Bad break up after 18 years - misscarrage and broken engagement

[HopeisallIhave]

My name is Mehdi. My ex fiancé Allene and I were together for 18 years on and off. Finally on Valentine's Day of this year (2015) I asked her to marry me. It was a big suprise to her and made the situation extremely romantic. She cried and happily accepted. I moved in with her soon after and she got pregnant with both of our first baby. Things were looking up and I was on top of the world.

 

Then suddenly we found out she was going to lose the baby. In addition her father died suddenly. Both of the news was devistating to us, especially her, which is very understandable. Well soon after, one thing led to another, small arguments became big ones and we broke up and she kicked me out of her house. I really tried but her emotions (understandably) were too high and it seemed like she took all her anger out on me and the relationship.

 

I've since moved out into a nice apartment downtown , got a Doberman puppy, am going to church regularly and trying to rebuild my life. But it still is so hard , I had it all, and it just crumbled so fast. I love this woman and even got a huge tattoo of her on my arm of her with her name underneath declaring my love to her. I will be there for life , just like I want to be with her for life.

 

Is there any hope? I am in NC now and have been for two weeks since I last attempted contact. I sent some positive messages after two weeks of NC but received no reponse. Now I feel I need to go at least 30-45-60 days to let her cool down and possibly miss me. Any thoughts ? I even let her keep the engagement ring, it was really nice too. I want her back so bad , she may move away as well next year, I hope we can reconcile before then. I pray all day everyday but nothing seems to be working. Honestly, I'm broken.