familiarity30 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Hi, I really need your viewpoint on this guy. If you think what he do is rude or not? Was he being a gentlement or not? Was he cold to her or not? Was he right or wrong? Should he have do something different instead? Just please give me your opinion on this guy, based on the situation below: Him date this girl, she his GF. They often argue, she tends to like to throw tantrum. One day they were going out, he was driving. He driving, she next to him in the car, and she throw tantrum at him. They argue back and forth, she scream at him, throw tantrum in her loud voice. She didn't have her way, so she further pissed off. So she demand him to stop the car and let her off. He stop the car on the side to let her off as she demand, because she keeps throw tantrum and demand him to let her off the car. Here the problem: it was raining. It was not pouring rain, but it rain enough to get her wet. He fully aware that let her off the car, she will have to walk and get wet because of the rain. But he still let her off anyways, and he drive off. So she walk in the rain, I guess to the nearby gas station and call her girlfriend come pick her up. But she sure have to walk in the rain, cold and wet. It wasn't pouring rain, but it sure rain enough to get her wet. He drive off his cars and doesn't even care to look back, I guess because she was throwing tantrum in the car. So I need your opinions please. Was he cold and rude? Was he not being a gentlement? I know she was throwing tantrum, but he should have just put up with it a little bit more, keep driving and drop her off at her house. I know she demand him to let her off the car, but he doesn't have to do it. He can just be nice and say I let you off when it get to your house. You know what I mean? Since it raining outside, what kind of gentlement would let a girl walk in the rain, and drive off like that? So what if she throw tantrum and demand to get off, he should have be more nice right? He not a gentlement right? I don't know, I just picture a BF let a GF off the car while knowing she will walk in the rain, and he drive off. It just cold right? Would you date or continue to date a guy like this? And I want to make this clear. It her words against his words, I don't know who honest. I was not the one in the car. What if she didn't ask him to let her off. But he is the one that demand her to get off because she won't stop throw tantrum? What if it him that kick her off the car, because she won't stop throw tantrum. While knowing it raining outside, but he demand her to get off the car because she won't stop throw tantrum and yell at him. Then now would you still say he is right? And still say he is a gentlement? Or would you still defend him, and say it his car, so he can kick her out whenever he wants, including let she walk in the rain. I know both of them. But I'm not the one in the car, so I don't know who being honest. It his words against her words, one of them can lie to defense themselves and to make themselves look better.
OMC Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 She asked, he complied. Maybe next time she won't let her mouth write checks her ass isn't willing to cash. 11
kendahke Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 1. Never deal with immature people who throw tantrums like a 3 year old. He should stop dealing with her if she can't grow up enough to settle disagreements without throwing a fit like a child. 2. She's grown enough to get out and walk in the rain if that's what she asked to do. If she gets wet, then she gets wet. BFD. 3. This isn't about being a gentleman. This is about de-escalating a situation that could have turned dangerous. In her violent fit, she could have grabbed the steering wheel or started punching him and crashed his car. 4. Just because she's got ovaries doesn't mean she's not lying. 5. Yes, I would defend his actions because she already has a known history of being erratic and resorting to fighting/tantruming when it suits her mood. Therefore, I would also go as far as to say that lying wouldn't be far out of the realm of possibility with her. She sounds manipulative from what little you've written here about her. 2
Redhead14 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Hi, I really need your viewpoint on this guy. If you think what he do is rude or not? Was he being a gentlement or not? Was he cold to her or not? Was he right or wrong? Should he have do something different instead? Just please give me your opinion on this guy, based on the situation below: Him date this girl, she his GF. They often argue, she tends to like to throw tantrum. One day they were going out, he was driving. He driving, she next to him in the car, and she throw tantrum at him. They argue back and forth, she scream at him, throw tantrum in her loud voice. She didn't have her way, so she further pissed off. So she demand him to stop the car and let her off. He stop the car on the side to let her off as she demand, because she keeps throw tantrum and demand him to let her off the car. Here the problem: it was raining. It was not pouring rain, but it rain enough to get her