why are men so available and eager?

[Odinani]

Two of the guys I am talking to right now seemed promising at first. Reasonably physically attractive, great jobs, able to hold a conversation. But as soon as we set up a first date and thus exchanged numbers both of them are texting non stop. The first guy sends 7 or 8 texts in quick succession. He also texts me every morning to say "good morning" and every evening. His texts are full of very girly emoticons. Like the one with the blushing face and the other one with little red hearts on it. He must have said at least twice now "I really can't wait to meet you."

 

This has the effect of making me lose the initial interest I had in the guy. Can't men be a little more aloof?

[SwordofFlame]

Just give like one or two word answers and don't respond to texts that don't require a response. If they don't get the message by then, then they're complete idiots.

[Zippy2000]

HOLD ON! Not all men are like this and this is a generalisation.

 

I ll answer our qurstion for you:

 

These men you initially meet are on their best behaviour. Give it 6 - 12 months and you will find they real person.

 

This is important why you should never sleep with someone straight away.

 

Give it time and you`ll see these men are in the "honey moon" phase of the relationship and you`ll soon seen them later on fade, become distant when they cant get sex off you. Just give it time.

[Zippy2000]

Just give like one or two word answers and don't respond to texts that don't require a response. If they don't get the message by then, then they're complete idiots.

 

 

The question is" why are men so available and eager"?

 

Not advice on how to get rid of them............ Read the question.

[katiegrl]

Two of the guys I am talking to right now seemed promising at first. Reasonably physically attractive, great jobs, able to hold a conversation. But as soon as we set up a first date and thus exchanged numbers both of them are texting non stop. The first guy sends 7 or 8 texts in quick succession. He also texts me every morning to say "good morning" and every evening. His texts are full of very girly emoticons. Like the one with the blushing face and the other one with little red hearts on it. He must have said at least twice now

 

 

 

**"I really can't wait to meet you."****

 

 

 

This has the effect of making me lose the initial interest I had in the guy. Can't men be a little more aloof?

 

Translation: "I really can't wait to have sex with you."

 

THAT is why they are so available and eager.

 

Hellllloooo...... not rocket science hun.

[carhill]

Testosterone, which is why they pursue in the first place and weather rebuffs to pursue again, eagerly.

[WhirlwindGuy]

You ever think maybe some of them are just genuinely happy to have met you or to meet you in the future?

 

 

So if he barely text or called you, and responded to you with one word answers, you would like him more? I guess I never understood that mentality.

[Imported]

They probably read somewhere on the internet to do that.

[Odinani]

I read it as them having very little maturity or self control. The smilies with the hearts all over them being evidence of that to a degree.

[SwordofFlame]

You ever think maybe some of them are just genuinely happy to have met you or to meet you in the future?

 

 

So if he barely text or called you, and responded to you with one word answers, you would like him more? I guess I never understood that mentality.

Excessive texting before the first date is pointless. It doesn't create any chemistry for me at all.

[WhirlwindGuy]

Excessive texting before the first date is pointless. It doesn't create any chemistry for me at all.

 

 

 

Yea, I guess before the first date may be kind of strange. I mean I guess there is getting to know you, but just random messages throughout the day is kind of pointless.

[katiegrl]

I read it as them having very little maturity or self control. The smilies with the hearts all over them being evidence of that to a degree.

 

Yeah that too. All the emojos, etc ....very silly IMO.

 

I dunno maybe they're in high school!

 

Lots of trolls on those sites.

 

Horny trolls who see a woman advertising herself posing in a provocative photo, and they lose all sense..

 

But don't kid yourself, immature or not, when a guy comes on like that, he wants sex.

 

Not saying he won't want more after that, but sex is first and foremost.

 

Have you changed your on line photos yet?

[Versacehottie]

They sound over-eager which makes them seem undesirable and like you are way out of their league. Also lack of judgement and their own options that they are over-doing it before having met you. Inexperienced or unsuccessful in dating relationships, especially if your replies have not been equal to theirs in enthusiasm. It's lame I agree. Usually guys that behave like this at beginning are not a match for you. I guess it could happen but 9 times out of 10 it won't amount to anything.

 

OP, just make peace with low expectations for these guys, keep finding some new ones and don't feel obligated to bend to their overtexting or overinvestment before you've met. I think you can go on date for dating practice and because you just never know and it's nice to give people a chance at least once. Use their bad dating moves to learn what not to do in your own dating. Good luck

[mrldii]

Personally, I don't know why a man (or woman) would do that, but if I was on the receiving end of it, I'd surmise that they're just not used to getting too many online responses, and so they're not very well-versed in social graces.

 

Social graces are typically formed/learned by repeated social interactions, which would lead me to wonder why they've had so limited social experiences.

 

While it may not be a red flag for me to cut off all contact, it would most definitely be a very, very deep shocking pink one, causing me to want to dig a little deeper before committing to spending real-world time with them in the real world.

 

 

Best of luck, OP...

[Odinani]

Testosterone, which is why they pursue in the first place and weather rebuffs to pursue again, eagerly.

 

They are acting like they have very little testosterone really with all these soppy messages.

[Odinani]

You ever think maybe some of them are just genuinely happy to have met you or to meet you in the future?

 

 

So if he barely text or called you, and responded to you with one word answers, you would like him more? I guess I never understood that mentality.

 

They do seem genuinely keen to meet. But multiple texts and obvious extreme excitement is quite off putting

[Odinani]

Great post, thanks Versacehottie

 

They sound over-eager which makes them seem undesirable and like you are way out of their league. Also lack of judgement and their own options that they are over-doing it before having met you. Inexperienced or unsuccessful in dating relationships, especially if your replies have not been equal to theirs in enthusiasm. It's lame I agree. Usually guys that behave like this at beginning are not a match for you. I guess it could happen but 9 times out of 10 it won't amount to anything.

