marcusdevilliers Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 What do you consider to be a healthy relationship.? Its components what it consists of and the expectations in it.
Gloria25 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 For me it's simple... Components: -Trust. -Being 'at ease'. -Smooth. -Communication. Expectations: I expect my SO to have dealt with their demons. I expect communication. I expect common goals. I expect us to "grow together" instead of "grow apart". Like a month ago I was at some friends and they were talking about their divorces, RLs, etc. There was no "trust" cuz people were marrying under false pretenses. Claiming that they were living a "lie". Wanting to cheat. There was no "ease", cuz they felt they had to "watch their SO's back". I could not live like that. I don't have to have my alarm on to see on camera if you brought someone home or not. How can people live like that? I'm not living my life on eggshells. There was no real "communication", cuz how are you gonna have two kids with someone and then wake up one day and have a sex change more than a decade into our marriage? Why not tell me who you were before I had kids with you? There was manipulations and games. One couple thought it was "cute" to reminisce how she used to make her now husband jump through hoops to see her. I don't think that's funny or cute. Relationships should be "smooth"...you shouldn't have to jump through hoops and/or put someone through hoops. So, hope that sums it up. Our SO is supposed to come where we get solace and support. We are a "team". It's "us" against the world. If I have to watch my back and am never at ease with my SO, then I rather be alone. No Jerry Springer drama in my life, thank you. 3
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Two people who enjoy each others company, who can laugh together & cry together. They are comfortable in every situation & draw comfort & strength from each other. Even though the other may do something different, they support each other. They don't have real secrets. There is TRUST and playfulness. They are kind to one another. 3
Odinani Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 a guy who doesn't send loads of emojis every freakin day It's a bonus if he doesn't have Stage 5 Clinger tendencies either
Male Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 For me it's simple... I expect communication. How about when dating first starts? Most women do not want direct communication....most women want everything to be kind of blurry, to give them wiggle room, and room for excuses if need be. Most women like to dance around and "act" busy, or in your own words...pretend they arent as interested as they really are. Why is true communication only expected down the road once the relationship blooms, I think many traits need to be alive and well much earlier in the dating process as well. One couple thought it was "cute" to reminisce how she used to make her now husband jump through hoops to see her. I don't think that's funny or cute. Relationships should be "smooth"...you shouldn't have to jump through hoops and/or put someone through hoops. You better watch what you say....according to KATIEGRL..... Male, there is NO way on God's green earth that a woman who is truly interested in you is going to risk losing you by playing "hard to get." No friggin way!
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 How about when dating first starts? Most women do not want direct communication....most women want everything to be kind of blurry, to give them wiggle room, and room for excuses if need be. Most women like to dance around and "act" busy, or in your own words...pretend they arent as interested as they really are. Why is true communication only expected down the road once the relationship blooms, I think many traits need to be alive and well much earlier in the dating process as well.... Early communication is not the same as revealing all your secrets but it is being direct & clear. It involves setting a date & time for a date; it involves expressing your likes & dislikes. For example I love a good glass of wine but DH is a beer guy. I hate & will not patronize dive bars so in the beginning if I always tried to schedule a date in a snooty, girly wine bar I would expect him to pipe up & say hey can we go over here instead because I would like a better beer? Similarly, I would not compromise my comfort by agreeing to go to a dive bar no matter how much I liked him. That's the kind of initial communication that is important. 6 months in I don't want to talk about every insecurity either of us may have but as we get closer, it's OK if a few of those gradually get revealed over time.
understand50 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Good, open honest communication at all times. Depending on the type and where you are in the relationship, no secrets. I do not mean you need to go in to chapter and verse on your past, but any highlights (DUI, any children, past marriage LTR, Jail time, drug use, sexual issues, so fourth) that may cause issues with what we are trying to build, should be known as you go to each step. Meeting, dating, intimate relations, Marriage. At my age, any woman I meet would have a "past", and rightly so. Too many people, try to just bury things, then get involved, and it comes out. Be open with each other, discuss how you lead and want to lead your life. If my wife was gone, and I was looking, I would consider a woman with a "past" as long as she was open and honest on what it was, and I felt she could have a good marriage/relationship with me. A woman, telling me "I did this....." or " I was into that.....", shows much more integrity then it coming out later, and I would feel I was tricked if she had not been open with me. I want to be given a choice, not have it taken. This standard would hold for me as well. Love, is about the future, and that is what I would be interested in, and consider. My two cents.......
No Limit Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Everything Gloria wrote. Gonna repeat trust a couple more times though - TRUST, TRUST, TRUST. A single step out of line, doesn't matter whether it's constant lying/being shady or cheating, and the pure form of it is lost forever. Don't risk that folks.
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