wet. He fully aware that let her off the car, she will have to walk and get wet because of the rain. But he still let her off anyways, and he drive off. So she walk in the rain, I guess to the nearby gas station and call her girlfriend come pick her up. But she sure have to walk in the rain, cold and wet. It wasn't pouring rain, but it sure rain enough to get her wet. He drive off his cars and doesn't even care to look back, I guess because she was throwing tantrum in the car. So I need your opinions please. Was he cold and rude? Was he not being a gentlement? I know she was throwing tantrum, but he should have just put up with it a little bit more, keep driving and drop her off at her house. I know she demand him to let her off the car, but he doesn't have to do it. He can just be nice and say I let you off when it get to your house. You know what I mean? Since it raining outside, what kind of gentlement would let a girl walk in the rain, and drive off like that? So what if she throw tantrum and demand to get off, he should have be more nice right? He not a gentlement right? I don't know, I just picture a BF let a GF off the car while knowing she will walk in the rain, and he drive off. It just cold right? Would you date or continue to date a guy like this? And I want to make this clear. It her words against his words, I don't know who honest. I was not the one in the car. What if she didn't ask him to let her off. But he is the one that demand her to get off because she won't stop throw tantrum? What if it him that kick her off the car, because she won't stop throw tantrum. While knowing it raining outside, but he demand her to get off the car because she won't stop throw tantrum and yell at him. Then now would you still say he is right? And still say he is a gentlement? Or would you still defend him, and say it his car, so he can kick her out whenever he wants, including let she walk in the rain. I know both of them. But I'm not the one in the car, so I don't know who being honest. It his words against her words, one of them can lie to defense themselves and to make themselves look better. In the end it kind of doesn't matter if she asked him to let her out or he put her out of the car. They were having a heated argument. It's his car and he is responsible for his safety, her safety and the safety of other drivers. Arguing and tantrums in a moving car is distracting and unsafe. You say you know they argue and she throws tantrums often so you can believe there was an argument and a tantrum. If she is throwing a tantrum like a child, let her live with the consequences. If she asked him to let her out, she knew it was raining, so that's her problem. They are both apparently immature and have poor conflict resolution skills. 1
smackie9 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 If he pulled up beside her and asked her to get back in the car, all he is doing is enabling her bad behavior. This time he didn't play into her drama....he did the right thing. This is learned behavior, I think her daddy always caved in to her tantrums as a kid, so this is how she is taught to get what she wants. I don't think he is that immature, I think he loves her too much and doesn't know how to handle this crazy b itch. All he has to do is dump her, pretty simple. 1
Author familiarity30 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 Bump, hope to hear more viewpoints on this. The girl is my close friend, I know her back in the 2 years I went to college. The BF of her, I also know because he also went to college same as her. So we like friends that go to the same college together. I have to admit, I'm closer with her than him. My friend she have a tantrum, she always throw tantrum at her BF, this is correct. I believe they both were arguing in the car. Even her BF admit that she scream at him, and he scream back. My friend also admit that they both were screaming at each others, he scream at her too. But her side of the story is that he told her to get off his car, he pull over to the side and told her to get off. Reason is because he ask her to stop throw tantrum and she won't, so he said she needs to get off his car. When he pull over she didn't want to get off, but he force her to get off. So she get off and slam the car door. His version was she throw tantrum and ask him to let her off. So he did what she ask, let her off the car. One of them is telling the truth, and one of them is lying to make they look better. I would like to hear unbias view on this. Don't defend the guy just because you a guy. Or don't defend the girl just because you a girl. I will also ask my husband viewpoints on this, just because my husband is a guy so I want to hear his voice, lol
VeveCakes Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Not really sure if putting up with it for a few more minutes would be fair to the guy! I would have done what he did... 1
