ShyLove Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I went on a date last week with a guy I met Online and it went pretty well. He texted me after the first date and said I was awesome and beautiful and continued to make small texting talk throughout the night. Then he texted me two days later letting me know that he will be busy for work (he just got hired at a law firm a few months ago) and had some social engagements coming up but that he wants me to know that he is interested in me and wanted to tell me because he knew if he didn't "someone else would come along and lock it down" lol Cute. He keeps in regular contact and he's doing everything right. So now we have a date scheduled for tmrw night. I have dates coming up with others too so he is not my only option but he is a front runner based off the first date. The only thing that may turn me off a little is that he always wants to make it known when he's hanging out with female friends. He sends me pictures of them when hanging out. He made it a point to tell me he's watching his female friend's dance show and last night he made it a point to tell me he's at a female friend's for dinner. These are a few different girls. Now I don't care that he hangs out with girls I'm not jealous one bit but the fact that he seems to want me to know is kind of a turn off like "hey look at me I hang out with girls and I want to show you how much I do" haha It seems like something a high school or young 20 something girl would do to make her crush jealous, not a grown man in his 30s. Maybe because I work along side a psychologist and I'm over analyzing but for me that reeks of some insecurity. I dated a guy awhile back who was a little chubby and had a chipped tooth in the front but he grew on me with his personality. Guys would sometimes hit on me in front of him and then he would start to always say how all these really hot and beautiful girls hit on him all the time and he could have anyone he wants lol ummm we live in Hollywood and I'm sorry but 9s and 10s are not chasing a chubby guy with a chipped tooth who is too cheap to take a girl to dinner lol (I knew it was BS and he later admitted it was a year after we stopped talking). I'm not from California so I like more of the "average" guy not a cocky flashy wana be actor/model/director/writer. I feel like this is the same sort of situation and its actually kind of turning me off. I live by the motto "confidence is quiet and insecurities are loud." As I said before it seems a little high school girlish to me. When he sends me the pictures I just write "awww you guys look great!" Or "wow that looks really fun!" and I mean it, but I could never imagine myself sending a guy I went on one date with pictures of me hanging out with my male friends. Why would any guy care to see that? Guys what do you think? Thanks!!
Redfisher Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Seems odd to me, He should know that's kinda a put off to a new women... 1
Glitters Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 It's insecurity and low self confidence. Obnoxious also comes to mind. 5
lilmissjava Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 It's a sh*t test. He wants to see if it provokes any jealousy or irrational thinking towards him. He might be used to that kind of drama. Maybe not, but that was my go to reaction. 2
Author ShyLove Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 It's a sh*t test. He wants to see if it provokes any jealousy or irrational thinking towards him. He might be used to that kind of drama. Maybe not, but that was my go to reaction. Good point. I read a post on another site the other day about guys pretending they don't like drama but actually do. And based on a lot of threads on this forum there may be something to that. I once had a guy say he didn't know if he could date me seriously bc I didn't care that he wanted to watch football on Sunday's with his friends. He said that made him think I didn't care about him!!! Wow!! I was completely turned off after that lol 3
xcupid Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Sounds like he's immature and/or insecure and wants to show how popular he is in the hope that you want him more. 4
stillafool Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Isn't he honest. Well maybe he doesn't mind when you have dinner or hang out with your guy friends. Be sure to let him know about it. 2
Author ShyLove Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 Sounds like he's immature and/or insecure and wants to show how popular he is in the hope that you want him more. This is what I was leaning towards the most.
StBreton Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) He's insecure. No guy has ever sent me pix of him with other girls. That's just weird. Even if he's checking if you have any "psycho crazy girl" in you by gauging your reaction...it's still not cool. He can vet you by actually spending time with you in a mature fashion. If I were you, I wouldn't even respond with any return text when he sends the pix. I wouldn't engage in the obnoxious behavior. I'd rather spend my precious time sending a quick note to a family member or friend. In OLD ... I don't respond to guys who message me if on their profile they have several pix of themselves with other woman. My first thought is always ...ok what are you trying to prove? No thanks. If you really like this guy and decide to go forward...I'd call him on his BS behavior and just say, "Look I'm not jealous but not interested in your pix with other women." Then I'd ask him if he's trying to "friendzone" you (and I personally do not like that word but it works here). Can you imagine if you sent pix of yourself out with other guys to a guy to whom you were interested??! That guy would instantly disappear. No guy wants to be disrespected like that. This guy is disrespecting you. My vote: Insecure AND clueless Edited November 19, 2015 by StBreton 1
Author ShyLove Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 He's insecure. No guy has ever sent me pix of him with other girls. That's just weird. Even if he's checking if you have any "psycho crazy girl" in you by gauging your reaction...it's still not cool. He can vet you by actually spending time with you in a mature fashion. If I were you, I wouldn't even respond with any return text when he sends the pix. I wouldn't engage in the obnoxious behavior. I'd rather spend my precious time sending a quick note to a family member or friend. In OLD ... I don't respond to guys who message me if on their profile they have several pix of themselves with other woman. My first thought is always ...ok what are you trying to prove? No thanks. If you really like this guy and decide to go forward...I'd call him on his BS behavior and just say, "Look I'm not jealous but not interested in your pix with other women." Then I'd ask him if he's trying to "friendzone" you (and I personally do not like that word but it works here). Can you imagine if you sent pix of yourself out with other guys to a guy to whom you were interested??! That guy would instantly disappear. No guy wants to be disrespected like that. This guy is disrespecting you. My vote: Insecure AND clueless Haha I like you. I agree when guys have girls all in their online profile it reeks of hey look how cool I am , like they need to over compensate for something and I write them off also. I thought of not responding bc I really don't have anything to say but then I didn't know if not responding would make it look like I was jealous. So I just wrote things like "Awww cute". Last night when he told me he was at dinner with a female friend I wrote "enjoy your night don't worry about texting me I have some things to do now anyway. Have fun!!" And he wrote back "us that your way of telling me to shut up?" Lol well yes in a way it was but of course I didn't write that lol I'll just see how tomorrow night goes and judge from there. I may have an update question on Saturday lol
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