heartbroken321 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Hi guys and girls, absolutely heart broken here and I need some help. I was in a relationship with a girl of 20 years old. Our relationship was amazing at first, then as of February it started to go downhill, which I do think is my fault, I began to become angry all the time and aggressive, not abusive I may add, just I would walk out of arguments and slam the door, etc etc. however she gave the relationship the usually 'we have to break up if this continues. Anyways it did continue, and the sex stopped, I was never an intimate person with her (wish I was. But I no know I suffered with anxiety) and I no she was an extremely emotional girl with such low self esteem. she he was about to go to Ayia Napa anyways, and she asked if we were going to speak whilst she was away, I was so moody I said 'il talk to you when you get back' (yeah I no please don't remind me how stupid this is). Anyways I went to go and see her the day before, knocked on the door and she was in the back garden she said, but I just gave up and came home. anyways she went away... From the photos it looks like a great time away on holiday for her and her friends. She came home late at night then she text me the next day to meet up, I felt so jealous after seeing her with these guys that stayed in her hotel with her. So I replied 'remembered you have a boyfriend then'. Anyways we met up and she came out straight blank with 'I can't do this anymore' and she was very nervous to say to me. My reply was that I was shocked, and I constantly said to her you've cheated on me you've cheated on me. I tried to touch her and she wouldn't have anything of it. I left and took her things around and she just didn't seem to have a care in the world, I still tried to touch her and she cried and wouldn't. Anyway I continued to win her back, constant texting and she met up with me a few times (why?) then after about 3 weeks she text me first and asked sumin about her TV... Now Then a few days of my trying again to get her back, she came round, we talked and she kissed me, then cried and said I thought it was going to be ok between us but it's not. Then she finally told me a week later she had a peck with a boy on holiday 'he was just a boy' she said when I questioned her. Anyways she came round one night and I began kissing her then we had brief sex before someone walked in and she cried. She sed it's because I don't want the feelings to come back... Now Then after another month of me constantly asking her she sent me a letter after I sent her one saying 'I want you to know I didn't sleep with anyone on holiday'. As soon as the relationship broke up, she was partying all the time, changing hair and piercings, it was like we never existed! Then I also remember re her randomly saying to me 'il never have sex with anyone as good as you' we were quite naughty. However she finally told me after months and months that she's slept with someone else. It was the guy who kissed her on holiday, one of the guys who was staying in the same hotel. A 25 year old calling himself a 'baller', he's not very attractive from what other have said. I asked why and how, she said they'd met up in Milton Keynes a few times, then she drove all the way to his for a night out in Nottingham. I can only assume this would have been where she slept with him. And I did ask when and she said soon after coming home.However, did she sleep with him on holiday? I no she has such low self esteem, has had a one night stand and said she felt disgusting about that. She called this a rebound. Is it a rebound? Overal she said she felt that I 'couldn't give a s*** about her' and she felt so rubbish about herself. So overal now I'm left with sickening thoughts of them two on holiday and then how it went down having sex in Nottingham. I actually had a lot of family issues and didn't want to tell her, I no that's no excuse. If she did sleep with him on holiday was it for a boost of self esteem? Someone actually showed her attention. If she's done it there, but she be willing to meet up again, because I don't know if that's desperate to go all that way from London to have sex with him, or she didn't contemplate that? Because it doesn't seem she liked him the way she spoke, and I asked if she still was and she said 'no because I don't want too'. After holiday she came back so happy like who cares, had a brand new car waiting for her from her parents. I struggle to see tht she saw how upset I was with her that she kissed someone, why go all that way back for her to call it a rebound, but if she did sleep with him on holiday, why go back also? Is it a rebound? Why did I have to beg and beg, hear a letter stating that she didn't only for me to feel like she did, but what gives me question marks is she would have known cheating on me with him wouldn't work for distance and she not rly got it in her.to not realise that I feel like it was completely heartless. Did she sleep with him before, and why? She also said in the car 'I'm going to be alone forever' ! I no it sounds weird but I picture he was better in bed and took such advantage of her, she was mine and he was 25. Please help!
Author heartbroken321 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 Also, the reasons she broke up were because she wants to be alone, however this isn't being alone. It just looks so desperate.
marky00 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 IMHO 95% of the time, the emotional or physical cheating occurs during the relationship. You know, the old monkey branch saying. They won't let go of the old tree branch until they have a good hold of the new one.
Author heartbroken321 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 Yeah, I remember her stating that we 'didn't have an emotional connection' she was also going out with her girls, getting on some guys. I hate the thought she would have slept with him in Ayia Napa, her friends were sleeping with others, but surely she would have gave in to telling me and not watering it down with a kiss etc etc. she just wouldn't touch me when she got back from holiday till eventually did.
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