Is this poem true?

[sly_fly1]

Worst poem I've ever read, second.. What they hell are you even trying to get at. If your a virgin. Then go pay for a hooker. Who cares if you didn't get laid young. Get out there and use your magic stick. If you got a small dick then buy a strap on. Or be gay. Look. No ones perfect in bed but if you try a woman will get off on your effort. Good luck

[loverage21]

i am not fan of reading others ideals or fancies and taking them on as my own.....i follow what i feel in my heart, and if i feel it strongly enough that to me is truth......

 

as far as love goes....love is what you give....not what you take or expect to happen......i want you to feel this question below and not base your answer on what roostah wrote but feel it yourself.....

 

 

the greatest love stories ever written and even true love stories..or poems or sonnets....were not written in teenage years or even about teenage love..........why is that ?..

 

you knwo when i think about my teenage years the times i loved the most was when i felt pure happiness.... innocence.....had nothing to do with love of a guy...it was fishing with my grandfather on a wharf..him batiing my hook with deft fingers.......sitting with him on his concrete bench near the water listening to the wisdom so freely given the time he had for me ...because he loved me.....

 

purity in innocence......my first school camp i was ever allowed to go on was when i was fifteen.....i have a snap shot memory of me in the creek knee deep in clear cool water.......looking at dappled sunlight through green leaves that lined the banks feeling smooth stones beneath my feet..admiring the colors ...russet,steel blue, burnt orange hues of earthy browns...hearing the babble sound of water, hearing cicadas clicking, feeling the hot sun and the cool water in unison..that is a fond memory i have....i felt free.....and i felt like me.......at the time i dont feel i was really thinking anything.....just enjoying that moment in time.....can that moment be replicated...no....it cant..not that exact moment.....but it can be remembered for what it was...it was pure...it was free...and i was in love....with life......

 

 

can i have that again....for sure....i know where to find those rocks...see those trees feel cool clear water......and as an adult...i dont need my mums permission to go there.....i dont need consent of another...simply my own two feet my knowledge that i have and a smile on my face when i remember what it felt like............yes.....purity can be felt again......and considering that poem was about sex in your opening post and not what i consdier sensual or making love.......i dont consider that to to be pure or innocent or delightful..... thought......in fact of certain teen years it is illegal to have sex...for good reason.....deb

 

So you don't agree with this statement:

 

"Women around their 20-24 range can still love you but it just won't be fully based on them liking you for you but your material possessions like your car, house/apartment partially. Men around this time period seem to be playing the field. As u move into your 25-30's many people are looking for someone they like yes, but they are willing to compromise.

 

The idea of steamy, passionate, head over heel relationship for something more pragmatic.

 

The most intense feeling of love in which both parties love one another for each other alone will only be felt when they are in their teens."

 

He also included research on dopamine levels. Starting at young adult age dopamine decreases by 10 percent each decade. Dopamine plays a major part in love.

Edited November 23, 2015 by loverage21

[Robert Z]

Neither you nor Robert Z are missing these women because you wanted these women. You want/wanted these women for how they made you "feel".

 

You haven't a clue. Why would you think you know anything about my feelings? I have gone on for pages and pages as to why she is so amazing, and you all just live in denial because you think you know the hearts of men better than men do.

Edited November 23, 2015 by Robert Z

[lollipopspot]

So you don't agree with this statement:

 

"Women around their 20-24 range can still love you but it just won't be fully based on them liking you for you but your material possessions like your car, house/apartment partially. Men around this time period seem to be playing the field. As u move into your 25-30's many people are looking for someone they like yes, but they are willing to compromise.

 

The idea of steamy, passionate, head over heel relationship for something more pragmatic.

 

The most intense feeling of love in which both parties love one another for each other alone will only be felt when they are in their teens."

 

I think that's way too broad of a brush about ages and stages of life and what people want. Also, if you find a woman who has her own material possessions and way of procuring them, or who isn't materialistic, then the fear of the "gold digger" will not be an issue. I have never been concerned about material things, probably to my detriment in life. A starving artist has always had an equal chance with me as a multi millionaire. I'm not a pragmatic person though.

