnotherLostLove Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Maybe I'm just saying this cause I'm fresh out of a 3 year relationship, against my will (2 months ago). But why not take it slow, and see if something develops? People mature, and second chances do exist.
loverage21 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Yes first love and was in high school. �� Besides your recently divorced husband and your first love, have you been seriously involved with anyone else?
Author tashfv Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 Besides your recently divorced husband and your first love, have you been seriously involved with anyone else? Just the guy in currently going through a break up with. 3 yrs and we were engaged.
loverage21 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Just the guy in currently going through a break up with. 3 yrs and we were engaged. So you are considering returning to this guy you dated in high school, what brought about that spark and that interest? Have you had feelings for him all this time?
Author tashfv Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 So you are considering returning to this guy you dated in high school, what brought about that spark and that interest? Have you had feelings for him all this time?[/quote Yes... But His current situation would make it quite difficult to begin with as his separated wife knows who I am. It all came about basically because many years ago being young I broke it off thinking he didn't really want to be with me and then after speaking to him a few months ago and he spoke about how long he tried to get me back, how a hyperthetical relationship would work now, something just clicked and I realised all these years he kept contacting me, I kept ignoring him(only because I was busy and didn't think he would even really notice) and it was all because he still was thinking about me and what would have happened if we stayed together. I think I suppressed my feeling and just moved on at the time.
casey.lives Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Sounds like the romance of the century!! Go for it!!
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