Kylemopar Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Okay so this girl I like (who I don't know too well) works with me. I asked her out one day which she said yes to, and got her number. I asked her where she would like to go and she texts me that the day we chose might not work for her and that she just wants to let me know when she's able to. So I asked her at work if she would like to reschedule or if she's still interested and she said that she just got out of a relationship and says that she's not interested in going out with anyone that she kind of wants to focus on herself. So what do I do?
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 she's not interested in going out with anyone that she kind of wants to focus on herself. So what do I do? Let her. (Give her space) 1
introverted1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Okay so this girl I like (who I don't know too well) works with me. I asked her out one day which she said yes to, and got her number. I asked her where she would like to go and she texts me that the day we chose might not work for her and that she just wants to let me know when she's able to. So I asked her at work if she would like to reschedule or if she's still interested and she said that she just got out of a relationship and says that she's not interested in going out with anyone that she kind of wants to focus on herself. So what do I do? Nothing. She's either not interested in you as more than a friend or she needs time to process the end of her previous R so she can be in a healthy place emotionally before starting a new one. Either way, there is nothing for you to do. She knows you are interested and if/when she is ready, she will reach out to you. In the meantime, find others to date.
Author Kylemopar Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 Well why would she give me her number and accept my invitation?
introverted1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Well why would she give me her number and accept my invitation? Who knows? Maybe she thought it would be a good idea and then reconsidered. Maybe she felt awkward saying no so she accepted and then cancelled later. It doesn't matter, really. I know there is a tendency to obsess over the "whys" and the various signs that seemed to point to interest, but the bottom line is that she cancelled and declined to set a new date. That's the relevant bit. 1
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Well why would she give me her number and accept my invitation? She did it, then she reconsidered. She doesn't want to now. *Don't make it complicated*
Author Kylemopar Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 Well she works 3 jobs if that matters. I asked her today at work if we can reschedule and she said that she'll let me know.
Author Kylemopar Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 I asked her out one day and the next day she gave me her number, she cancelled the day after that. How can someone reconsider in a single day without hearing from that person yet?
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) I asked her today at work if we can reschedule and she said that she'll let me know. Reading this made me do two things: 1. Head goes into palm with head shaking no. 2. I laugh hysterically. She'll let you know the same thing soon. Edited November 21, 2015 by Ic1 typo
introverted1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Well she works 3 jobs if that matters. I asked her today at work if we can reschedule and she said that she'll let me know. Ok, so twice she has told you that she will contact you when/if she is interested in going out. I asked her out one day and the next day she gave me her number, she cancelled the day after that. How can someone reconsider in a single day without hearing from that person yet? Ugh. Look, she may have accepted b/c she doesn't know how to say no in a face-to-face situation. Maybe she thought it would be easier to say yes and then cancel. You are treating this as though she agreed to marry you and then sent you a text saying, never mind. She's allowed to change her mind! Let it go.
Author Kylemopar Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 Why can't girls just be real and straight up? why can't they just say no and avoid any confusion from the guy. I asked her to be real with me and that's when she told me that she just got out of a relationship and didn't want to go out with anyone. So if that's how she felt then why did she give me her number?
Author Kylemopar Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 Well we flirted for a bit and she let asking me about myself the day that I asked her, she seemed really into it. She even gave me her number. Like why do that if you're just gonna bail? What was she trying to prove? She knows damn well that I will see her again.
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Well we flirted for a bit and she let asking me about myself the day that I asked her, she seemed really into it. She even gave me her number. Like why do that if you're just gonna bail? What was she trying to prove? She knows damn well that I will see her again. This could be why she changed her mind. You're aggressive and wouldn't be a good relationship to invest in, even if she was over the last one.
lolablue17 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 You have too options: 1. Do what all the others advised you, to let her go and that's it. (good advice) 2. To try again, but you won't get anything by being so pussy and be so gentle and soft with her. Wait for a week or so, and then give her a note in which you give her date, time and place that you chose to go out with her. Tell her (as a half joke) that since she can't be relied on to make the date happen, you must take over so she better just obey and do as she's told. Even if she still refuses, she will like it.