[loverage21]

I think that's way too broad of a brush about ages and stages of life and what people want. Also, if you find a woman who has her own material possessions and way of procuring them, or who isn't materialistic, then the fear of the "gold digger" will not be an issue. I have never been concerned about material things, probably to my detriment in life. A starving artist has always had an equal chance with me as a multi millionaire. I'm not a pragmatic person though.

 

Do you think most adults do look at it in a more practical way than a "magical" sense?

[lollipopspot]

Do you think most adults do look at it in a more practical way than a "magical" sense?

 

Well, I think it's a lot more nuanced than you make it. Attraction is generally based on more than one thing (i.e. security or looks or whatever). I think there are plenty of women who are not particularly pragmatic about their guy's prospects. There are many who are, sure, but not all by a long shot.

 

Because of that poem though, and the wistfulness about a "young, tight, hot bodied" female and taking her virginity, I wonder if you really go into potential relationships or look at potential partners in a "magical" way rather than that they ought to fit this certain rigid criteria? I mean, can you find something magical with an older lady, or a fatter lady, or a lady who herself never had that teenage experience because she was too awkward or whatever to find that? Like others have said, you seem to be attaching this sense of wonder to this one experience, rather than seeing the possibility of finding it in many areas of life.

[loverage21]

Well, I think it's a lot more nuanced than you make it. Attraction is generally based on more than one thing (i.e. security or looks or whatever). I think there are plenty of women who are not particularly pragmatic about their guy's prospects. There are many who are, sure, but not all by a long shot.

 

Because of that poem though, and the wistfulness about a "young, tight, hot bodied" female and taking her virginity, I wonder if you really go into potential relationships or look at potential partners in a "magical" way rather than that they ought to fit this certain rigid criteria? I mean, can you find something magical with an older lady, or a fatter lady, or a lady who herself never had that teenage experience because she was too awkward or whatever to find that? Like others have said, you seem to be attaching this sense of wonder to this one experience, rather than seeing the possibility of finding it in many areas of life.

 

I didn't write that poem. In fact, I got it off someone else.

 

I look at relationships in a more idealistic, romantic way. Yet, I have never had a gf and never truly had my heart broken.

 

Here is a poem I wrote a girl I crushed on (and still do sort of crush on) like mad:

 

"

I write this song to you

To tell you how I feel

Because the pain in my heart

Is way too damn real

 

Alexa

Your eyes, your smile

Everything about you is worthwhile

 

Your beautiful

Something I can't quite express

Knowing your taken

Has left me in a mess

 

I want to win your heart

Something I wish I could of done from the start

 

But instead some guy swept you off your feet

It is a feeling of defeat

 

Because Alexa,

Your eyes, your smile

Everything about you is worthwhile

 

To know you are taken

Has left my heart achen

But I still want you

 

Your the girl I can't have

The one that got away.

But in my heart you still stay.

 

Who knows what the future holds

In God's hands, one's life he molds

But I can stay afloat

In this life that is like a boat

One that takes you afar to new places

Where you always meet new faces

 

But you still hold that place in my heart

A heart that feels struck with a pointed dart

But I know this isn't the end

That someday, we might meet again.

"

 

It kills me to no end to know she was serious with a guy for over 2 years in high school.

 

That she may never love the same way again.

 

It haunts me. To know most girls I will encounter from now on will have a past like that.

 

I wish I could of been the guy she was with. To give her those sweet memories.

 

I met her a little too late. By this time, she already had her heart broke before. She was with a guy for 2 years.

Edited November 23, 2015 by loverage21

[todreaminblue]

sweet poem that you wrote to alexa very touching....

