Natalie8 Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Most of them are on there for ego validation, i.e. to receive messages from men in order to affirm they are desirable. Some actually go on dates. Those that do are typically serial daters for whom no one will ever be good enough. Let me guess - they're good at parallel parking? Love to laugh? You should message them if you can keep up with them? Pretty much every chick profile is the same. Good luck; it's a meaningless world out there. You come across really bitter. Online dating is one of the top 5 "places" where people find the person they marry. I have more friends who met their current partner/spouse online than ones who met through work or friends. It is not a meaningless world out there. But what you believe will come to you. Life will reaffirm your beliefs that women are shallow, only online to get ego validation etc. Meanwhile positive guys who are not stuck in victim mode and resent women have a much better chance in attracting a quality partner 1
Philosopher Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 I hate reading "looking for my partner in crime". My pet hate are usernames ending with saurus. If a palaeontologist wanted to discover some new dinosaur species, OKCupid would definitely be the place to visit. It might have been funny five years ago, but now it is so common, it just comes as cheesy instead of being funny. 2
Author Robratory Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 My pet hate are usernames ending with saurus. If a palaeontologist wanted to discover some new dinosaur species, OKCupid would definitely be the place to visit. It might have been funny five years ago, but now it is so common, it just comes as cheesy instead of being funny. Do you think we pay too much attention to pet peeves? I actually first heard "saurus" twenty years ago. People called a "Peggy" at work "Peggysaurus." So yes, it's old and a cliche by now. But should we use that to disqualify someone?
MuffMan6969 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 If the phrase, "Looking for a real man", is anywhere in the profile, instant disqualify.... But I am tempted at times to message and ask if her last few boyfriends werent real men, just to hear the stories:) 1
thecrucible Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Generic? On the contrary. Having been to 15 countries puts you in a tiny minority, and it doesn't matter how long ago you last were abroad. Only 46% of Americans even hold a passport. How many have been to even three countries? Unless you count those whirlwind tours that drag you through eight European countries in five days, not many. I think maybe 'cause I'm European I assume many people have done more traveling than me so it feels like I've not done anything original. Saying that, I think there's an art to making the most of who you are and if you present yourself well, you can come across as more intriguing. I've become more confident in myself over the past couple of years and I attract different men now. I think some men like me because I no longer try to impress them the way I did when I was younger, I just be myself and talk to them as more of an equal. But I can't strike the right balance because guys have lost interest as I've held back too much; so I'm trying to not be too mysterious. When I was online dating, I had the bare minimum in my profile. Somehow many guys found this appealing and a bit "mysterious". It was often a first date conversation how little I had compared to other women. I actually am a very private person and didn't want my whole life story out there for strange men to see. I prefer to open up to people one on one once I meet them. I was even uncomfortable having my pictures up..but figured that was kinda necessary for online dating to work. I was thinking of trying this as I watched the TED talk about the book Data (I posted a thread on this) and the woman who presented it said that she'd found that 97 characters is the optimum length. Maybe I couldn't write as little as that but I've cut my profile quite a lot. I think less can be more sometimes. If you write a lot, you can look too intense or come across as intimidating. 1
Ic1 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 I think less can be more sometimes. If you write a lot, you can look too intense or come across as intimidating. Very much agreed. 1
SwordofFlame Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Very much agreed. Agreed. I also get the sense these women are extreme extroverts if they write a ton. Which isn't really my type. 1
thecrucible Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Agreed. I also get the sense these women are extreme extroverts if they write a ton. Which isn't really my type. That's interesting. I wrote a lot because I'm a bit of a perfectionist and very inside my head (almost textbook introvert) so I would overthink and just overdo it when it's just a dating profile! Now I think if you say enough for the guy to know what type of person you are, you can filter out everything else by just talking to people.
Philosopher Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Do you think we pay too much attention to pet peeves? I actually first heard "saurus" twenty years ago. People called a "Peggy" at work "Peggysaurus." So yes, it's old and a cliche by now. But should we use that to disqualify someone? It is, after the profile picture the first thing I will notice about the profile so if the pet peeve is the username it can be harder to just ignore than if it is just sometime they had wrote in their profile, but I do agree it should not be used as a deciding factor in whether to message someone or not.
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