Qboro90 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Well we flirted for a bit and she let asking me about myself the day that I asked her, she seemed really into it. She even gave me her number. Like why do that if you're just gonna bail? What was she trying to prove? She knows damn well that I will see her again. Sucks but honestly sometimes there's no rhyme or reason to it and it makes absolutely no sense and seems like they're just fooling with you. My guess here is that she might've flirted with you back and forth a bit and said yes initially, but then once you were showing that you were definitely going to follow through with it and most likely showed you had a crush on her... She may have re considered and thought that getting into dating with someone at work isn't the best idea. Or maybe she's the kind of person who doesn't know how to turn people down or say no and just hopes it fizzles out and doesn't come to fruition so she's off the hook. A lot of girls and guys for that matter feel bad about saying no or turning someone down for a date so they'll yes you to death until it's time to set details and go through with it. That's when they're forced to address the elephant in the room they avoided. Don't harp on it. I actually think you still may have a shot if you are capable of playing it cool. Not doting over her and visibly showing her that your dying to take her out. But also don't pout and change your behavior around her. Just act as if nothing happened and continue playing around with her (but don't make her your entire life and focus at work either). And then she'll eventually be like "hey how come we never rescheduled that date you were gonna take me on?" That's when you can hit her with "pshhh please.... I learned my lesson with you Miss Flakey Flip Flopper last time... U want another shot? Then how you gonna make it up to me?" ... Then the tables are turned. Or it's possible she will never be interested in you as well. Don't stress over it.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 You do nothing but leave her alone now. She's now made it clear it's not going to happen. On to the next, OP.
Author Kylemopar Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 Well I texted her telling her that I understand that moving on from a past relationship is hard so its okay and she sent me this. "And thanks I appreciate your sweet words. I'll let you know if I decide that we should hang out ok as of now don't worry I am completely fine and over my past relationship. I didn't say it as an excuse to not go out. I just mentioned it because u said I'm single "still" but I just became single recently. So yea. No worries, not mad at you or anything. Hope you have a safe trip today."
Author Kylemopar Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 Well she has told me that she's quitting two of her jobs, that includes the one I work with her in. She already put in her two weeks. It's kind of hard for me to 'go on to the next' because there really is no next to go to. I only work and get home like at 8pm so I get home tired to not want to go out. I'm not in a setting where meeting pretty girls is easy.
Erik30 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Well I texted her telling her that I understand that moving on from a past relationship is hard so its okay and she sent me this. "And thanks I appreciate your sweet words. I'll let you know if I decide that we should hang out ok as of now don't worry I am completely fine and over my past relationship. I didn't say it as an excuse to not go out. I just mentioned it because u said I'm single "still" but I just became single recently. So yea. No worries, not mad at you or anything. Hope you have a safe trip today." Notice she said "if" she decides you two should hang out, instead of using when. I think you caught her off guard when you asked her out in person, so she gave you her number. She probably changed her mind, or just didn't want to reject you directly. But if she really wants to go out with you, she knows how to reach you. I wouldn't wait for her though. Best to move on
Glitters Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 What's so special about this girl ? She is pretty ? Is that all?
basil67 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Why can't girls just be real and straight up? why can't they just say no and avoid any confusion from the guy. I asked her to be real with me and that's when she told me that she just got out of a relationship and didn't want to go out with anyone. So if that's how she felt then why did she give me her number? I agree with the poster who said that you caught her off guard. I remember when this one guy asked me out. His approach was fairly aggressive and while I was figuring out how to say 'no' politely, he was making plans. I did go out with him, but it was very awkward and from the moment I left home, I had no intention of seeing him again. Thing is, many of us find that saying "no" isn't easy and we have to learn to how to do it. At least this girl was upfront enough to cancel you before you spend any money on dating you.
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