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He thinks i'm lying to him and wants nothing to do with me, but I'm telling the truth

Ashleywill88

By Ashleywill88
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Ashleywill88 New Member

Ashleywill88

Posted
Posted

I've been with him for 3 year He's 28 and i'm 27. About a week ago, he told me basically needed time because his financial situation is really bad and he wants to get his life together. This was hard for me, and i fought for him at first, but now i've accepted his decision. Although he made this decision, we've still been really close -- we talk every other day or so and we're kind've just normal towards each other. So fast forwarding to yesterday, I know this may sound really embarrasing, but I rarely wear underwear (panties) when i'm wearing work clothes. I only do this if i'm wear pretty baggy work pants I do this. I just hate wearing them and i hardly ever wear underwear when i'm home. I've been doing this for a long time, but i guess he never noticed. So yesterday i was over his house and he asked me to change into his shorts instead of being in my work pants. So i did and he noticed I wasn't wearing any underwear. He got so outraged that I can't even put it in writing; he kept asking why the hell aren't you wearing underwear, you've never done this before, and so on. He also said that he's going to make sure to go have sex with another girl. I reassured him that I do this often and i actually went over his house several times after work and i didn't have underwear on. I would just change into his clothes and put his boxers on without him being around, or he just didn't notice before now. So I was really hurt, and even started crying just a little, because we claim that we trust each other; i was shocked at his entire reaction. He even tried to kick me out, but I stayed at this house for a couple hours after that and continued to reassure him that I always do this and i didn't do anything wrong. I'm just so hurt by this situation. Today i don't know if i should continue to try to prove to him that i wasn't lying or just leave this situation alone and not contact him. It's evident that he wants nothing to do with me

StBreton Established Member

StBreton

Posted
Posted

Have the two of you had an "intimate" relationship?

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Ashleywill88 New Member

Ashleywill88

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yes, did you read my post? We've been together for 3 years romantically.

AliOop Member

AliOop

Posted
Posted

He told you he was going to sleep with someone else because you don't wear underwear?

 

 

I'm thinking he's got some mental issues....this is just not normal.

 

 

You've done nothing wrong, but if you stay with him, that will be your wrong.

  • Like 3
lilmissjava Established Member

lilmissjava

Posted
Posted

It really is hard to believe that he did not know you never wore underwear considering you have been in an intimate relationship with him for 3 years. Was undressing you himself never a part of intimacy?

 

Come on.

 

Why are you still in contact with him anyway? You said you accepted his decision, so let him figure himself out.

  • Like 3
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
I've been with him for 3 year He's 28 and i'm 27. About a week ago, he told me basically needed time because his financial situation is really bad and he wants to get his life together. This was hard for me, and i fought for him at first, but now i've accepted his decision. Although he made this decision, we've still been really close -- we talk every other day or so and we're kind've just normal towards each other. So fast forwarding to yesterday, I know this may sound really embarrasing, but I rarely wear underwear (panties) when i'm wearing work clothes. I only do this if i'm wear pretty baggy work pants I do this. I just hate wearing them and i hardly ever wear underwear when i'm home. I've been doing this for a long time, but i guess he never noticed. So yesterday i was over his house and he asked me to change into his shorts instead of being in my work pants. So i did and he noticed I wasn't wearing any underwear. He got so outraged that I can't even put it in writing; he kept asking why the hell aren't you wearing underwear, you've never done this before, and so on. He also said that he's going to make sure to go have sex with another girl. I reassured him that I do this often and i actually went over his house several times after work and i didn't have underwear on. I would just change into his clothes and put his boxers on without him being around, or he just didn't notice before now. So I was really hurt, and even started crying just a little, because we claim that we trust each other; i was shocked at his entire reaction. He even tried to kick me out, but I stayed at this house for a couple hours after that and continued to reassure him that I always do this and i didn't do anything wrong. I'm just so hurt by this situation. Today i don't know if i should continue to try to prove to him that i wasn't lying or just leave this situation alone and not contact him. It's evident that he wants nothing to do with me

 

I'm confused. He basically broke up with you because his financial situation is bad, that is what you said early on in your above post.

 

Which is BS IMO, not buying it, he wanted out for other reasons.

 

But regardless, you're still seeing him, having sex?

 

And he basically accuses you of having sex with another dude cause you're not wearing underwear ...which you have never worn for the entire three years you've been seeing him.

 

Says HE is going to go out and have sex with another girl....

 

Sweetie, I am afraid he already IS having sex with another girl. He is projecting, and using your not wearing underwear to justify why he wants total OUT of this relationship.... probably to be with this other girl.

 

Block him, delete him, go no contact.

 

I'm sorry....:(

  • Like 5
LivingDeadGrl Established Member

LivingDeadGrl

Posted
Posted

After 3 years he doesn't know that you don't wear underwear? BS.

 

He's making up an excuse. Just like the whole financial BS. You've done nothing wrong, let him do what he wants.

  • Like 4
Methodical Established Member

Methodical

Posted
Posted (edited)

In life, we pick our battles, and a wise person picks them carefully based on detrimental issues to one's health, relationship, family, etc. Picking a fight over going commando is a childish smokescreen. Like others have posted, he's pretty much already checked out of this relationship. He is now justifying his actions by projecting his basis of his decision on his financial situation and blaming you for...not wearing panties. That's absolutely absurd. Projecting places blame on situations and other ppl, allowing him to move on with a clear conscience bc essentially he is a victim of circumstance which is BS.

 

I *might* could understand him wanting to break off the relationship if his financial situation was an issue for you, which has led to arguments or accusations of him being lazy or not having ambitions in life, but going ballistic over panties, or lack there of, NO.