 

OP, just make peace with low expectations for these guys, keep finding some new ones and don't feel obligated to bend to their overtexting or overinvestment before you've met. I think you can go on date for dating practice and because you just never know and it's nice to give people a chance at least once. Use their bad dating moves to learn what not to do in your own dating. Good luck

[oregon0011]

I read it as them having very little maturity or self control. The smilies with the hearts all over them being evidence of that to a degree.

 

Guys that are not eager are already sleeping with someone on a regular basis.

 

as for the smiles I won't use them in text, but then girls ask if I am mad.

[PaperCrane]

Guys that are not eager are already sleeping with someone on a regular basis.

 

as for the smiles I won't use them in text, but then girls ask if I am mad.

 

Hahaha, so true.

 

I usually text without emoticons and every girl will always at some point go "Are you mad at me? What did I do?" then I have to explain I'm not, and I'll get pressured to 'out' it, then I will get upset because nothing is wrong.

[LoveRefreshed]

First and foremost, you are seemingly a bit sexist and hold men to societal expectations of what men are. Men should not be emotional, they should be strong, they should take what they want. These sorts of ideals are what drives sexism and I think it's okay to be attracted to what you're attracted to, but it's also good to have a healthy dose of objective introspection into your own ideals.

 

Men are humans like women. They crave emotional closeness, love, friendship. All the same things you do. Don't hold it against them for wanting to find and get to know a woman. It seems counter productive.

 

I think most guys text a lot because they are told to build rapport with a woman through communication. Because all women want to feel loved and special, right? Most women get mad that a man 'plays' the field. I think it's somewhat sweet when I guy makes his mind up right away and pursues hard from the start.

 

In the end, do you want to be with a man who was like "From the first time I met her, I thought she was gorgeous and sweet and I wanted to get to know her immediately" or a man who is all "Well, I was like meh, she's hot but she's probably just as annoying as must women and an idiot. However, she was pretty resilient and persistent in trying to get to know me, so I decided I'd ask her on a third date. Finally, she was all in love with me and I slept with her. It was okay, but in the end I realized it would take a lot more work to find a girl whose more attractive, so I decided we can date"

 

I don't know. If you don't like a lot of texts, then don't answer them. If they get the point, then you'll click.

[loveweary11]

I have always expressed my emotions through them, even back to when they were called emoticons.

 

The fact that there are now a ton of emojis to choose from makes texting a LOT more fun!

 

You're going to be looking very hard/long to find people who don't use emojis...and when you do, they'll probably be boring AF in real life.

 

Have some fun with the emojis. I often get girls lmaoing pretty hard using them, plus the little guy with heart eyes shows them you are into them.

 

My feeling is... you have this wrong. The world isn't going to change for you regarding emojis. You'll have to change.

 

As to over texting, now that's annoying. I hear you there.

[preraph]

It's not good, I agree. Best case scenario is they think bombarding you with texts will "warm you up," making you more likely to sleep with them sooner. Worst case is as you said, being desperate and overly eager and having no dignity, a total turnoff.

 

But I agree. You can even say something like "I'm really not one to text sweet nothings when i haven't even met someone yet" and shut that down if you want.

[Odinani]

First and foremost, you are seemingly a bit sexist and hold men to societal expectations of what men are. Men should not be emotional, they should be strong, they should take what they want. These sorts of ideals are what drives sexism and I think it's okay to be attracted to what you're attracted to, but it's also good to have a healthy dose of objective introspection into your own ideals.

 

Men are humans like women. They crave emotional closeness, love, friendship. All the same things you do. Don't hold it against them for wanting to find and get to know a woman. It seems counter productive.

 

I think most guys text a lot because they are told to build rapport with a woman through communication. Because all women want to feel loved and special, right? Most women get mad that a man 'plays' the field. I think it's somewhat sweet when I guy makes his mind up right away and pursues hard from the start.

 

In the end, do you want to be with a man who was like "From the first time I met her, I thought she was gorgeous and sweet and I wanted to get to know her immediately" or a man who is all "Well, I was like meh, she's hot but she's probably just as annoying as must women and an idiot. However, she was pretty resilient and persistent in trying to get to know me, so I decided I'd ask her on a third date. Finally, she was all in love with me and I slept with her. It was okay, but in the end I realized it would take a lot more work to find a girl whose more attractive, so I decided we can date"

 

I don't know. If you don't like a lot of texts, then don't answer them. If they get the point, then you'll click.

 

Yes, that is correct.

[LoveRefreshed]

Yes, that is correct.

 

You're not going to find those men on OLD. They're out getting laid in person.

[Odinani]

I have always expressed my emotions through them, even back to when they were called emoticons.

 

The fact that there are now a ton of emojis to choose from makes texting a LOT more fun!

 

You're going to be looking very hard/long to find people who don't use emojis...and when you do, they'll probably be boring AF in real life.

 

Have some fun with the emojis. I often get girls lmaoing pretty hard using them, plus the little guy with heart eyes shows them you are into them.

 

My feeling is... you have this wrong. The world isn't going to change for you regarding emojis. You'll have to change.

 

As to over texting, now that's annoying. I hear you there.

 

There are guys who throw in the occasional smiley or winky emoji. Then there are guys who tack 3 to 4 heart emjois or blushing face emojis onto pretty much every message. The latter is a soppy idiot and is acting like a schoolgirl.