Bzr13 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 (edited) After dating a guy for 9 months he was offered work an hour and a half away after not being able to find work where he currently lived. We had both been cheated on in our previous relationships and were taking things steadily. We were both from very similar backgrounds and had very similar morals and values. He initially turned down the job due to not wanting to leave the relationship and his current life, only to be offered more money. He wanted to remain close without continuing the relationship as he thought it would hurt us both more, I suggested trying distance as I did not want to break up. For the first few weeks we saw each other although his behaviour was off and I then found out he had mental health related problems (what sounded like depression) and his own issues he was struggling with. I had suspected it as such but he hid it very well and closed off when I encouraged letting me in about it previously. He broke it off saying he couldn't deal with the pressure of trying to keep his life stable while also keeping a functioning relationship, didnt want to let me down, wanted to be a better person, experience more, travel etc. but still had love and respect. I took this as him not wanting strings attached, I worked on putting it behind me and trying to move past it. After 6 weeks of very limited contact (him sending congratulations messages etc) he called in a state detailing him missing me beyond hurt and ended the conversation saying he was still in love with me. Following this he stayed in contact with me opening up more than he ever had about what he was going through, I told him he could come to me when he was struggling which he did. During this time he stayed at my house once a month, telling me he loved and missed me, he initiated each visit and each conversation. We eventually slept together to which he told me had had not dated or slept with anyone else in the time. Not long after I asked where it was going, he told me he had intentions of coming back to where I lived (if his job fell through which was a very likely possibility and he was unhappy at work) but still had the same view on a distance relationship, said he wanted us to be friends until he came back. I told him I couldn't just be a friend because the repercussions (the possibility of him being with other people) would kill me. He said it was a silly idea as he was not interested in that. I gave it a go, but struggled as he continued behaviour towards me as more than a friend (still telling me he loved me etc.) And confronted him at a crossroads with intentions of him actually making his mind up of what he wanted. It was then he told me he had slept with another girl (a friend of his) the week before. He said it was in a drunk moment of her being upset and him being upset over his issues he has been carrying, he called it stupid and a mistake they both regretted, kept apologizing admitted his wrongdoings and said he felt terrible for screwing over and hurting me. I asked if he was actually in love me if he could go through with not stopping it before it got to that, to which he said he genuinely was. I was very spiteful towards him and told him exactly how it is, deleted him from social media and told him he was free to screw around guilt free now. My head is spinning and its unbelievably hurtful and confusing, any very honest advice and opinions would be helpful. The time we had been back in contact was 3-4 months, he is 22 I am 23 Edited November 22, 2015 by Bzr13 Added extra information
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