maru_h Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I've been talking to this girl I really like for about 2 weeks now. I haven't met her in person yet, but she has expressed that she's looking for a relationship. I actually plan on surprising her at work this weekend. We have each other added on Facebook, we've Skyped once, and we text/snapchat everyday. I have already dropped many hints that I like her. I've called her cute, adorable, beautiful, etc. Anyways, the point is that I noticed a big decrease in the amount we text. We used to have fairly decent conversations for the first week (25-40 messages), but I noticed a drastic decrease as we now only send each other 7-8 messages on a daily basis. I always send her a good morning / goodnight text, and just a few small talks or jokes back and forth. She occasionally sends me a few snapchats (she downloaded it just for me) Then that's it for the day. I'm not expecting a long conversation daily, but I guess it just doesn't seem right. So I'm wondering.. how much texting is too much? Is our amount fairly normal? One thing I noticed as well is that I start 95% of the conversation. Should I try not to text her for a few days and wait for her to initiate? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks! p.s she always responds immediately with lots of smileys and enthusiasm. I just don't want to over-do it and make it boring quick.
kendahke Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I think it depends upon the person, but for me, I'm suspicious of anyone who only wants to conduct a relationship through a device and never meeting in person. After a week, there should be an in person meeting. If they balk at that, then you're dealing with a catfish and you need to leave them alone. 3
Ic1 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I don't think you should let texting or any electronic communication cut into time spent one-on-one, EVER. This isn't just having fewer plans because you text enough to stay in touch, but having less to talk about verbally because it was already covered electronically.
Author maru_h Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I think it depends upon the person, but for me, I'm suspicious of anyone who only wants to conduct a relationship through a device and never meeting in person. After a week, there should be an in person meeting. If they balk at that, then you're dealing with a catfish and you need to leave them alone. She's been sick over the week, so I guess the situation wasn't right. We've Skype'd, so she's not a catfish. Thanks for looking out though!
clia Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 She may just be losing enthusiasm for texting with someone she hasn't even met. I personally think 7-8 messages a day is more than enough at this point. And...please don't surprise her at work for your first meeting. Ask her out on a proper date. Soon. 5
Redfisher Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 She may just be losing enthusiasm for texting with someone she hasn't even met. I personally think 7-8 messages a day is more than enough at this point. And...please don't surprise her at work for your first meeting. Ask her out on a proper date. Soon. yes...Very creepy, 2
Glitters Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 If you want to compare 25-40 messages a day to 7-8, then yes, it's a lot less but this kind of communication is meaningless. You guys need to talk one on one Showing up at work , don't do that.
Lois_Griffin Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 You haven't been 'talking.' You've been typing. That's not human interaction. Unless she's a barista at a coffee shop or a bartender, showing up at her work is creepy and inappropriate. 2
Glitters Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 You haven't been 'talking.' You've been typing.
jen1447 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Normal depends entirely on the ppl involved. I'm a big texter so many many texts in a day is normal, but others maybe not so much. Point is don't look for some arbitrary figure as a guide - do what feels comfy to the both of you together. If she's dropping way off, that's usually not a good sign. Sorry. 2
kendahke Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 She's been sick over the week, so I guess the situation wasn't right. We've Skype'd, so she's not a catfish. Thanks for looking out though! Not necessarily. I follow a romance scam busting page on FB and they were talking about how catfish are that sophisticated that they can create a loop of still pictures to make it look like skype video, but in fact, it's not video. Insist upon meeting in person asap--then you can say they're not a catfish.
Miss Peach Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I've had a few guys text me a lot with no plans to meet IRL. I am very suspicious of that behavior. I tend to drop guys after a few weeks if they don't make plans with me.
thecrucible Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Many women will see guys who talk to them a lot without suggesting a meeting as a little flaky and unwilling to put in the effort for them. Think about a social media meme where people get really excited about a topic and then it dies down after a few days. Basically, where I'm going with this is that there's a window of opportunity where enthusiasm is at its highest and this the point where you should ask her out rather than let it drag on for days. Otherwise it kills the mystery. You need to grab the bull by the horns and try to take things to the next level. Trust me, hints never work. Nothing is real until it happens in real life. Also don't turn up at her work as that would come across as creepy. Your next action? You could ask her out to do something rather than hinting and take it from there. 1
truth_seeker Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 I met a woman on Tinder about a month ago. Texted the the first day we matched. Second day continued texting. Third day she gave me her number and we continued texting. Honestly, I got burned out. It was like 72 hours of texting straight. I was done with her.
AliOop Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 I must be the only person on Earth saying this, but I don't text. I actually WON'T text. Same with Facebook; not on it, never will be. Texting and Facebook seem to complicate relations in the strangest ways. Considering that there are tons of messages here on LS about both subjects........no, thanks. If someone wants to contact me, the phone is it.
katiegrl Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) OP, what is preventing you from meeting in person? And please DO NOT surprise her at work! Had a guy do that once ..not only was I completely turned off, but I thought he must be rather psycho for imposing on me at my workplace with no warning. I was also very embarrassed in front of my co-workes,, so don't do it. Why not suggest coffee or ice cream when she is feeling better? My guess is she is seeking a date not a texting buddy. Edited November 20, 2015 by katiegrl
Recommended Posts