CreativeZen Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I have been with my current girlfriend (both in our mid twenties) for over two years now, however, we have gone on a 'break' for until February as she had to move to the other side of the country for work and we both had some issues in the past. We thought it would be good for us to have some time for ourselves, and figure out what we want to do, but still to remain in contact. We would tell each other if we at any moment decided to not continue on with our relationship, and we wanted to stay faithful to each other. It was really meant as a time to pursue other interests alone and figure out if we were happier alone, or still wanted to be with one another. We decided to both see where we were after she returned, if we wanted to rekindle what we had/have, just be friends or go NC. I have not really looked around or anything, since I was too busy with my studies. Also did a lot of introspection, and came to the conclusion that my girlfriend and I are vastly different in a lot of respects. I am a bit of a geek, she loves to shop. I am a "I'm happy if I have what I need" kind of guy, while she is a more material person. I love being alone from time to time, she definitely cannot be alone for too long. Not saying those differences are bad, since I think we learn from each other because we are so different, but sometimes it can create issues on what we should do on a given night, or on more serious topics such as where our life is headed. We both have agreed though that we want to be successful as possible, and help each other work to get there. I think there is no I have ever met that makes me want to be a better person, since she always expects the highest from me, something I have missed in my life. I was leaning to staying with my girlfriend when she came back. However, by chance I stumbled upon a new girl. And it has been amazing. We are very much alike (more so than my girlfriend and I) and brightens up my life in many ways, something that has been gone aside from some moments with my girlfriend. I am now in dubio on what to do. Whilst I really like this new girl, since we have such strong chemistry, and such comparative lifegoals and morals, but I still love my girlfriend. I do not want to throw it all away, just because I met this new girl who might end up being the best thing that ever happened to me, but could perhaps also just be a short-lived rush of excitement. The start of things is always (or at least, should be) amazing. But I do not want to miss out on this new girl, for a relationship which I have had some doubts about. It doesn't help that my girlfriend and I re pretty entrenched in each other's lives, sharing bank accounts, share rent for our apartment, a lot of our stuff would need to be split up, etc. This should not be a big factor though, but it's something that makes me less inclined to give it up. It would pretty much destroy the (limited) foundation I was based on. The best (for me) and selfish thing would be is to just pursue things with this new girl and see where things would go, and keep everyone in the dark, but that's unfair for both. So I want to come to a decision relatively soon. So any advice on what I could/should do here? I have had some crushes before whilst in my relationship, but I never had any real inclination on acting on it, since I thought about it and realized we were never that compatible anyway. With this girl I feel we connect on a deeper level...but maybe that's my heart playing tricks on me?
d0nnivain Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 This is one of the myriad of reasons why breaks cause more problems then they fix. If you genuinely want to pursue this new girl tell your EX that you prefer to make the break permanent. If you prefer not to lose your relationship with your GF, tell her you want this break to end & you want to work on deepening your relationship together. If she won't do that, know she's not as serious about you as you are. 1
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