 

 

here's a classic poem for you that answers your feelings of lost love or lost chances by a truly gifted man who i believe understood and felt love

 

 

I envy not in any moods

The captive void of noble rage,

The linnet born within the cage,

That never knew the summer woods;

 

I envy not the beast that takes

His license in the field of time,

Unfetter’d by the sense of crime,

To whom a conscience never wakes;

 

Nor, what may count itself as blest,

The heart that never plighted troth

But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;

Nor any want-begotten rest.

 

I hold it true, whate’er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

‘T is better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

three aspects stand out to me

 

i envy not in any moods........the linnet borne within the cage, that never knew the summer woods.....what do you feel this means

 

 

and I feel it when i sorrow most.....tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...what does that mean to you

 

thsi is what i believe

love has heartbreak in many cases.....love is never a safe road smooth or just joy and laughter....but is littered and craggy with potholes and dead ends......navigating that road is a lead to loves destination which for me means an eternal love.......made even more special for all the mistakes or failures or hard times or sorrow and tears.....you cant know how its going to happen ...you have to live it first...deb..and as tennyson was inspired to write i truly do believe

 

 

tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

...... Edited November 23, 2015 by todreaminblue

[loverage21]

sweet poem that you wrote to alexa very touching....

 

 

here's a classic poem for you that answers your feelings of lost love or lost chances by a truly gifted man who i believe understood and felt love

 

 

 

Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

three aspects stand out to me

 

i envy not in any moods........the linnet borne within the cage, that never knew the summer woods.....what do you feel this means

 

 

and I feel it when i sorrow most.....tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...what does that mean to you

 

thsi is what i believe

love has heartbreak in many cases.....love is never a safe road smooth or just joy and laughter....but is littered and craggy with potholes and dead ends......navigating that road is a lead to loves destination which for me means an eternal love.......made even more special for all the mistakes or failures or hard times or sorrow and tears.....you cant know how its going to happen ...you have to live it first...deb..and as tennyson was inspired to write i truly do believe

 

 

......

 

She is not necessarily a lost love. I met her at a college she attends and I went on a few dates with her and found out she was with a guy for 2 years back when she was in high school and it just tore me apart.

[todreaminblue]

She is not necessarily a lost love. I met her at a college she attends and I went on a few dates with her and found out she was with a guy for 2 years back when she was in high school and it just tore me apart.

 

not just a lost love a lost unrequited love.....to feel love is actually a gift......its a luxury we were given......to feel anything at all.....and one thing i know is if you havent felt true sorrow and loss...you cannot know happiness and gain......you wouldnt appreciate it.....its like that quote too....is a true friend is someone who has been alone with no friends.....love is borne out of appreciation of anothers presence.....if you have known the sorrow of being without that persons presence then you can know love with another...if you have had true sadness you can know true joy......the hardest part is believing that.....with everything in life including love there is a balance and a reason for being.....a lesson to be learned or taught.....there's the grace of god in every particle of life on earth..there is no pure love other than the love fo god...humanity is imperfect.for a reason also....so that we can learn and progress.......and everything that was created was borne out of a certain love......

 

when i am torn apart or heart broken or unsure that i deserve to have that love i know about.....i think about how small i really i am in the scheme of things...how massive a design is that has been created down to every last ripple in the ocean......and even though i am really small .......i count.....i also think of how blessed i really am to exist at all......

 

there are babies born that will die before they ever get the chance to feel love to know love to grow to learn.....i have had that chance given to me......and i am nto going to waste it......

 

neither should you......stop thinking of what could have been ....and see what you have right now.....is a chance at possibility...a chance to have that pure love you desire...because you can have that...doesnt have to be a first...could be sweeter than you have ever really dreamt of..........and that is more than some will ever get...

