why are men so available and eager?

November 21, 2015

obviously.. But the difference is the guy you dated WANTED a relationship, they just didn't find one yet.. OP is saying she does not want any kind of relationship..

Are you getting any action Oregon?

November 21, 2015

That is exactly what happened with me (and my fiancé) as well.

He was a HUGE player when I met him! HUGE! Was juggling women like nobody's business.

But when we met, wowza, something clicked and from day one, we only had eyes for each other... and it was HIM who asked me (no TOLD me) on the first date (we had sex the first night we met!)... that he wanted to date me exclusively.... and see where it would lead.

The rest is history -- five plus years later and we're getting married next year.

Can we use this in the other threads where women claim to hate players? hahah

November 21, 2015

obviously.. But the difference is the guy you dated WANTED a relationship, they just didn't find one yet.. OP is saying she does not want any kind of relationship..

That's not her primary directive when dating. She's indicated she's been in relationships (some even long-term), before. I'm sure when

and if

a non-clingy, oh-my-God-please-be-my-girlfriend-forever-and-ever-or-I'll-just-die-if-you-won't-meet-me-and-say-yes

guy comes along, she'll be scarce around the OLD - and real-life - dating scene.

Some people just aren't that desperate to change their Facebook status to "In a Relationship",

yanno?

November 21, 2015

Can we use this in the other threads where women claim to hate players? hahah

I think the answer to that changes according to what thread we are in and what suits the agenda at the time.

November 21, 2015

obviously.. But the difference is the guy you dated WANTED a relationship, they just didn't find one yet.. OP is saying she does not want any kind of relationship..

I don't sense that. She's clearly been in a few long-term relationships before. I have been too. For me, that means my desire to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one is much less this time. It's like there are fewer new experiences for me so I can be more emotionally detached from the process. Don't want to put words into the OP's mouth though. I also think that a lady can get used to her own company and enjoy it so feels no immediate need to settle down straight away. That's not the same as not wanting a relationship at all.

November 21, 2015

Can we use this in the other threads where women claim to hate players? hahah

Some women hate players; some women love players; some women don't give labels much thought, one way or another.

Women are allowed to positively and/or negatively and/or ambiguously and/or indifferently about the different types of men in the world, just as men are allowed to about the different types of women in the world.

It's in The Rules, and sh*t.

November 21, 2015

That's not her primary directive when dating. She's indicated she's been in relationships (some even long-term), before. I'm sure when

and if

a non-clingy, oh-my-God-please-be-my-girlfriend-forever-and-ever-or-I'll-just-die-if-you-won't-meet-me-and-say-yes

guy comes along, she'll be scarce around the OLD - and real-life - dating scene.

Some people just aren't that desperate to change their Facebook status to "In a Relationship",

yanno?

Well, she stated:

"The reason I am single is because to me that is the most desirable thing to be. I love being single (but still dating at least a bit). I'm not the sort of person who feels more fulfilled in a couple than alone."

She did not say "When the right guy comes I want to be a couple" You seem to be making things up..So yeah, unless she is just used for sex, any guy taking her out is wasting his time and money..

November 21, 2015

obviously.. But the difference is the guy you dated WANTED a relationship, they just didn't find one yet.. OP is saying she does not want any kind of relationship..

Referencing my last post, my fiancé was not looking for a RL (per se) when we met.

He was dating several women, enjoying each and every one of them in his own way... (having sex with one even)... but it was casual. They all knew that.

Then he met me (and it's not like I am some super beautiful model-type who has men falling her at her feet)... but something just "clicked" ... that chemistry, spark, that crazy feeling you get in your solar plexis.... lol, I don't know what it was, but it was powerful and it was strong enough that he chose to stop dating the others and focus on me...

I was never a multi-dater and while I was meeting/dating different guys (on-line and off), I usually chose not to see them again after the first "date" or "meet" cause I didn't feel anything special and my goal was a RL so didn't see the point.

But again not everyone is like you and I oregon.... people date for different reasons, casually or otherwise. And until they meet that one special person who knocks their socks off...they will continue to date casually.

I am not gonna judge them negatively just because they do things differently from the way I do.... that's not fair. Everyone is different!

November 21, 2015

that's not her primary directive when dating. She's indicated she's been in relationships (some even long-term), before. I'm sure when

and if

a non-clingy, oh-my-god-please-be-my-girlfriend-forever-and-ever-or-i'll-just-die-if-you-won't-meet-me-and-say-yes

guy comes along, she'll be scarce around the old - and real-life - dating scene.

some people just aren't that desperate to change their facebook status to "in a relationship",

yanno?

^^^^^ this!

November 21, 2015

I think the answer to that changes according to what thread we are in and what suits the agenda at the time.

Might even vary from woman to woman.

We don't really share that same one-relationship cell located in thatshared one brain, yanno.

