barbossa Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Assume 1) You have a friend of the opposite gender, and there is mutual degree of attraction. don't want to date but are fine with a FWB arrangement. you like each other as friends, its already easy to spend time with them, no need to settle, you can do your own thing and see each other when convenient Why wouldn't a FWB situation work for you?
JustGettingBy Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I develop feelings too quickly, even without sex. 5
mike_89 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Well, FWB works fine for me IF I start off being FWB. I won't usually turn an existing friendship into FWB because I'm only friends with a girl if I'm not sexually interested in her in the first place. 2
xxoo Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Assume 1) You have a friend of the opposite gender, and there is mutual degree of attraction. don't want to date but are fine with a FWB arrangement. you like each other as friends, its already easy to spend time with them, no need to settle, you can do your own thing and see each other when convenient Why wouldn't a FWB situation work for you? If I like someone as a friend and am attracted to them, why wouldn't I want to date them? The reasons would most likely be "cerebral" reasons why we shouldn't date. But my heart wouldn't care about those cerebral reasons, and I'd probably end up falling for someone completely inappropriate--esp if the sexual connection is strong (and if it isn't...then no reason to be FWB anyway). 6
central Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Every FWB situation I've been in so far has worked for me and for her. So, why wouldn't I get in one with a particular person? There are several possible reasons: 1. if I think the friendship would end once the benefits ended - as they would eventually - and I value the friendship 2. I think that it would be a bad choice for her; perhaps I think she'd develop unreciprocated feelings, or entering a FWB with me might prevent her from pursuing a romantic relationship that would make her happier 3. doing so would place restrictions on me that I don't want 4. or like Pogo said, I think she'd be bad in bed!
frustr8ed Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I'm involved in one right now and am starting to hate it. At times I find myself a little jealous of her being with other guys and I have no right to. I find it really unfulfilling as well. The last time we had sex I wasn't really into it and was asking myself "wtf am I doing here." I think I'm just a relationship guy, and she is not ready for one in general or just with me. 3
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I could never. My sexual feelings come included with other feelings. I guess I could understand having a ONS easier, that could be a reaction to some immediate attraction, but if I liked a guy enough to have regular sex with him I would be in a relationship with him!! 6
paigej91 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Because in the end (and in the midst of it), I feel so used and more alone than before. 1
Fuerza Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I couldn't do it either. I'm someone that develops feelings way too fast too and I'd just feel used and empty because of it. I'm talking with someone now who's the type of guy that's not into relationships and he actually says that friends with benefits work as long as you're really clear about the rules. I personally don't think it's that easy. 1
Poutrew Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 FWBs don't work for me. Boiled down to one word as to why: Hygiene. There is no exclusivity with a FWB. If she is FWB to me, there is no reason to assume I am the only one, nor do I have any rights or expectations to be her only FWB ( nor she mine ). I don't want to park my car in a shared garage , and if she is the kind of girl who doesn't mind sharing the car with others, then she isn't goanna cut it with me...
Buddhist Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) Because I don't do sex without emotional attachment and I'm just fine not having sex. The cost to me of engaging in a sex act with someone who doesn't want me as a relationship partner is too high for the very low gain I would receive (ie, some fleeting sensations that I don't really care that much about because it lacks emotional connection). YMMV. And I'm not typically friends with people I'm sexually attracted to. If I don't get a shot at relationship with them I tend not to want them in my life otherwise either. My heart has to be free to seek someone who feels the same. Edited November 21, 2015 by Buddhist 2
StBreton Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I'm involved in one right now and am starting to hate it. At times I find myself a little jealous of her being with other guys and I have no right to. I find it really unfulfilling as well. The last time we had sex I wasn't really into it and was asking myself "wtf am I doing here." I think I'm just a relationship guy, and she is not ready for one in general or just with me. I'm with you...I'm a "relationship girl" and have to talk myself through the times I'm not in a relationship ... it's not easy going without:(
kendahke Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Assume 1) You have a friend of the opposite gender, and there is mutual degree of attraction. don't want to date but are fine with a FWB arrangement. you like each other as friends, its already easy to spend time with them, no need to settle, you can do your own thing and see each other when convenient Why wouldn't a FWB situation work for you? because I don't screw my friends. 5
Author barbossa Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 because I don't screw my friends. i had a fwb once, i loved it she was hella chill but super hot, i always had a boner with her, but she had a bad break up and never wanted to date she moved back home is how i lost her.
kendahke Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) and maybe how my friends look has nothing to do with me not wanting to screw them. They are my friends. I don't screw my friends. I find it interesting that you ask a question to the community, I answer it (my answer having nothing to do with how you want to proceed with your friends) and now, you spit on my friends' appearances. Edited November 21, 2015 by kendahke 3
Maggie4 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Because sex is intimate. I can't do it without feelings. It's like if someone asked me "why wouldn't casual sex/one night stands work for you?" Yeah call me a prude. 2
Robratory Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 and maybe how my friends look has nothing to do with me not wanting to screw them. They are my friends. I don't screw my friends. I find it interesting that you ask a question to the community, I answer it (my answer having nothing to do with how you want to proceed with your friends) and now, you spit on my friends' appearances. Oh, it didn't come across that way to me. He just remarked that he found the woman in question very attractive. It was not about your friends.
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I wouldn't want to risk losing a friend. FWB is inevitably destined to complications.
Woggle Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 The one time I tried it she got too attached. In the unlikely event I ever end up single again finding a FWB that doesn't get attached would be the ideal.
casey.lives Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I can't be a friends with benefits because im a traditionalist and because im high maintenance .. it takes a patient trying guy to love me and be rewarded 1
LostOnes05 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I only have sex in a relationship and I don't consider FWB an actual relationship. 2
xxoo Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 because I don't screw my friends. There's wisdom in that, especially when talking about true friends. What's going to happen when you meet the love of your life and they find out that your core group of friends include people you've screwed? Can get tricky. Not impossible to overcome, but tricky. But I think when people mean FWB, they don't typically mean that kind of friend. Maybe more of a peripheral friend, not someone you expect to have in your wedding party. 1
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