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why are men so available and eager?

Odinani

By Odinani
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oregon0011 Established Member

oregon0011

Posted
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Not sure why you are justifying this.... it's kinda of crazy.

 

He sent her eight texts in quick succession, with zero texts from her in between. Does it matter whether they were emails or texts, what's the difference?

 

Doesn't matter what they were about.... it's overwhelming and too much, too soon.

 

Can't speak for anyone else, but I call that obsessive especially since they have not met in person yet.

 

If you don't that's fine, I accept that.

 

Let's just agree to disagree then... :)

 

God. Lol. Can't you just admit you are wrong?

 

Emails and texts are vastly different.

 

And if you are telling a story via text it is broken up into a few messages in quick succession. Big deal. How is that obsessive????

 

I cook with

 

Cheese

 

Onion

 

Tomatoes

 

Garlic.

 

Omg. That's 5 quick texts. What a crazy psycho.

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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She's single. She's dating. That's what single people do: they date.

 

Yes, single people get to be the little Goldilocks of the world: discarding this cup of porridge 'cuz it's too hot, that cup of porridge 'cuz it's too cold, jumping from cup of porridge to cup of porridge

 

- or, bed to bed (if I remember the tale correctly) -

 

'til they find the one that's just right.

 

Dating --->Exclusive Dating---->Engagement/Cohabitation/Marriage

 

 

Answering a "Hi! How R U" private message does NOT mean we are dating. Saying, "Yes, DO let's meet for coffee on Tuesday" does NOT mean we're exclusively dating. Showing up for the meet-and-greet does NOT mean we're engaged.

 

 

Jesus, I'm glad I don't do OLD. This thread is making me seriously consider running to the shelter this weekend to begin my collection of 72 cats.

 

:eek:

 

Yes, exactly. I date. I date a lot at times. I am seeing what's out there rather than looking to settle down at this time. The reason I am single is because to me that is the most desirable thing to be. I love being single (but still dating at least a bit). I'm not the sort of person who feels more fulfilled in a couple than alone.

 

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
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Yeah. See. No emails. No love bombing. Just talking about what he cooks.obviously they would be in quick succession.

 

Okay I just thought about this and I think I get it.

 

He sent the one long text but it broke it up into eight separate texts that came in quick succession.

 

Yeah I have had that happen to me via text, so I see your point oregon and it makes sense.

 

At this point I am just so confused by this entire thread, I think I will just sit back and observe.... :p:bunny:

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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Yeah. In all those cases the guy approached the girl. So you want a guy who approaches many women?

 

Well it's clearly worked in my past relationships

oregon0011 Established Member

oregon0011

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Well it's clearly worked in my past relationships

 

No. I mean you want to meet a guy online who is approaching many other women besides you, so that you could have the guy who is "wanted by other women"?

thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

Posted
Posted

I feel the same as the OP. I would be turned off if a guy text me in succession without giving me a chance to reply to the initial text. I'm not really into texting so I often put my phone down and do other things and I take ages to reply to texts :/. If a guy was dead keen on me replying more, I would definitely put in the effort. However I'd feel a bit disrespected if he didn't give me the chance to get back to his last response (although if it really has been a while, that's understandable).

 

I would cut a lot of slack for enthusiasm. I'm going to be honest - I used to be turned on by the mystery of an unavailable man. I'm almost done with that now because it really sucks to be in a relationship with such a man. Consistency isn't as exciting but at least you feel secure in the man's affections. If I have been turned off by a guy being into me in the past, it can only be because I didn't feel an attraction and has nothing to do with his actions.

 

@Odinani - I wish I was able to meet as many men as you. I'm starting to feel something's wrong with me 'cause I hardly meet men to date! If a man actually does approach I can't believe he'd actually be interested in me so I probably miss out on opportunities.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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God. Lol. Can't you just admit you are wrong?

 

Emails and texts are vastly different.

 

And if you are telling a story via text it is broken up into a few messages in quick succession. Big deal. How is that obsessive????

 

I cook with

 

Cheese

 

Onion

 

Tomatoes

 

Garlic.

 

Omg. That's 5 quick texts. What a crazy psycho.

 

LOL... okay I get it now! The texting function on my phone would not have done that though which is why I didn't get it at first. It allows me to type one long text ... it doesn't break it up.

 

Does not matter how long it is, the other person receives as one long text message.

 

Sorry!!

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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No. I mean you want to meet a guy online who is approaching many other women besides you, so that you could have the guy who is "wanted by other women"?

 

A guy who is confident and not lacking in social skills is likely to approach women. It comes with the territory. I am not the only woman in the world. I mean, I talk to many other guys too. I don't really understand why you keep asking this?

LostOnes05 Established Member

LostOnes05

Posted
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In my world single people (male and female) tend to date and meet people both offline and online. I used to be anti-OLD and only date guys I met offline. But then I (maybe wrongly?) assumed there's no reason date-able, decent guys wouldn't be online and that there was no harm in using OLD as well as going out with guys who approach me offline. I didn't realise OLD was only for guys who can't get women in real life. Is that the case?

