Waiting Indefintely On My Crush

[Gravity84]

So it is going on 15 months now that I've had a serious crush on a female work colleague. I've worked closely with her for a little over a decade and began to distance myself from her once I developed feelings for her 15 months ago.

 

In those 15 months I don't think a day has gone by that I don't think about her. Not even an hour goes by really. This crush is like a cancer and I don't know if it will ever be cured. The crush hasn't gone away not even by a long shot. If anything the crush feelings have probably progressed in spite of my efforts to limit contact with her, take up new hobbies, etc. I took up new hobbies as a way to get my mind off of her. That worked temporarily but now I don't even enjoy doing anything anymore. I can't watch a movie or play a video game or even eat a meal without thinking about her.

 

Just seeing her face everyday is enough on its own as it is to fuel the crush. There's nothing I can do about that since we work in the same department. I only work with her as a last resort. As long as I have other options for work partners I do not choose to pair up with her.

 

However she will still sometimes choose to pair up with me in spite of having other options. She will come over to my area and work with me and help out but I don't go over to her area.

 

What has made things worse is that in the last 6 weeks it looks like our supervisor has gotten involved in purposely pairing the 2 of us up for work. I've picked up on this new pattern. You see when we come into work we have a little clipboard of where each of us signs our name for what area to work at and who to partner with. To a certain extent we have the liberty of choosing who to work with and where.

 

Well in the last 6 weeks our supervisor has been doing something strange such as signing her name at my work area before she even comes into work. So I don't know if my crush has told other work colleagues anything about liking me or not. I don't know if she even feels the same way but I get the sense that other colleagues and even our supervisor has picked up on the fact that I have a crush on her and is purposely pairing us up to make my work life difficult.

 

I bought my crush a birthday gift last month. It was rather inexpensive and I only spent 6 bucks. I figure that buying an inexpensive birthday gift for a work colleague is not a crime. She was receptive and happy and gave me a hug. I put alot of thought into the gift and even hired a professional to gift wrap it.

 

If my suspicions are correct about what my supervisor is doing by purposely pairing her and I up for work then isn't she kind of overstepping her bounds? Even if she thinks there's an unspoken attraction going on between 2 work colleagues it isn't really any of her business to try and get them paired up for work more often.

[matt1221]

Are you trying to distance yourself? Don't make the same mistakes I make.. Have a confident swagger and ask her out or flirt with her. Until you do, you will become more and more obsessed with her.

[Gravity84]

Are you trying to distance yourself? Don't make the same mistakes I make.. Have a confident swagger and ask her out or flirt with her. Until you do, you will become more and more obsessed with her.

 

What mistakes did you make? I don't understand.

[matt1221]

I sometimes distance myself from girls i like and almost play hard to get. Sometimes it's a good way to get their attention, but eventually you have to make your move. If you don't somebody else will scoop them up.

[Gravity84]

I am waiting for the right time. I think there is a right time to ask someone out at work.

[Gloria25]

I am waiting for the right time. I think there is a right time to ask someone out at work.

 

Good, ask her in 15 more months....

 

I sure recommend that!!!

[Gravity84]

Good, ask her in 15 more months....

 

I sure recommend that!!!

 

I think I pretty much have already been obvious in revealing my interest in her by buying the birthday gift.

[Gloria25]

I think I pretty much have already been obvious in revealing my interest in her by buying the birthday gift.

 

Whatever, whatever

[Gloria25]

If she's like a cancer, get chemotherapy!!!

[LoverOfDance]

U have no idea how silly this all sounds. You've liked this woman for a year and a half and still haven't asked her out. What exactly are u waiting for? And why on earth are u avoiding her? Why are u complicating things? You like someone, ask them out. Especially if you really like them and they are available. What on earth are you waiting for? Human beings are so complicated for no reason. We tend to make things difficult for ourselves. Stop complicating things for yourself.

 

Also, remember that the more you suppress your feelings, the more they will grow.

 

 

It really upsets me when I learn that there are guys like you. You can like a woman so much and yet refuse to do anything about it. It's sad to be honest. Stop wasting your time and just go for what you want. Just do it! You have one life. And trust me you are a winner regardless of the outcome.