That was a rumor started by some guy who got rejected by two women, in succession, for the same exact reason ("you watch too much football on TV"), so he assumed we all think alike.

The rest of you men just ran with it.

November 21, 2015

I don't sense that. She's clearly been in a few long-term relationships before. I have been too. For me, that means my desire to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one is much less this time. It's like there are fewer new experiences for me so I can be more emotionally detached from the process. Don't want to put words into the OP's mouth though. I also think that a lady can get used to her own company and enjoy it so feels no immediate need to settle down straight away. That's not the same as not wanting a relationship at all.

100% accurate.

November 21, 2015

And until they meet that one special person who knocks their socks off...they will continue to date casually.

I am not gonna judge them negatively just because they do things differently from the way I do.... that's not fair. Everyone is different!

Umm, Do men take words literally and women do not?

She never said "I will date until I meet the special person" I mean OBVIOUSLY that is everybody..

She said she wants to be single, and does not want to be a couple...Big difference..

November 21, 2015

Might even vary from woman to woman.

We don't really share that same one-relationship cell located in thatshared one brain, yanno.

That was a rumor started by some guy who got rejected by two women, in succession, for the same exact reason ("you watch too much football on TV"), so he assumed we all think alike.

The rest of you men just ran with it.

True but let women in other threads tell it the worst thing a man can be is a player and a lot of seem to agree with them so I think this thread is good evidence to the contrary.

November 21, 2015

Some women hate players; some women love players; some women don't give labels much thought, one way or another.

Women are allowed to positively and/or negatively and/or ambiguously and/or indifferently about the different types of men in the world, just as men are allowed to about the different types of women in the world.

It's in The Rules, and sh*t.

Yes let's drop the labels! I mean it's so easy to dismiss a guy who's gushy about you (because he really likes you) as someone who is desperate when in fact he is 'alpha' in other aspects of life. Then I have met men who act 'alpha' but are cowards when it comes to integrity and aren't good at emotional intimacy, qualities which don't seem very 'alpha' to me.

To me the alpha/beta dichotomy doesn't have anything to do with how outgoing the guy is either. I have met quiet guys who I consider alpha in their character. I have met loud types who are actually quite insecure.

So I think labels are misleading and can lead to us seeing someone as 'desperate' when they are not.

November 21, 2015

Well, she stated:

"The reason I am single is because to me that is the most desirable thing to be. I love being single (but still dating at least a bit). I'm not the sort of person who feels more fulfilled in a couple than alone."

She did not say "When the right guy comes I want to be a couple" You seem to be making things up..So yeah, unless she is just used for sex, any guy taking her out is wasting his time and money..

She indicated in previous posts, she's been in relationships before. She's not in a relationship-seeking mode, right now. If it happens, it happens...if it doesn't, oh well.

I'm not "making things up"...I'm seeing the whole picture, as presented through all of her posts, instead of getting hung-up on and stuck-in-a-rut over one passage that reconfirms my self-fulfilling prophecy that all women are, indeed, evil.

November 21, 2015

True but let women in other threads tell it the worst thing a man can be is a player and a lot of seem to agree with them so I think this thread is good evidence to the contrary.

yeah in this thread players and unavailable men rock..

November 21, 2015

Can we use this in the other threads where women claim to hate players? hahah

LOL, sure why not!

As for ME... I don't claim to "hate" players or even dislike "players." I judge each man on how well WE connect... and go from there.

And when I give advise on this board, I judge each situation separately and if I feel a woman is being "played" by a player, I will advise her to end it, cause that isn't right.... especially if SHE is wanting a RL.

And just so you know... had my fiancé simply added me to his list of women he was juggling, I NEVER EVER would have agreed to date him. Just thought I would make that clear.

I chose to have sex with him that first night we met...but NOT with the expectation that it would lead anywhere. We both just felt like it, so we did.

If I never heard from him again, so be it... again, that is NOT why I chose to have sex with him.

But that's not how it went down for us. We clicked, super clicked, it was like some strange force, not sure if you ever felt it....but it was powerful.

And we chose to be exclusive with each other straight from the get go because of it.

November 21, 2015

True but let women in other threads tell it the worst thing a man can be is a player and a lot of seem to agree with them so I think this thread is good evidence to the contrary.

The women in other threads, from other cities, out at other venues,

are allowed to have their own opinions on matters, too.

Women posting in other threads, living in other cities, out at other venues,

don't get to speak for me, nor I them.

Oh, and hope you're sitting down for this one:

I cast my own vote each election day, too.

November 21, 2015

Yes let's drop the labels! I mean it's so easy to dismiss a guy who's gushy about you (because he really likes you) as someone who is desperate when in fact he is 'alpha' in other aspects of life. Then I have met men who act 'alpha' but are cowards when it comes to integrity and aren't good at emotional intimacy, qualities which don't seem very 'alpha' to me.