 

stagnates in the weeds of sloth

...if you want love you cant be lazy or lukewarm about it..you have to be passionate and desire love.......you have to have faith and believe in it.....you have to be willing to take risks of heartache and be ready to go for it and relish the fact you can feel love for another....as i said its a gift.....sadly i think you wont try ...because you are stuck in a cage of yesterday.....i wish you well and hope you prove me wrong.......deb Edited November 23, 2015 by todreaminblue

[loverage21]

not just a lost love a lost unrequited love.....to feel love is actually a gift......its a luxury we were given......to feel anything at all.....and one thing i know is if you havent felt true sorrow and loss...you cannot know happiness and gain......you wouldnt appreciate it.....its like that quote too....is a true friend is someone who has been alone with no friends.....love is borne out of appreciation of anothers presence.....if you have known the sorrow of being without that persons presence then you can know love with another...if you have had true sadness you can know true joy......the hardest part is believing that.....with everything in life including love there is a balance and a reason for being.....a lesson to be learned or taught.....there's the grace of god in every particle of life on earth..there is no pure love other than the love fo god...humanity is imperfect.for a reason also....so that we can learn and progress.......and everything that was created was borne out of a certain love......

 

when i am torn apart or heart broken or unsure that i deserve to have that love i know about.....i think about how small i really i am in the scheme of things...how massive a design is that has been created down to every last ripple in the ocean......and even though i am really small .......i count.....i also think of how blessed i really am to exist at all......

 

there are babies born that will die before they ever get the chance to feel love to know love to grow to learn.....i have had that chance given to me......and i am nto going to waste it......

 

neither should you......stop thinking of what could have been ....and see what you have right now.....is a chance at possibility...a chance to have that pure love you desire...because you can have that...doesnt have to be a first...could be sweeter than you have ever really dreamt of..........and that is more than some will ever get...

 

...if you want love you cant be lazy or lukewarm about it..you have to be passionate and desire love.......you have to have faith and believe in it.....you have to be willing to take risks of heartache and be ready to go for it and relish the fact you can feel love for another....as i said its a gift.....sadly i think you wont try ...because you are stuck in a cage of yesterday.....i wish you well and hope you prove me wrong.......deb

 

I dont understand a word you said. With me, everything is best in simplified laymans terms

[todreaminblue]

I dont understand a word you said. With me, everything is best in simplified laymans terms

 

just maybe thats your problem...you want things simplified when the work that needs to be done is your work not the person trying to help you but you trying to learn yourself your effort to understand to comprehend your feelings about things your heart to follow,to discern what is right and true for you...not for others..... does that make sense......

 

 

i have read some of your other threads...and i can say that you do need help....maybe more than what is written by people on the internet.....you have suicidal thoughts......deb

 

add on this

 

 

you work as an ambulance person.....you see heartbreak and love lost everyday...yet you have no love of life yourself...you think of ending your own life........you see the fragility of the human body and the fragility and torment of people who could possibly lose a loved one every day you attend an accident or medical emergency....and say there is no purity other than teen love....do you see a problem or blindness to the way you are thinking....and i know you understand what i mean ....you have intellect to do the job you do...so answer this question i gave you....as you failed to answer any of the others i asked...do you think you should see someone soon to deal with the fact you dotn want to live...rather than asking about love of another.....what about purely the love you have for yourself and your own life..deb

Edited November 24, 2015 by todreaminblue

[loverage21]

just maybe thats your problem...you want things simplified when the work that needs to be done is your work not the person trying to help you but you trying to learn yourself your effort to understand to comprehend your feelings about things your heart to follow,to discern what is right and true for you...not for others..... does that make sense......

 

 

i have read some of your other threads...and i can say that you do need help....maybe more than what is written by people on the internet.....you have suicidal thoughts......deb

 

add on this

 

 

you work as an ambulance person.....you see heartbreak and love lost everyday...yet you have no love of life yourself...you think of ending your own life........you see the fragility of the human body and the fragility and torment of people who could possibly lose a loved one every day you attend an accident or medical emergency....and say there is no purity other than teen love....do you see a problem or blindness to the way you are thinking....and i know you understand what i mean ....you have intellect to do the job you do...so answer this question i gave you....as you failed to answer any of the others i asked...do you think you should see someone soon to deal with the fact you dotn want to live...rather than asking about love of another.....what about purely the love you have for yourself and your own life..deb

 

It is easy to have empathy and understanding for someone who has loved for the first time in youth and lost. But for those who have never been able to be a girls first love, to share that magicalness with each other, it is hard for those who have had that so understand those who have not.

