Sersh1019 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Here is my story: My ex (25y/o) and I (28 y/o) were together for 5 years and had been living together for the last 4 years and were polyamorus for the last 2. About a year ago she was under lot of stress, lost her job and she had to move 4 hours away for her new one. We talked every night, and she came down every weekend. At the same time my work environment started becoming very hostile and my depression and PTSD flared up really bad. In a moment of weakness I had a unauthorized one night stand. My ex was crushed but when she reached out to friend about it she told them "I think I'm going to loose him" I got into therapy and we tried our best to work through things. After three months of working on things everything was getting better, till she started lashing out at me. After one particular fight, on a camping trip she wanted us to take so I could get away from work (March of this year), she stated "I just dont know why I'm so angry all the time." I told her that is how depression works and that she is probably still not over what I did to her and she should get into therapy as well. She did for a few sessions than quit. We had also had plans to get married in the near future so when she knew i was started the process of getting her a custom ring she began planning out wedding (May of this year). In late July we went on a beach trip with her family right after we carried out long term plans to move up there, take two months off work to recoup from my previous job, and find new work. Everyone at this point knew our official engagement was right around the bend and that we were really happy together. Even after the initial break up she admitted to things being better. She even got us a pair of lego sets on her way home from work and while she watched me build mine she said "It doesnt feel like home till I watch you build legos in it" when I asked why she wasnt building hers with me. But That's when things took a turn for the worse. After the trip, we started fighting alot. A lot of the fighter were related to a guy she had been talking to for about a month. At the same time I wrecked my motorcycle and was in bed for two weeks. During one of these fights I said that "I dont see things getting better if she didn't back away from this other guy temporarily and focus on working on us." In another fight she said that she "Just wished we could take a small break." Then in one particularly bad fight, while I was drugged up from the bike accident I showed her that I had the ring. The next morning she started talking about backing away from he other guy. That Friday rolled around and she was 4 hours late from home and I came to find out that she was with that guy the whole time, and she said that she wanted to break up with me, and kicked me out taking into no consideration I still didn't have a new job, I was still broken from the bike accident, I had no where to go, and she was putting me in massive debt. I ended up moving in with friends and she immediately (The day after throwing me out) started dating this other guy. After two weeks of trying to make things work and figure out what was going on the pain became too much and I went NC. I only broke NC in order to get my stuff, my cat, and my PTSD Service dog back. This was disastrous as every time we tried to talk and work out splitting up our stuff and the joint account she wanted to fight about why she broke up with me. At this point she pushed all of her friends away. If anyone said anything about her making a mistake, or slowing down and thinking, or voicing concerns about the quality of the guy she was dating she cut them off or began lashing out at them. She was also, poorly, trying to hid from her family that she was seeing another guy, and hide from everyone else that she moved him in a week after kicking me out. This is where things get weird. People started realizing that everything he told me and them about wanting to leave me were either pulled out of a hat, severely exaggerated, or full blown lies. One night she came to where I was living and broke into my car to put stuff in it after telling everyone she was scared of me. She kept telling everyone I could come get my stuff when ever but then when I would try to get it would tell me it wasn't a good time. Three months this goes on till late this October when we (Me and 6 of our mutual friends) went over to get my stuff. She refused to let me take my bedroom set, threatening to call the cops. She only let our friends take the cat after they convinced her that she was going to my sister and not to me, and She told me that I could sue her for my service animal. Any now for the really weird stuff. While at the apartment, among all this guys stuff, she still had the music box I got her for our three year anniversary on the bookshelf in the living room, and on the fridge int he kitchen she still had the menu I hand wrote of all the meals I could cook for us, even though she pulled all of "my magnets" of the fridge. Even weirder was in the weeks after, as I unpacked boxes of my stuff that she had packed for me, I kept finding her stuff. No gift I had given her, but things that our undoubtedly hers, like her shoes, clothes, games, and trinkets she had bought for herself. So here I am, been on NC for 4 months. Her family is still talking to me, her cousins are pissed at what shes done. I have two boxes full of her stuff that she packed in with mine. Shes still living with this other guy and trying to hide it, and shes been fired from the volunteer organization we both volunteer with because she kept lashing out at the owners wife, and no one can trust her. I'm just sitting her wondering WTF is going on. Is this G.I.G.S with a dash of mental break or something. Should I be there when she comes out of this? Do I go about getting my service animal or would that make things worse?
Author Sersh1019 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 (edited) What is g.i.g.s ? Grass is Greener Syndrom. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=265952 She did things very similar to it: Pulling reasons for the break up out of a hat (Her reasons ranged from "I dont know if I want to be doing this the next five years" and "I just want to be friends with you" to dragging up fights from 2 or 3 years ago as justification), Pushing friends and family away who try to get her to stop and thing, Jumping immediately into a new relationship, etc. Edited November 22, 2015 by Sersh1019
smackie9 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 She probably has BPD which means she will continue to have erratic/impulsive behavior issues. It's over bro, get a lawyer and get the dog back. She has no right to have an assist dog that was assigned to you. You could take her to small claims court if you have the receipts for the items in question. 1
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