Edited by Methodical
  • Like 1
CaliGypsy Established Member

CaliGypsy

Posted
Posted

Sounds to me like he's just making a lot of excuses for why he doesn't want to be with you. It sure sounds like there is more to it than meets the eye.

 

So you enjoy not wearing panties BFD. I don't like wearing panties and am not going to justify my reasons to anyone. Personally, I would have left the minute he started that line of questioning. Life is just too short.

  • Like 2
callingyouuu Established Member

callingyouuu

Posted
Posted
He told you he was going to sleep with someone else because you don't wear underwear?

 

Yeah, this makes absolutely no sense. Even if he somehow didn't notice this about you after 3 years, you decided not to wear underwear while going to his house; how does that suggest you were being intimate with another guy?

 

I'd just leave it alone and move on.

Wewon Established Member

Wewon

Posted
Posted

So yesterday i was over his house and he asked me to change into his shorts instead of being in my work pants. So i did and he noticed I wasn't wearing any underwear. He got so outraged that I can't even put it in writing; he kept asking why the hell aren't you wearing underwear, you've never done this before, and so on. He also said that he's going to make sure to go have sex with another girl. I reassured him that I do this often and i actually went over his house several times after work and i didn't have underwear on. I would just change into his clothes and put his boxers on without him being around, or he just didn't notice before now. So I was really hurt, and even started crying just a little, because we claim that we trust each other; i was shocked at his entire reaction.

 

He even tried to kick me out, but I stayed at this house for a couple hours after that and continued to reassure him that I always do this and i didn't do anything wrong. I'm just so hurt by this situation. Today i don't know if i should continue to try to prove to him that i wasn't lying or just leave this situation alone and not contact him. It's evident that he wants nothing to do with me

 

Either there is waaaay more to this story about the significance of underwear and what its implications are or you were dating a major nut-case for 3 years.

 

You were broken up, why is he concerned with your underwear?

 

Why would he feel the need to retaliate by sleeping with some girl or kicking you out?

 

The only response, without saying the guy was crazy is that you're intentionally portraying him in a bad light.

  • Like 1
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted

Sounds like he was looking for any flimsy reason. He was probably already screwing someone else and now he no longer has to feel guilty for that because he's latched onto a really, really stupid notion to justify him taking the tack he's taken with you.

 

But 3 years and he never noticed this about you? He's never paid any attention to you undressing in front of him, or do you not ever undress in front of him?

 

Well, he's free to do what he wants to do. He's already ended your relationship. I personally wouldn't try to fight for anything or try to be his friend. He's formed an opinion of you that buttresses him dumping you. You'd be a fool to try to cling to that any longer.

  • Like 2
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

This is what I see....his excuse about getting his act together financially is a smoke screen. And when you see smoke there is fire.

 

He has been with you for 3 years, and I do not buy that he never knew about your lack of wearing underwear.

 

Hun he was looking for some way to breakup with you. This underwear thing was his way to divert the blame because he is a coward.

 

The truth is, he wants out and has been planning it. He is a d ouche bag.

 

Don't be surprised to hear that he has already found someone else.

  • Like 1
Wewon Established Member

Wewon

Posted
Posted

I thought that the break up happened before the underwear meltdown.

 

Basically he was reading the riot act to his ex at the time, which only adds to the craziness of it all.

  • Like 1
WaitingForBardot Established Member

WaitingForBardot

Posted
Posted

Kay, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that he was going to go find a woman to have sex with when he already had one in front of him without her underwear on... :p

 

 

Sorry, I'm from America where we still confuse sex with nudity... ..lol..

Miss Peach Established Member

Miss Peach

Posted
Posted

I have an ex that used to do things like the underwear thing. I later learned it's not normal.

Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted

I just think you could have titled this thread better, something like Boyfriend Is Upset I Go Commando. :lmao:

 

The guys a fruit, assuming there isn't some other backstory you are hiding. Why women cling to losers I will have no idea, ever. There are just too many single guys out there to bother with this ****..

  • Like 1
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
I've been with him for 3 year He's 28 and i'm 27. About a week ago, he told me basically needed time because his financial situation is really bad and he wants to get his life together. This was hard for me, and i fought for him at first, but now i've accepted his decision. Although he made this decision, we've still been really close -- we talk every other day or so and we're kind've just normal towards each other. So fast forwarding to yesterday, I know this may sound really embarrasing, but I rarely wear underwear (panties) when i'm wearing work clothes. I only do this if i'm wear pretty baggy work pants I do this. I just hate wearing them and i hardly ever wear underwear when i'm home. I've been doing this for a long time, but i guess he never noticed. So yesterday i was over his house and he asked me to change into his shorts instead of being in my work pants. So i did and he noticed I wasn't wearing any underwear. He got so outraged that I can't even put it in writing; he kept asking why the hell aren't you wearing underwear, you've never done this before, and so on. He also said that he's going to make sure to go have sex with another girl. I reassured him that I do this often and i actually went over his house several times after work and i didn't have underwear on. I would just change into his clothes and put his boxers on without him being around, or he just didn't notice before now. So I was really hurt, and even started crying just a little, because we claim that we trust each other; i was shocked at his entire reaction. He even tried to kick me out, but I stayed at this house for a couple hours after that and continued to reassure him that I always do this and i didn't do anything wrong. I'm just so hurt by this situation. Today i don't know if i should continue to try to prove to him that i wasn't lying or just leave this situation alone and not contact him. It's evident that he wants nothing to do with me

 

He is stressed out about his financial situation, is torn about whether to move on from you, and is looking for something to blame his final decision on.

 

Don't reach out to him anymore. You need to let this situation and him calm down. He won't be able to do that if you keep picking at it. There's no way to prove something like that anyway. Either he calms down and recollects at some point that he's seen that before, or he just uses it to end things once and for all.

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