[todreaminblue]

It is easy to have empathy and understanding for someone who has loved for the first time in youth and lost. But for those who have never been able to be a girls first love, to share that magicalness with each other, it is hard for those who have had that so understand those who have not.

 

you quote adele and her lyrics in your other thread.....adele...for example ...lost in love....do you think the guy who is now with her cares one iota that he is not her first...when the music she makes is so damn beautiful not to mention adele herself...gorgeous inside and out.....you are stuck where you shouldnt be....in regret ...that doesnt help depression and i know depression......i dont think any guy i was with would want to have been my first...he would have to for starters have sex with a five year old girl.....

 

i think what is something to think about is to be not a girls first...but a

woman's

last love......which in all reality...is the most important love.....yeah...some guys have all the luck huh marry their virgin highschool sweethearts.....get to a girl first.....some guy might even do it one better and go for a five year old...luckily real men.....dont think of getting to a girl first....being that first sexual encounter..........but love who they are with for who they are...not who they have had sex with..........dont worry about who has loved someone before.......be the person that makes all the difference to someone now..if you do that......all that came before fades into non importance...

 

 

get help for your depression...please...........deb

Edited November 24, 2015 by todreaminblue

[loverage21]

you quote adele and her lyrics in your other thread.....adele...for example ...lost in love....do you think the guy who is now with her cares one iota that he is not her first...when the music she makes is so damn beautiful not to mention adele herself...gorgeous inside and out.....you are stuck where you shouldnt be....in regret ...that doesnt help depression and i know depression......i dont think any guy i was with would want to have been my first...he would have to for starters have sex with a five year old girl.....

 

i think what is something to think about is to be not a girls first...but a last love......which in all reality...is the most important love.....yeah...some guys have all the luck huh marry their virgin highschool sweethearts.....get to a girl first.....some guy might even do it one better and go for a five year old...luckily real men.....dont think of getting to a girl first....being that first sexual encounter..........but love who they are with for who they are...not who they have had sex with..........dont worry about who has loved someone before.......be the person that makes all the difference to someone now..if you do that......all that came before fades into non importance...

 

 

get help for your depression...please...........deb

 

But that is the thing. You can never guarentee to be someone's last. Although a first will ALWAYS be a first.

 

It is not a coincidence that vast majority will agree you never forget your first. That there is nothing like the first no matter how things go.

[todreaminblue]

But that is the thing. You can never guarentee to be someone's last. Although a first will ALWAYS be a first.

 

It is not a coincidence that vast majority will agree you never forget your first. That there is nothing like the first no matter how things go.

 

no ill never forget my first.....you are right......but i am so glad.....he cant ever be my last......he controlled that first thing...but i never loved him......i never had that feeling of love.....and i have loved ......since him......loved unconditionally.....because i chose to love.......and i dont mean just guys...i mean my life and friends and family....most of all ....me.......

 

i cant change your mind but i do know ...that your heart needs healing....and maybe then your mind will be healed too...i am sending prayers up for you......because i am not getting through ...i wish that i could find exactly the right words to say to you and i have tried....i do feel with all honesty...you need to see a kind and compassionate professional in real life.........deb

Edited November 24, 2015 by todreaminblue

[loverage21]

no ill never forget my first.....you are right......but i am so glad.....he cant ever be my last......he controlled that first thing...but i never loved him......i never had that feeling of love.....and i have loved ......since him......loved unconditionally.....because i chose to love.......and i dont mean just guys...i mean my life and friends and family....most of all ....me.......

 

i cant change your mind but i do know ...that your heart needs healing....and maybe then your mind will be healed too...i am sending prayers up for you......because i am not getting through ...i wish that i could find exactly the right words to say to you and i have tried....i do feel with all honesty...you need to see a kind and compassionate professional in real life.........deb

 

So you tell me, what do you mean by "you never forget your first"?

