One_Made_of_Silver Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) Tomorrow I have a date with this girl I met online. I have logged in to view her profile so I can learn a little bit more about her to fuel the conversation during our date. But I have noticed that she has been logging on to her account since we arranged the date. We have a place and time set up and everything. This worries me. Look, I understand we haven't even met. I understand that until you have both decided to be exclusive that it is all fair game. Obviously. But, I am wondering if this is just doomed from the start? What if she's logging on and chatting it up and making plans with guys who are better matches? I'm confident in myself, but I really don't know how guys can compete in that type of environment where the women are getting constant attention and emails and temptation from other guys. Edited November 21, 2015 by One_Made_of_Silver
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 That's how the game goes. Show her the guy you are! If you're a fine match for each other and she decides to goes for some other guy online who she thinks is cuter, do you want to be with that type of girl?
mrldii Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Perhaps she's logging on to examine your profile more closely to be able to have things to discuss when you two meet on your date. Perhaps she's getting cold feet because she notices that you keep logging on, so obviously you're chatting it up and making plans with other women who are better matches? See what I did there? 1
Zippy2000 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Dont worry about it! You got a date with her. Shes giving you a chance........................seesh! Some people.
Ami1uwant Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 As others have said she could be logging on for the same teason. Never assume you are the only one they are talking to or dating until you get to the exclusivity talk. Also understand with dating sites...you just open and read their email they can say you are active on the site without even logging in.
oberkeat Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I think OPs worry is legit. This kid in the candy store effect, multidating, multi messaging, always looking for the next best thing, is how women become serial daters online. I have had women flake on me and I'm certain they were dating other guys when we were dating.
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 As others have said she could be logging on for the same teason. This typo from reason to tease-on made me laugh. I don't think the OLD date is teasing the OP, but the word from the typo implies the motive some would do this for.
mrldii Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I think OPs worry is legit. This kid in the candy store effect, multidating, multi messaging, always looking for the next best thing, is how women become serial daters online. I have had women flake on me and I'm certain they were dating other guys when we were dating. You should assume a woman/man on a dating site is dating. That's kinda what she's/he's there for...dating. Granted, I've never been on a pay-for online dating site...but is that in the small print of the contract? That once someone contacts you via PM and you've chatted via PM and a date has been set up you two are going steady and/or betrothed to one another? Can I at least meet the guy face-to-face in real life, and see if I like his brand of cologne before I am his, forsaking all others?!?
xcupid Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 That's the chance you take with online dating. You have no control over what she does at this stage.
oberkeat Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 You should assume a woman/man on a dating site is dating. That's kinda what she's/he's there for...dating. Granted, I've never been on a pay-for online dating site...but is that in the small print of the contract? That once someone contacts you via PM and you've chatted via PM and a date has been set up you two are going steady and/or betrothed to one another? Can I at least meet the guy face-to-face in real life, and see if I like his brand of cologne before I am his, forsaking all others?!? When I was online dating, I focused on one woman at a time. I was never multi dating and I gave the girl my full attention before moving on and messaging the next prospect. I don't know how people date several people in one week. I never did that.
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 That's the chance you take with online dating. You have no control over what she does at this stage. And you have control before the first date when met through another social connection or exchanging numbers with someone you've seen in public? Online just gives the extra weight of knowing more if you're stalking them.
Author One_Made_of_Silver Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 That's how the game goes. Show her the guy you are! If you're a fine match for each other and she decides to goes for some other guy online who she thinks is cuter, do you want to be with that type of girl? That's the worst case scenario in my mind.
MidwestUSA Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Here's what I did when I used OLD. If I was interested enough to set a date with someone, I printed his profile out, then didn't log back on to the site. I had everything I needed to know in front of me, and didn't have to see whether he was still logging in. (Even tho that's what you should expect at this point, you haven't even met yet!). Yes, she could be wondering exactly the same about you, can you see that?
Ic1 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 That's the worst case scenario in my mind. It is the worse-case plausible scenario. (Murder would be worse). But once again, would you want to be with someone who would make such a decision?
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