 

ROFL...Online dating became so pervasive because women don't like being approached on the street by random guys and rejection is easier for both parties (plenty of videos on this). The same people offline are the same ones online...believe me.

 

I personally don't go to bars or clubs unless a friend is having a party, because I stopped drinking a long time ago (rather workout and be healthy). So the likelihood that I'd meet someone there is nil. I've heard that women don't want to be approached at the gym because that's their personal time. Fine. So what other avenues would a man with a job/school, and other responsibilities use to meet someone outside of his normal interactions? I too am a one at a time kind of guy. I don't see the point in entertaining a bunch of women and making cuts like it's "The Bachelor". I'd rather invest in the one person, which in today's dating world has major consequences. But if what katiegrl said was accurate (in regards to 8 unanswered texts), that's excessive. I'd stop texting after 2 texts with no answer.

 

And final question, do you accept this rose?? Lol, jk.

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oregon0011 Established Member

oregon0011

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Yes, exactly. I date. I date a lot at times. I am seeing what's out there rather than looking to settle down at this time. The reason I am single is because to me that is the most desirable thing to be. I love being single (but still dating at least a bit). I'm not the sort of person who feels more fulfilled in a couple than alone.

 

 

Dating people who want to be single is a huge waste of time...Why not just ensure that you can stay single by not dating?

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oregon0011 Established Member

oregon0011

Posted
Posted
A guy who is confident and not lacking in social skills is likely to approach women. It comes with the territory. I am not the only woman in the world. I mean, I talk to many other guys too. I don't really understand why you keep asking this?

 

I do not understand why you would want to date a man who is banging many other women...or trying to..Why?Why is that a turn on for you?

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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I feel the same as the OP. I would be turned off if a guy text me in succession without giving me a chance to reply to the initial text. I'm not really into texting so I often put my phone down and do other things and I take ages to reply to texts :/. If a guy was dead keen on me replying more, I would definitely put in the effort. However I'd feel a bit disrespected if he didn't give me the chance to get back to his last response (although if it really has been a while, that's understandable).

 

I would cut a lot of slack for enthusiasm. I'm going to be honest - I used to be turned on by the mystery of an unavailable man. I'm almost done with that now because it really sucks to be in a relationship with such a man. Consistency isn't as exciting but at least you feel secure in the man's affections. If I have been turned off by a guy being into me in the past, it can only be because I didn't feel an attraction and has nothing to do with his actions.

 

@Odinani - I wish I was able to meet as many men as you. I'm starting to feel something's wrong with me 'cause I hardly meet men to date! If a man actually does approach I can't believe he'd actually be interested in me so I probably miss out on opportunities.

 

Do you mean in real life or OLD?

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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I do not understand why you would want to date a man who is banging many other women...or trying to..Why?Why is that a turn on for you?

 

Yes, we all meet up at my place and have orgies.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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Dating people who want to be single is a huge waste of time...Why not just ensure that you can stay single by not dating?

 

I said I was gonna sit back but couldn't help myself... :)

 

oregon, not everyone who dates is looking for a RL. Many people date simply to meet new people, have fun, maybe have some casual sex, lots of reasons.

 

As long as they are honest with the other person, I see nothing wrong with that.

 

That's not me for sure.... I have always dated, the goal being to meet someone to be in a RL with...but I have learned that not everyone is like me.

 

Depending on where someone is in their life, they may only be ready and desirous of casual dating, which is fine too, as long as they're honest with the other person.

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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Dating people who want to be single is a huge waste of time...Why not just ensure that you can stay single by not dating?

 

Because I choose to date, and men choose to date me. HTH.

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anduina Established Member

anduina

Posted
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Two of the guys I am talking to right now seemed promising at first. Reasonably physically attractive, great jobs, able to hold a conversation. But as soon as we set up a first date and thus exchanged numbers both of them are texting non stop. The first guy sends 7 or 8 texts in quick succession. He also texts me every morning to say "good morning" and every evening. His texts are full of very girly emoticons. Like the one with the blushing face and the other one with little red hearts on it. He must have said at least twice now "I really can't wait to meet you."

 

This has the effect of making me lose the initial interest I had in the guy. Can't men be a little more aloof?

Please give me his number. I love guys like this who are willing and capable of emotionally connecting.
mrldii Established Member

mrldii

Posted
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Dating people who want to be single is a huge waste of time...Why not just ensure that you can stay single by not dating?

 

Dating someone who just wants to/ has to / is gonna die

 

 

if they don't find someone, anyone, NOWdammit

 

 

is the surest way to have another failed relationship. And to resent members of the opposite sex who always seem to be one thing/way, but end up really being a completely different way.

 

 

Jus' sayin'.

 

 

Every guy I've ever dated and then gone on to have successful, long-term relationships with has been single when I met him, dating as many different women as he wanted to, and approaching them whenever and wherever one struck his fancy.

 

In each and every case, he stopped dating others (as did I) when we both agreed, "I've seen what's out there...and I want you!"

 

Not a single one got with me 'cuz I was the first to say, "Sure...I'll go out with you" (or, vice-versa).