[todreaminblue]

So you tell me, what do you mean by "you never forget your first"?

 

 

 

ill never forget ...that what happened was not love at all...simply put.....he wasnt my first love.....he had sex with me....

 

when i am with someone who loves me and with whom i love in return and intimate......i am there...in the moment...with them ......and they are the only love that matters.....deb

[loverage21]

ill never forget ...that what happened was not love at all...simply put.....he wasnt my first love.....he had sex with me....

 

when i am with someone who loves me and with whom i love in return and intimate......i am there...in the moment...with them ......and they are the only love that matters.....deb

 

 

Then look at this thread and tell me if you don't agree

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/553551-you-never-forget-your-first-love-what-does-mean-you

 

I'll give you another example too. I lost my virginity to this girl. But when I was kissing Taylor I tried to replicate the same techniques I used with Izzy because I remembered how steamy it was when I made out with Izzy so I wanted to implement the same with Taylor. So Izzy did come to my mind as I was making out with Taylor.

Edited November 24, 2015 by loverage21

[Gloria25]

It is easy to have empathy and understanding for someone who has loved for the first time in youth and lost. But for those who have never been able to be a girls first love, to share that magicalness with each other, it is hard for those who have had that so understand those who have not.

 

And I never had a "magical" first anything as a teenager either. Didn't even go to prom. Wasn't sure if I could walk across the stage at graduation cuz parents couldn't afford cap and gown. So they pooped on me working my butt off to graduate top 10% in the school, while my sisters never graduated high school and were busy leeching off of me with their "husbands" and rugrats.

 

Look, my "first" jump from an airplane was something I'll remember, cuz yea, it's the first time I did it and it is some seriously scary stuff. But my 3rd and 4th jump topped the first cuz I got tangled in the air, was screaming, but despite glasses and kevlar going airborne, I got myself and that parachute under control and landed like an angel. In other words while my first I'll remember, it pales in comparison with my 3rd jump.

 

If I'm reading your link correctly, you lost your virginity to a chick who quickly dumped you afterwards. I get it, it hurts that after making yourself vulnerable someone drops you like a hot pocket and you don't know why. You question if you're not good looking, sucked in the bedroom, smelled funny, etc....your confidence is shattered.

 

Maybe that's why you keep on revisiting this event and so want to recreate it.

 

Listen, I'm a woman going on my 40's who thought I was the next best thing. I got the body, my own stuff, am a sexy chick, etc. You know what I got passed over for? 1) A lazy and overweight girl who is manipulative and not that bright...not even sexy in the least; and, 2) A skinny dimwhitt who is so psycho she can't keep a man - even the father of her kids...who also is a little manipulative twit and drags her kids around every guy she meets in her desperate search for someone to babysit while she runs the street.

 

So oh yeah, my ego for sure took a hit. I seriously questioned if I was in bizzarro world. I still am shaken and quite frankly am having problems going out there in the dating world because of this. I mean, I've gotten the "you're out of my league" speech several times so I have to wonder am I aiming too low here or guys no longer have any standards.

 

Now these two chicks? They're not ugly, but not drop dead beauties either, so, with their lazy, psycho, and manipulative ways, I have to wonder "what is it" that I don't have that they do so I can work on it and make myself more "dateable".

 

Now, I can either sit here and keep reliving this rejection or I can take an honest look at the situation and myself - even get some professional help to see why I would place my value beneath a two loser chicks.

 

And, you must do the same...

 

This girl who rejected you, remember you both were teenagers. What are you or her gonna know about sex? Shoot even for experienced adults the first time isn't always fireworks, it can be awkward and even horrible.

