EO422 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 So basically, I told the girl I like her. We aren't officially dating yet. I do have OCD, and it makes me overthink and over analyze like crazy. Before I told her I liked her I was sure I liked her and the reasons why, I even posted about it here. Ever since I told her that I have been completely overthinking, over analyzing, and I feel fogged in my own mind. Not sure what to do, I hate this. I want to enjoy and just see where this relationship goes. Now I am doubting I don't like her, and in my head for some reason I am not seeing her. Not sure how to explain it, but like I said I have this idea in my head and I totally forgot her qualities and who she was because my head is just overthinking everything. I wanna know if anyone else experiences this. I do have OCD so this is common to happen to me, it happens in every single relationship I have had. I just hate going through it! So hard to ground back to reality. Oh and I am also starting to feel bad because I am afraid I am using her. Although I do pay for almost everything, and cuddle with her etc. !! Before I told her I liked her. Few days ago everything was fine, I could see clearly in my head but then my OCD comes up and just clouds everything! So stupid. Anyways, thanks everyone. I guess this is more of just a rant. I am just afraid I am using her and I don't want to be that person!
Author EO422 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 Sorry for the horrible sentence structure. I was just typing what was in my head, so it may seem all over the place! Sorry and thank you!
Islander19 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Even people without OCD tend to overthink relationships and worry about this stuff unnecessarily. I do it all the time. The fact that you're thinking about her and your relationship with her this much probably means you like her. People have a nasty habit of sabatoging themselves. Don't let that happen to you. Just enjoy your time with her and see where it goes. Good luck!
ExpatInItaly Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 OP, are you in treatment for your OCD? I ask because a good therapist could surely recommend some effective coping strategies. I'm not sure what to recommend to you because I haven't been in your place, but recognizing and identifying that this is a symptom of the disorder is good; it indicates you are able to separate your condition from your true feelings about this girl. 1
Author EO422 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 OP, are you in treatment for your OCD? I ask because a good therapist could surely recommend some effective coping strategies. I'm not sure what to recommend to you because I haven't been in your place, but recognizing and identifying that this is a symptom of the disorder is good; it indicates you are able to separate your condition from your true feelings about this girl. Yes I am currently in treatment! Just therapy, I refuse medication. Although it may help, I did not have good experiences with is. I will be bringing this up to my therapist when I go this week. It always targets my relationships!
smackie9 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 I agree you need to get a handle on your disorder or you will never have normalcy in your life. There are lots of treatment options so don't give up. Obviously there is no cure, but there are ways to control it. I hope your therapist is at least putting you through exposure response therapy...they claim it's the best route for this disorder. Note: not all therapists are the same. If you find the therapy they are providing you isn't working, find another therapist.
casey.lives Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 It's natural, you put yourself out there and have yet to see the results. Your anticipating something.. but why would you just tell someone you like them.. and not have a game plan on how to proceed. words are stalemate if you don't have an action plan. Now that you've said something, DO SOMETHING!!
Author EO422 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 I agree you need to get a handle on your disorder or you will never have normalcy in your life. There are lots of treatment options so don't give up. Obviously there is no cure, but there are ways to control it. I hope your therapist is at least putting you through exposure response therapy...they claim it's the best route for this disorder. Note: not all therapists are the same. If you find the therapy they are providing you isn't working, find another therapist. Yes we do ERP often! It always comes back though, so I am trying to just relax about this! I love when I am relaxed and can enjoy why I liked her. Her personality is amazing and now I am just fogging that! It sucks but I'm gunna work through it
ravfour4 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 I do something similar and analyze too often. I essentially need my gf to let me know she likes me or compliment me almost everyday, if we don't talk for a week, I feel very distant, as if we're not dating and put up a defense mechanism. That goes away once I see them again, usually. When things are good (when we're together or if they're letting me know they still care often enough), my over analyzing goes away. If I'm unsure of their feelings and have doubt, it goes crazy. 1
Author EO422 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 I do something similar and analyze too often. I essentially need my gf to let me know she likes me or compliment me almost everyday, if we don't talk for a week, I feel very distant, as if we're not dating and put up a defense mechanism. That goes away once I see them again, usually. When things are good (when we're together or if they're letting me know they still care often enough), my over analyzing goes away. If I'm unsure of their feelings and have doubt, it goes crazy. I do this as well. Not sure if you have OCD or not. I would imagine you down some obsessing. Nothing to be ashamed of. There is only a small percentage of us who have it. But it's okay! We are part of 4% of the population who is cool lol
allez102 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 I do this as well. Not sure if you have OCD or not. I would imagine you down some obsessing. Nothing to be ashamed of. There is only a small percentage of us who have it. But it's okay! We are part of 4% of the population who is cool lol There is a lot more to OCD than having compulsive thoughts about a romantic interest - many people over-analyse, over-worry etc but don't have OCD. Just worth pointing out as people often throw the term 'OCD' around! I don't think ravfour4 has OCD; rather, he has certain entrenched beliefs and attitudes about relationships (needing affirmation, etc) based on his own previous experience of them. OP, it certainly doesn't seem as you've said or done anything to her to make her think she's being used so i'm sure you'll be fine. Good luck with your treatment.
smackie9 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Yes we do ERP often! It always comes back though, so I am trying to just relax about this! I love when I am relaxed and can enjoy why I liked her. Her personality is amazing and now I am just fogging that! It sucks but I'm gunna work through it I totally get that medication can be so bad for you, and have such negative effects......maybe medical marijuana might be a better healthier option. Not all medical marijuana get's you high nor do you have to smoke it. It comes in drops, candy, cookies, etc.
Author EO422 Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 I totally get that medication can be so bad for you, and have such negative effects......maybe medical marijuana might be a better healthier option. Not all medical marijuana get's you high nor do you have to smoke it. It comes in drops, candy, cookies, etc. Never tried it. Will try to find a doctor who prescribes it and see what he says about it
DoesntGetIt Posted November 23, 2015 Posted November 23, 2015 If she hasn't returned your expressions of how you feel about her, and things aren't moving in a way you expect, then you are going to analyze it. That is what we humans do. I'm in a relationship right now which has been a bit of a struggle for a few weeks, and it mostly stems from her not being open about her feelings or doing small gestures to show how she feels, so I'm stuck wondering. Eventually I do something like shut her out, she gets mad/sad and then we finally actually talk and then she'll admit to liking me, and my analyzing will stop for a bit. I've dated a lot of people, some very serious, some flings, and the more closed off a person is, the more you over-think everything because your brain makes up for the lack of feedback. If you can, just talk to her openly and honestly about how you feel, how you're overthinking everything, and to get her to share her thoughts. Usually the best solution is to just talk.
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