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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Please give me his number. I love guys like this who are willing and capable of emotionally connecting.

 

OK, but don't come complaining to me when he bombards you with :love::love::love::love::love::love::p:p:p:p:p:p:p:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

anduina Established Member

anduina

Posted
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OK, but don't come complaining to me when he bombards you with :love::love::love::love::love::love::p:p:p:p:p:p:p:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
That wouldn't bother me at all. Squishy guys are the best. :bunny:
oregon0011 Established Member

oregon0011

Posted
Posted
I said I was gonna sit back but couldn't help myself... :)

 

oregon, not everyone who dates is looking for a RL. Many people date simply to meet new people, have fun, maybe have some casual sex, lots of reasons.

 

As long as they are honest with the other person, I see nothing wrong with that.

 

That's not me for sure.... I have always dated, the goal being to meet someone to be in a RL with...but I have learned that not everyone is like me.

 

Depending on where someone is in their life, they may only be ready and desirous of casual dating, which is fine too, as long as they're honest with the other person.

 

Lol..

 

The OP is spending LOTS OF TIME apparently online dating, giving her number out, talking to men, etc.. And she wants to be single? Then even coming here to complain about how all the guys annoy her.. So a big portion of her life is making profiles, answering messages, texts, emails, coming here to vent etc.. Because she wants to be single..Ok....

 

I guess it is sad, because there is so much life has to offer, other than just trying to get male attention, apparently for no real reason other than getting attention...

 

Reading? Traveling? Volunteering? Cooking? learning? I mean if you WANT to stay single, the focus your energy elsewhere..

 

More or less to me it is an excuse people use because they cannot find anyone..

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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Dating someone who just wants to/ has to / is gonna die

 

 

if they don't find someone, anyone, NOWdammit

 

 

is the surest way to have another failed relationship. And to resent members of the opposite sex who always seem to be one thing/way, but end up really being a completely different way.

 

 

Jus' sayin'.

 

 

Every guy I've ever dated and then gone on to have successful, long-term relationships with has been single when I met him, dating as many different women as he wanted to, and approaching them whenever and wherever one struck his fancy.

In each and every case, he stopped dating others (as did I) when we both agreed, "I've seen what's out there...and I want you!"

 

Not a single one got with me 'cuz I was the first to say, "Sure...I'll go out with you" (or, vice-versa).

 

That is exactly what happened with me (and my fiancé) as well.

 

He was a HUGE player when I met him! HUGE! Was juggling women like nobody's business.

 

But when we met, wowza, something clicked and from day one, we only had eyes for each other... and it was HIM who asked me (no TOLD me) on the first date (we had sex the first night we met!)... that he wanted to date me exclusively.... and see where it would lead.

 

The rest is history -- five plus years later and we're getting married next year.

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Odinani Established Member

Odinani

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Lol..

 

The OP is spending LOTS OF TIME apparently online dating, giving her number out, talking to men, etc.. And she wants to be single? Then even coming here to complain about how all the guys annoy her.. So a big portion of her life is making profiles, answering messages, texts, emails, coming here to vent etc.. Because she wants to be single..Ok....

 

I guess it is sad, because there is so much life has to offer, other than just trying to get male attention, apparently for no real reason other than getting attention...

 

Reading? Traveling? Volunteering? Cooking? learning? I mean if you WANT to stay single, the focus your energy elsewhere..

 

More or less to me it is an excuse people use because they cannot find anyone..

 

why are you so focused on the intricacies of my life?

oregon0011 Established Member

oregon0011

Posted
Posted
Dating someone who just wants to/ has to / is gonna die

 

 

if they don't find someone, anyone, NOWdammit

 

 

is the surest way to have another failed relationship. And to resent members of the opposite sex who always seem to be one thing/way, but end up really being a completely different way.

 

 

Jus' sayin'.

 

 

Every guy I've ever dated and then gone on to have successful, long-term relationships with has been single when I met him, dating as many different women as he wanted to, and approaching them whenever and wherever one struck his fancy.

 

In each and every case, he stopped dating others (as did I) when we both agreed, "I've seen what's out there...and I want you!"

 

Not a single one got with me 'cuz I was the first to say, "Sure...I'll go out with you" (or, vice-versa).

 

obviously.. But the difference is the guy you dated WANTED a relationship, they just didn't find one yet.. OP is saying she does not want any kind of relationship..

mrldii Established Member

mrldii

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Note to self:

 

Self, if you ever DO do OLD, make sure your first reply is "Eye m fyne, thx 4 asking. Soooooo, what are your thoughts on multi-dating?"

 

 

Then sit back and watch the wheat magically separate itself from the chaff. :bunny:

thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

Posted
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Do you mean in real life or OLD?

 

In real life. I am not sure OLD is for me as I have met real nice guys on there that in the past I have prematurely rejected because I thought they were too eager. The real issue is that I'm slow to feel affection towards most people (like I have a wall up) so I get freaked out a bit. The act itself of meeting a guy for a date that I have talked to online is a lot for me so I don't like the pace to be too quick. I like to take my time and many guys want things to happen quickly or they are out of there.

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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