MoreAmore Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Holding someone against his or her will is not being a gentleman; it is kidnapping. He was absolutely right to let her out immediately. She needs to grow up. If they both agree that she said to let her out, there is no more one needs to know. If he told her to get out, he is a jerk and she shouldn't talk to him anymore. Not much else to be done at that point. I am not sure why anyone else is involved. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 If she wants him to act like a gentleman then she has to learn to act like a lady. Door swings both ways. Maybe that cold rain will cool her ass and big mouth off. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 She is very immature. She got what she asked for. Sorry, but he was not wrong here. 2
Maggie4 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Tantrum or no tantrum should not be the deciding factor in what he does. A gentleman is a gentleman all the time, not only when things are good. If she calmly asked, please stop the car I want to get out. He must do it even if there is a snow storm. If she is screaming at him, but she didn't ask to be let out, he should ignore her, not escalate the fight, keep driving until he reaches her house. 1
smackie9 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 If he ignored her she would have flown into a bigger rage to get the attention she demands. It could have gotten worse, even physical.....distracted driving is dangerous. I'm on his side whether she wanted out or he told her to get out, because she's the one with the shoddy behavior. 2
introverted1 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 But her side of the story is that he told her to get off his car, he pull over to the side and told her to get off. Reason is because he ask her to stop throw tantrum and she won't, so he said she needs to get off his car. When he pull over she didn't want to get off, but he force her to get off. So she get off and slam the car door. His version was she throw tantrum and ask him to let her off. So he did what she ask, let her off the car. One of them is telling the truth, and one of them is lying to make they look better. So you're going to take a vote of internet strangers to determine who is telling the truth? My vote is: stay out of it. All that you can ever know for sure is that they both behaved poorly and probaby shouldn't be in a relationship with each other, if at all. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Tantrum or no tantrum should not be the deciding factor in what he does. A gentleman is a gentleman all the time, not only when things are good. And a lady is a lady at all times. You don't have the option of being a lady when you feel like it and then throw a fit at a moments notice and expect him to be her personal whipping boy. Doesn't work that way. Sorry
Woggle Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 He is 100% right. She asked to get out of the car and he obliged. Is he supposed to hold her against her will? If it is raining then that is her fault for asking to get out of the car. She sounds like she has less maturity than a four year old. 2
kendahke Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 The additional information doesn't change what I wrote above. If anything, it reinforces what I said. Your friend is a manipulative, immature brat. Nothing and nowhere close to being a lady. You don't coddle brats. She needed to be put out of the car. In the rain. Those are the consequences for acting as she did. If she doesn't want to be put out of cars in the future, stop the damn screaming and stop the damn tantrumming. She is more than likely lying to and manipulating you. 1
kendahke Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 And a lady is a lady at all times. You don't have the option of being a lady when you feel like it and then throw a fit at a moments notice and expect him to be her personal whipping boy. Doesn't work that way. Sorry ^^^This. Right. Here.
stillafool Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) Tantrum or no tantrum should not be the deciding factor in what he does. A gentleman is a gentleman all the time, not only when things are good. If she calmly asked, please stop the car I want to get out. He must do it even if there is a snow storm. If she is screaming at him, but she didn't ask to be let out, he should ignore her, not escalate the fight, keep driving until he reaches her house. To me a grown woman throwing tantrum after tantrum is sick. He did right to let her out of the car, let her walk in the rain, snow, through fire, IDK; just please get out of my car. He is crazy if he ever wants to be bothered with her again. Why is she so immature that she is screaming at him instead of talking to him like a lady? Oh, and I am a woman btw. Edited November 21, 2015 by stillafool 1
Keenly Posted November 21, 2015 Posted November 21, 2015 Tantrum or no tantrum should not be the deciding factor in what he does. A gentleman is a gentleman all the time, not only when things are good. If she calmly asked, please stop the car I want to get out. He must do it even if there is a snow storm. If she is screaming at him, but she didn't ask to be let out, he should ignore her, not escalate the fight, keep driving until he reaches her house. Thank you for furthering the stereotype that men should just sit there and take it, because she is a woman and he is a man. 1
Recommended Posts