[Gravity84]

U have no idea how silly this all sounds. You've liked this woman for a year and a half and still haven't asked her out. What exactly are u waiting for? And why on earth are u avoiding her? Why are u complicating things? You like someone, ask them out. Especially if you really like them and they are available. What on earth are you waiting for? Human beings are so complicated for no reason. We tend to make things difficult for ourselves. Stop complicating things for yourself.

 

Also, remember that the more you suppress your feelings, the more they will grow.

 

 

It really upsets me when I learn that there are guys like you. You can like a woman so much and yet refuse to do anything about it. It's sad to be honest. Stop wasting your time and just go for what you want. Just do it! You have one life. And trust me you are a winner regardless of the outcome.

 

Why should this upset you? It isn't hurting your bank account of disrupting your life in any form.

[Gloria25]

U have no idea how silly this all sounds. You've liked this woman for a year and a half and still haven't asked her out. What exactly are u waiting for? And why on earth are u avoiding her? Why are u complicating things? You like someone, ask them out. Especially if you really like them and they are available. What on earth are you waiting for? Human beings are so complicated for no reason. We tend to make things difficult for ourselves. Stop complicating things for yourself.

 

Also, remember that the more you suppress your feelings, the more they will grow.

 

 

It really upsets me when I learn that there are guys like you. You can like a woman so much and yet refuse to do anything about it. It's sad to be honest. Stop wasting your time and just go for what you want. Just do it! You have one life. And trust me you are a winner regardless of the outcome.

 

Cuz he's afraid she'll reject him...

 

I was reading some articles about this last nite, but like I said, I already jumped through hoops on reassuring him pf my interest, attraction and nothing...he still doubts.

 

Does he ever consider that I'm scared too? I even told him that I'm afraid that "he'd" be the one to dump me!!!

 

Geesh

[Gravity84]

Cuz he's afraid she'll reject him...

 

I was reading some articles about this last nite, but like I said, I already jumped through hoops on reassuring him pf my interest, attraction and nothing...he still doubts.

 

Does he ever consider that I'm scared too? I even told him that I'm afraid that "he'd" be the one to dump me!!!

 

Geesh

 

It is not nearly as common for women to be fearful of rejection. Even when they do get rejected they get over it faster than men do because they usually have more options than men.

[Gloria25]

Why should this upset you? It isn't hurting your bank account of disrupting your life in any form.

 

Why are you hurting your bank account to impress me instead of just having a coffee with me?

 

I'd be more impressed of you spending time WITH me.

 

I mean yes, the enthusiasm you have in doing those gestures has won my heart, but I would prefer time with you...not pics of your accomplishments/efforts to get my attention.

[Gloria25]

It is not nearly as common for women to be fearful of rejection. Even when they do get rejected they get over it faster than men do because they usually have more options than men.

 

Really, if I'm handling this rejection so well, then why am I here posting about it?

 

And you have options too, but obviously you want me. So, I'm wrong to want you despite my "options"?

 

Yes, I've been on a few dates, but just cuz there's guys available doesn't mean we want them.

 

Do you think I'm interested in you cuz I actually like you dude?

[Gravity84]

Why are you hurting your bank account to impress me instead of just having a coffee with me?

 

I'd be more impressed of you spending time WITH me.

 

I mean yes, the enthusiasm you have in doing those gestures has won my heart, but I would prefer time with you...not pics of your accomplishments/efforts to get my attention.

 

What if I am just making an effort to be extra helpful to you behind the scenes such as secretly doing chores and making sure you don't find out that I did it?

[Gravity84]

Really, if I'm handling this rejection so well, then why am I here posting about it?

 

And you have options too, but obviously you want me. So, I'm wrong to want you despite my "options"?

 

Yes, I've been on a few dates, but just cuz there's guys available doesn't mean we want them.

 

Do you think I'm interested in you cuz I actually like you dude?

 

I can't really speak to what you have posted about because I haven't been paying attention.

[Gloria25]

What if I am just making an effort to be extra helpful to you behind the scenes such as secretly doing chores and making sure you don't find out that I did it?

 

***pffft***

 

See, you're just like me. I'm the same way. I don't want people to know it was me who did the nice stuff

[Gravity84]

***pffft***

 

See, you're just like me. I'm the same way. I don't want people to know it was me who did the nice stuff

 

Yeah well I am good at sensing when my crush is up to something behind the scenes like that such as giving candy to another work colleague to give to me so that I won't know it was coming from her. If I think there's any chance she puts others up to giving me something then I decline. So she won't be able to do anything for me even in secret.