 

But a teenager isn't gonna know any better. Also, how do you not know that it wasn't about you or the sex. She could have had reservations about "doing it" and felt ashamed. So like me and this guy that I wasted a year on, they don't tell you what they didn't like about you, strung you along then dump you like you were nothing, and you're sitting here asking "why" and questioning your worth, sanity, etc...when you're perfect and the person who rejected you is the "loser" and/or is f-d up in their head - which has NO reflection on you and your worth.

 

At the end of the day, please stop this stunted development of you as a person solely on this one experience.

 

Now, if since then you haven't been doing well with the ladies, then maybe it's time to get a dating coach, wingman, etc. I had to teach myself style and how to put on make-up cuz mum never showed me.

 

We all go through crappy things in life. Some children are raped for years, lost their innocence and still move on to be productive members of society and have health and happy families of their own. But they do the hard work, they seek help/counseling and don't sit around going over and over their past. They recognize their past, leave it there and move on.

 

So, I really believe you're holding on to this "first love" thing to try to repair a traumatic experience, not cuz "first loves" are guaranteed to be like in the movies.

[loverage21]

And I never had a "magical" first anything as a teenager either. Didn't even go to prom. Wasn't sure if I could walk across the stage at graduation cuz parents couldn't afford cap and gown. So they pooped on me working my butt off to graduate top 10% in the school, while my sisters never graduated high school and were busy leeching off of me with their "husbands" and rugrats.

 

Look, my "first" jump from an airplane was something I'll remember, cuz yea, it's the first time I did it and it is some seriously scary stuff. But my 3rd and 4th jump topped the first cuz I got tangled in the air, was screaming, but despite glasses and kevlar going airborne, I got myself and that parachute under control and landed like an angel. In other words while my first I'll remember, it pales in comparison with my 3rd jump.

 

If I'm reading your link correctly, you lost your virginity to a chick who quickly dumped you afterwards. I get it, it hurts that after making yourself vulnerable someone drops you like a hot pocket and you don't know why. You question if you're not good looking, sucked in the bedroom, smelled funny, etc....your confidence is shattered.

 

Maybe that's why you keep on revisiting this event and so want to recreate it.

 

Listen, I'm a woman going on my 40's who thought I was the next best thing. I got the body, my own stuff, am a sexy chick, etc. You know what I got passed over for? 1) A lazy and overweight girl who is manipulative and not that bright...not even sexy in the least; and, 2) A skinny dimwhitt who is so psycho she can't keep a man - even the father of her kids...who also is a little manipulative twit and drags her kids around every guy she meets in her desperate search for someone to babysit while she runs the street.

 

So oh yeah, my ego for sure took a hit. I seriously questioned if I was in bizzarro world. I still am shaken and quite frankly am having problems going out there in the dating world because of this. I mean, I've gotten the "you're out of my league" speech several times so I have to wonder am I aiming too low here or guys no longer have any standards.

 

Now these two chicks? They're not ugly, but not drop dead beauties either, so, with their lazy, psycho, and manipulative ways, I have to wonder "what is it" that I don't have that they do so I can work on it and make myself more "dateable".

 

Now, I can either sit here and keep reliving this rejection or I can take an honest look at the situation and myself - even get some professional help to see why I would place my value beneath a two loser chicks.

 

And, you must do the same...

 

This girl who rejected you, remember you both were teenagers. What are you or her gonna know about sex? Shoot even for experienced adults the first time isn't always fireworks, it can be awkward and even horrible.

 

But a teenager isn't gonna know any better. Also, how do you not know that it wasn't about you or the sex. She could have had reservations about "doing it" and felt ashamed. So like me and this guy that I wasted a year on, they don't tell you what they didn't like about you, strung you along then dump you like you were nothing, and you're sitting here asking "why" and questioning your worth, sanity, etc...when you're perfect and the person who rejected you is the "loser" and/or is f-d up in their head - which has NO reflection on you and your worth.

 

At the end of the day, please stop this stunted development of you as a person solely on this one experience.

 

Now, if since then you haven't been doing well with the ladies, then maybe it's time to get a dating coach, wingman, etc. I had to teach myself style and how to put on make-up cuz mum never showed me.

