Miss Peach Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I have a great BF for the last 6 months. I'm in my 30s and he's in his 40s. Soon we have plans to go to a few social functions that are likely to include guys I've dated. None of them were long-term or BFs (usually 1-3 dates). Several of them ask if I'm still seeing my current BF when I run into them. So about half of them are just hoping that something happens and they get a chance. I plan to say hi and be polite if I run into them but don't really have plans to engage with them since I want to be respectful of BF. I've been debating how much of this to disclose to BF and when. None of these guys stand a chance while I'm with him. I don't normally disclose to BF all the guys who hit on me. But I don't want him to think/feel I am hiding anything or want these guys. When and how much should I disclose to BF?
Samhain Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Just treat them the same as you'd treat anyone else in passing. A polite hi if it's necessary or nothing at all. Focus on your boyfriend and enjoying the night together, nobody else matters. I'd wanna know if I was in the same room with my girl and someone else she dated, especially if she just greeted that guy, so it might be wise to just casually say you went on a couple of dates with that guy when you were single and getting out there. If they weren't serious relationships he probably wouldn't care all that much. Unless these dates involved a lot of sex! Then it might be a bit weird for him being in the same room as them but it's all down to what personality type he is I guess. So don't linger on too much detail but do be honest, as he might think there's a reason you are not disclosing things like that. I wouldn't overthink it too much though, just put all your thinking into knowing you're gonna be out with your man having a good time.
rester Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 You know your boyfriend better than anyone here, but if I were in his shoes, I don't think I'd care to know who you had 1-3 dates with. It's none of my business. What I would be looking for is how you react to men hitting on you at a social function that we're both at. It doesn't matter if you've slept with them in the past or not, if you make it clear that you are with me and that you are not interested, it doesn't matter what these other guys do. If he raises any questions afterwards, you could always explain you had 1-3 dates with so-and-so but that you were never interested in taking things further. I don't see why that should be an issue for him. That said, your boyfriend may be someone that prefers full disclosure about these things. You could always ask him. 1
thecrucible Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 It will probably go better than you think. I'd do what you are thinking of doing and just be polite and stick to pleasantries. If you don't engage in much conversation and none of these exes actually approach you to start up a conversation then there's no need to mention something out of blue. If any of the guys approach you when you are with your guy, you can explain how you know each other but in a very matter-of-fact way. If you don't make it into a big deal, he shouldn't. That's how I'd deal with it anyway.
Recommended Posts