hellohellohello Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 ...and I just can't seem to make it work. On paper we seem like we're perfect for each other (same interests, similar temperaments/personality traits), but in reality he's quiet, I'm quiet, and most of our attempts at conversation sounded more like interrogations. And I think I exhausted all conversation topics within the first three weeks. Eventually, the attempts just dwindled, and now things are as weird between us as couples who just broke up even though we never did anything beyond trying to talk to each other(!). It's frustrating because, when paired with more outgoing individuals, we each seem to be an OK conversation partner (him better than me, actually). Also, there's a few guys who seem to have a casual interest in me who I do think are cute and have had easy conversations with but who I'm just as naturally drawn to as I have always been to him. Should I just let it go? I've never been attracted to a guy so much I feel that if I don't do everything in my power I'll regret it and in a few years will look back and still be asking "what if?" On the other hand, I feel that the "relationship" has run its course, and if I try too hard I might cross the line between cute crushing and crazy stalking. Advice??
rlc1957 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I would suggest you two just hang out with each other and quit trying to have a relationship and get to know each other as friends. Or just spend time doing things and get to know each other that way. I don't think there is a perfect recipe for developing or forming a relationship. They are a little bit of work and lots of patience. Go do things, enjoy yourself and let things happen. Good luck. 1
Glitters Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 If your personalities are too similar and have too many similar interests , that creates boredom and stagnancy. You need to differ somewhere so that you both bring newness rather than too much familiarity. This is one of the reasons why a partner should be different from oneself ! Some comman interests are very important otherwise you always end up not agreeing on anything. In your situation, you either need to be creative or move on.
Qboro90 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 If you think you've exhausted all conversation topics after a couple weeks then there's no way you would've made it as a couple. When it's like pulling teeth to get the person you're seeing to talk and converse, that's just going to lead to aggravation and manufactured interaction. Not sure if you're a sports fan but for example. There are teams every year who before the season starts are picked to win the a World Series because "on paper" they have all the tools and players to be the best in the game. However those teams can finish in last place because once the season starts, things just don't fall into place and we see that just because "on paper" they looked great... Doesn't mean they actually were great. Your on paper perfection with this guy is just a projection of what you could have in a best case scenerio. That's not realistic and you found out he doesn't mesh well with your likeminded social traits.
Popsicle Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I find that single introverted or single quiet men prefer extroverted women.
Glitters Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I find that single introverted or single quiet men prefer extroverted women. Also vice vers !Extrovert guys Love shy , quiet women 1
Author hellohellohello Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) When it's like pulling teeth to get the person you're seeing to talk and converse, that's just going to lead to aggravation and manufactured interaction. Yeah, I've noticed this. One reason things are becoming weird/uncomfortable between us. I think this is just hard to get over because the attraction was clearly mutual (rarely happened to me!) and, before we started trying to have conversations, we spent 3-4 months looking longingly at each other with only brief small talks every now and then. Maybe I've invested too much time and energy and just feel that "If I try a little harder/longer, surely my persistence will pay off", and regardless of knowing I should move on, I'll probably hold off on zeroing on another guy "just in case". Sigh. Edited November 21, 2015 by hellohellohello 1
SwordofFlame Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I'm an introverted guy and while I've been on plenty of dates with introverted women, the only successful relationships I have had were with women that were more extroverted.
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