To me the alpha/beta dichotomy doesn't have anything to do with how outgoing the guy is either. I have met quiet guys who I consider alpha in their character. I have met loud types who are actually quite insecure.

So I think labels are misleading and can lead to us seeing someone as 'desperate' when they are not.

When I think of "beta" I'm talking about guys who are passive and who often communicate in a passive-aggressive way. The guy who believes he is Mr Nice Guy but is really seething with rage and resentment towards women because he gets overlooked so often. He sees himself as a victim rather than as in control of his own universe. He doesn't own his experiences but instead blames it on women/the universe/whatever. Beta man wrongly assumes women are only interested in bad boys, rich guys and guys who are model-gorgeous. "Alpha", to me, is the confident, assertive (not aggressive, assertive) guy. He's not necessarily rich or stunningly good looking.

November 21, 2015

True but let women in other threads tell it the worst thing a man can be is a player and a lot of seem to agree with them so I think this thread is good evidence to the contrary.

I think some of us have been unfortunately drawn to players for other reasons when we don't know better (like charm, confidence or looks) especially when young and naive. But no woman actually wants to be with a player. So that statement is true - women don't like players.

Men can be deceived by the female version - like a woman who exudes sexual confidence and is considered 'hot' and so entices a man, but turns out to be only after his money.

November 21, 2015

yeah in this thread players and unavailable men rock..

Us guys just need to accept the fact that with some folks we will always be in the doghouse no matter what. When we do one thing they want it differently and then we switch it up they complain about it. Let's decorate our doghouses and put on additions until they are as nice to live in as a penthouse or a beautiful beachouse. Stop walking on eggshells and trying to please unpleasable people. It is very liberating when you realize that you can't win because you stop wasting energy on trying.

November 21, 2015

She indicated in previous posts, she's been in relationships before. She's not in a relationship-seeking mode, right now. If it happens, it happens...if it doesn't, oh well.

I'm not "making things up"...I'm seeing the whole picture, as presented through all of her posts, instead of getting hung-up on and stuck-in-a-rut over one passage that reconfirms my self-fulfilling prophecy that all women are, indeed, evil.

:bunny::bunny::D:D:D:D:D:D

November 21, 2015

She indicated in previous posts, she's been in relationships before. She's not in a relationship-seeking mode, right now. If it happens, it happens...if it doesn't, oh well.

I'm not "making things up"...I'm seeing the whole picture, as presented through all of her posts, instead of getting hung-up on and stuck-in-a-rut over one passage that reconfirms my self-fulfilling prophecy that all women are, indeed, evil.

The reason I am single is because to me that is the most desirable thing to be. I love being single (but still dating at least a bit). I'm not the sort of person who feels more fulfilled in a couple than alone."

So that means,, in womanese, "if a relationship happens, it happens"?

I mean clearly she said she feels more fulfilled alone, and being single is more desirable...So, ummm, then why join dating sites? I mean one of these sissy,needy men might think she is actually looking for a relationship since she is on dating sites..

November 21, 2015

LOL, sure why not!

As for ME... I don't claim to "hate" players or even dislike "players." I judge each man on how well WE connect... and go from there.

And when I give advise on this board, I judge each situation separately and if I feel a woman is being "played" by a player, I will advise her to end it, cause that isn't right.... especially if SHE is wanting a RL.

And just so you know... had my fiancé simply added me to his list of women he was juggling, I NEVER EVER would have agreed to date him. Just thought I would make that clear.

I chose to have sex with him that first night we met...but NOT with the expectation that it would lead anywhere. We both just felt like it, so we did.

If I never heard from him again, so be it... again, that is NOT why I chose to have sex with him.

But that's not how it went down for us. We clicked, super clicked, it was like some strange force, not sure if you ever felt it....but it was powerful.

And we chose to be exclusive with each other straight from the get go because of it.

Be honest though does it turn you on that a man who can get all those women choose you and that you were able to tame him?

November 21, 2015

Us guys just need to accept the fact that with some folks we will always be in the doghouse no matter what. When we do one thing they want it differently and then we switch it up they complain about it. Let's decorate our doghouses and put on additions until they are as nice to live in as a penthouse or a beautiful beachouse. Stop walking on eggshells and trying to please unpleasable people. It is very liberating when you realize that you can't win because you stop wasting energy on trying.

If what you're saying is that people should just relax and be themselves and stop twisting themselves to be what [they think is what] everybody wants,

I agree 100%.

Why attempt to be all things to all people at all times, when the majority of us claim we just want that one who thinks we're pretty damned cool,

as is.

Sign In

why are men so available and eager?

Recommended Posts

Odinani

oregon0011

mrldii

Woggle

thecrucible

mrldii

oregon0011

katiegrl

Odinani

mrldii

Odinani

oregon0011

Woggle

thecrucible

mrldii

oregon0011

katiegrl

mrldii

Odinani

thecrucible

Woggle

Odinani

oregon0011

Woggle

mrldii

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...