 

We all go through crappy things in life. Some children are raped for years, lost their innocence and still move on to be productive members of society and have health and happy families of their own. But they do the hard work, they seek help/counseling and don't sit around going over and over their past. They recognize their past, leave it there and move on.

 

So, I really believe you're holding on to this "first love" thing to try to repair a traumatic experience, not cuz "first loves" are guaranteed to be like in the movies.

 

So you never loved as a teen then?

 

Oh and I wasn't a teen when I lost my virginity. But the girl was.

 

I was 20, she was 16

 

I am now 21, she is now 17

[Gloria25]

So you never loved as a teen then?

 

Oh and I wasn't a teen when I lost my virginity. But the girl was.

 

I was 20, she was 16

 

I am now 21, she is now 17

 

No, I never had "teenage love", not one boy ever asked me out on a date....EVER.

 

Of the guy I had my "first with", he was older and it was horrible. I then moved on to date another guy and met my 6 yr guy...he was my "third" one of the best sexual and intimate experiences in my life, but practically not match. I'd never date him, even meet up with him just for sex again, and I felt this way about him for years...cuz that's what me and others are trying to tell you...not all of us have perfect starts, but we evolve and even if it's our 100th "love" we'll find it somehow/somewhere.

 

I had no sense of style....dressed "older" than my peers. Never went to those parties you see in teen movies.

 

Only had one or two "friends" and dad barely let me spend time with them. I remember being son pissed off that even with the little bit of money I earned tutoring, dad wouldn't allow me to go on a weekend getaway at our lovely beaches in my Central American hometown.

 

My childhood and teenage years sucked.

Edited November 25, 2015 by Gloria25

[BlueIris]

you have missed out on teenage love

you'll never be 15 and in love

lying on the grass on a warm summer night, watching the stars, carelessly chatting

not worrying about rent, bills, student loans

only worry in life is how you're gonna cheat on that history test on Monday

you'll never take a young, tight, hot-bodied girls virginity, pulling out to cum all over her back and have her look in your eyes and say "I love you"

you'll never have a girl around every day after school, pretend to be doing homework together, but instead just **** like rabbits

you're in your 20's now

gotta get a good job

gotta be a serious man now

all the good ones are taken

maybe a nice girl will eventually settle with you

they have already felt all those new exciting feelings before, and are usually jaded and bitter

you missed what it feels like to have not a care in the world other than making your girl happy

you have missed out on teenage love"

 

 

They say the older you get the less dopamine you release.

 

He continued to tell me

Most people in their 20's aren't looking out for "true love" in liking the person fully. At mid 20's and later many women especially are looking out for partners that would be stable for LTR relationship. When your in your 20's outside of school you got student loans, jobs and so forth. Many people have already experience their first love, done all the usual sexual positions already, had a few partners (you can't beat out first love no matter what anyone says) and by then nothing is new. The emotion they've felt and things they've done has already been done with another. It's like going to an amusement park for the first time or new country. It's exciting as hell for the first time, but repeat visits and the novelty wears off.

 

20's and 30's love is less about romance, fire and passion and more about finding stable, relationships, with someone you can stand.

 

Is it "true?" It's someone's view of teenage love, or an idealization of it because he didn't have it.

 

I've never idealized the teenage years. Middle school and high school were angsty and painful. I consider them a hormone-imbalanced hazing that you're dragged through after which you get to be an adult. Every age is better than the last, so look forward to all that is coming. Life is a terrific ride.

 

ETA: I wouldn't have dated someone like that in HS. Cheating and cumming on someone's back? No thanks.

[MidwestUSA]

 

ETA: I wouldn't have dated someone like that in HS. Cheating and cumming on someone's back? No thanks.

 

But then we must turn around, look in his eyes, and say 'I love you'.

 

Who loses their virginity doggie style? And who's thinking of love rather than the pain and the blood on the sheets? LOL, sounds like some Penthouse ramblings.