cookiemonster26 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I have become aware that one of my guys friends really like me and wants a relationship, and although I really enjoy hanging out with him and talking, I always feel a sense of dread if I think about kissing him or being intimate. Should I even bother giving him a chance if I already feel this way in the beggining? I also feel like it wouldn't work long term because I usually spend my days off hiking playing sports or snowboarding but he likes to stay home and play video games so I'm not sure if that's being too harsh?
GunslingerRoland Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I don't see any point in your case. If there weren't sparks after a first date, but a girl seemed nice I would give it a couple more when I was single though. But if you clearly know you aren't into the person, I don't see why you'd try to fake it.
Buddhist Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 No I would never do this. I'm far too happy with my own company to waste my time and someone else's by being in a relationship of convenience. 1
WaitingForBardot Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Never toy with or take anyone's emotions lightly, so no.
mrldii Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 No. (I would not date someone I'm not really into. 10 character requirement.)
kendahke Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I have become aware that one of my guys friends really like me and wants a relationship, and although I really enjoy hanging out with him and talking, I always feel a sense of dread if I think about kissing him or being intimate. Should I even bother giving him a chance if I already feel this way in the beggining? I also feel like it wouldn't work long term because I usually spend my days off hiking playing sports or snowboarding but he likes to stay home and play video games so I'm not sure if that's being too harsh? No. Be truthful with him about how you feel and don't lead him on thinking you're being nice or letting him down easy. You're not. That is being harsh, not standing in your truth and speaking from it. The sooner he starts the process of weaning off of you, the better for him to get on and find someone else who willingly chooses him.
Author cookiemonster26 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 No. Be truthful with him about how you feel and don't lead him on thinking you're being nice or letting him down easy. You're not. That is being harsh, not standing in your truth and speaking from it. The sooner he starts the process of weaning off of you, the better for him to get on and find someone else who willingly chooses him. I have explained why and that I am.not interested but his persistence game is strong hahaha
mystikmind2005 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 I think i see what is going on? Initially your overall respect for him is low, hence the lack of attraction. But his determination and never say die attitude is something you are beginning to respect, and hence your confusion begins and you end up coming here to ask. Am i right? If i am right, then you need to step back and figure out if you can fully respect him before asking the question if you can date him.
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 No, especially not if the person is a friend. Do understand that because this friend wants more then you can give s/he may distance themselves for a while. I tried dating men who just didn't "do it for me". Both were guys I met on OLD. I went on 1 date each with them & it was awful. They seemed so nice & so eager but all I wanted to do was have the date be over.
mystikmind2005 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 No, especially not if the person is a friend. Do understand that because this friend wants more then you can give s/he may distance themselves for a while. I tried dating men who just didn't "do it for me". Both were guys I met on OLD. I went on 1 date each with them & it was awful. They seemed so nice & so eager but all I wanted to do was have the date be over. Oh gosh, hehehe, i have been on dates with women having that disposition, its awful, us guys can tell. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Oh gosh, hehehe, i have been on dates with women having that disposition, its awful, us guys can tell. Sadly. The two I went out with didn't get it. The pain as they continued to pursue me AFTER I ended the dates by paying the checks and literally saying, "It was nice meeting you but I don't think we have a future. Good luck finding somebody who can give you everything you want but she's just not me," was awful. The one guy I had to threaten with a restraining order to get him to take Go the F away you lunatic for an answer.
Methodical Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 If I'm not into the person, no, I wouldn't. You may be grounded in your feelings for them being platonic, however, they may see the advancement or date as a sign of something more significant and that could end disastrously.
LuckyLady13 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 If this is a true friend of yours, don't. I made the mistake of doing this when I was about 17-ish and realized I wasn't going to get "into him" and broke it off. He never spoke to me again after telling me how bad I hurt him and to this day I feel bad. ...sorry Paul.
mystikmind2005 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Sadly. The two I went out with didn't get it. The pain as they continued to pursue me AFTER I ended the dates by paying the checks and literally saying, "It was nice meeting you but I don't think we have a future. Good luck finding somebody who can give you everything you want but she's just not me," was awful. The one guy I had to threaten with a restraining order to get him to take Go the F away you lunatic for an answer. Hmmm, well it stands to reason that any guy who does not know how to take rejection with dignity, is not going to have a good vibe that you would be attracted too in the first place, rite?
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