1q3455402828193 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I wanted to know if any of you had a relationship with someone who was significantly younger than you. How was it? Any challenges presented due to the age difference? I like this guy who is 14 years older than and I think he is very nervous about the age gap. So much so, that when I told him how I felt over FB messenger, he hasn't responded. Prior to this situation, we have messaging each other every week...keeping in contact while I'm 500 miles away at this time. When he have been face-to-face, he body language shows that he likes me....ALOT. Any guys out there ever had the same nervousness about dating someone younger? I'm 21 and he's 35.
lilmissjava Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 My situation the age gap was by 20 (twenty) years. Of course it was a challenge, but it wasn't the reason why the relationship was severed. Jealousy, insecurity, controlling and abusive behavior on his part is what broke us, traits that exist in some guys at any age. I am sure he will be hesitant of the age gap probably because he is now over his "roaring 20's". You however, have much growth and experiencing to do as you are just a young adult and things such as relationships should not be a priority at this time of your life. Perhaps he recognizes this?
GunslingerRoland Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 As a man in my mid to late 30's I'd feel weird dating a woman that young. Huge generational gap, people grew up way differently in the 80's than in the 2000's. At almost halfway to retirement the thought of dating someone straight out of (or still in) school is very disconcerting. Honestly I think I'd have more in common with a woman in her early 50's than early 20's.
Ic1 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 we have messaging each other every week...keeping in contact while I'm 500 miles away at this time. When he have been face-to-face, he body language shows that he likes me....ALOT. You only contact every week, and he's 500 miles away!? That's a HUGE risk for you to be in a relationship with him! Age difference is nothing compared to this. things such as relationships should not be a priority at this time of your life. I heavily agree with lilmissjava, in that relationships should not be a priority in your early 20's. If you were to date this distant man so far in connection (little communication) and miles, you'd inevitably be compromising other aspects of your life for a relationship. 1
Iceshowers Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I got with a man 11 years older than me. I thought I found someone my pace because I was a mature 23 year old, and on the outside he seemed like a put together 34 year old. Until I moved in and I found out he was nothing but a mess! Still hasn't gotten his life together, 4 kids with 3 different mothers, can't pay his bills, he wanted everything his way, wanted to go out and do his own things and I had to stay home and care for his kids and house. So, while some relationships like that works, you have to make sure you know who you're dealing with and if you're both in the same page. I just wouldn't date a man older than 5 years now.
central Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Large age gap relationships can work, but have additional challenges to overcome the greater the gap, and the older the you get. It can get especially problematical when the older reaches retirement age and beyond, particularly if the younger person must continue working and the older one begins to have health problems. The risk of splitting up becomes much higher then, IMO. If a FWB counts as a relationship, then I've been in one for nearly 5 years with a woman over 25 years younger. We enjoy it for what it is, and are cognizant of future problems - which is why it will probably revert to just friendship someday.
Buddhist Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Two of these threads in 2 days. Couldn't you have just looked up the thread posted about it yesterday? No-one has changed their minds on the issue. 2
truth_seeker Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I wanted to know if any of you had a relationship with someone who was significantly younger than you. How was it? Any challenges presented due to the age difference? I like this guy who is 14 years older than and I think he is very nervous about the age gap. So much so, that when I told him how I felt over FB messenger, he hasn't responded. Prior to this situation, we have messaging each other every week...keeping in contact while I'm 500 miles away at this time. When he have been face-to-face, he body language shows that he likes me....ALOT. Any guys out there ever had the same nervousness about dating someone younger? I'm 21 and he's 35. My issue with this age gap is that you're still in school - or still could be in school. If you were out of school a couple of years (24-25) then it would be okay.
Author 1q3455402828193 Posted February 13, 2016 Author Posted February 13, 2016 To answer your question...both threads refer to the same situation but ask 2 SEPARATE questions. This thread is in regards to relationships with age gaps in general. The other thread is about a specific situation in regards to a message I sent to the guy.
Author 1q3455402828193 Posted February 13, 2016 Author Posted February 13, 2016 So, I messaged him back in October, clearly letting him know how I felt. He never told me that he didn't like me, just didn't feel comfortable going that route with me. So, I stopped communicating with him because I needed to separate my feelings from the situation in order to move forward. Apparently, last month my mom spoke to him (I told her what was going on). Based on their conversation, he was shocked when I told him how I felt. He felt bad for weeks because I stopped all communication with him. He told my mom that I was a special person to him. For some reason, he was very apologetic....even thought my mom was mad at him. But my mom reassured him that she wasnt mad...even jokingly told him that she would've been honored to have him as a son-in-law (parents can be so EXTRA). So, couple of weeks ago, I reached out to him to bury the hatchet. And I guess we're good now since communication is back to how it originally was. My mom thinks that he likes me, but she also feels like something is holding him back from pursuing me. I agree. But, I've decided to leave it alone. Whatever happens from here on out, will happen if it's meant to be. I'm no longer pursuing him in that way. I've decided to take this time and focus on myself. I've cut all guys out of the picture. This is my last semester of college. So, that's what I'm focused on.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 So, I messaged him back in October, clearly letting him know how I felt. He never told me that he didn't like me, just didn't feel comfortable going that route with me. So, I stopped communicating with him because I needed to separate my feelings from the situation in order to move forward. Apparently, last month my mom spoke to him (I told her what was going on). Based on their conversation, he was shocked when I told him how I felt. He felt bad for weeks because I stopped all communication with him. He told my mom that I was a special person to him. For some reason, he was very apologetic....even thought my mom was mad at him. But my mom reassured him that she wasnt mad...even jokingly told him that she would've been honored to have him as a son-in-law (parents can be so EXTRA). So, couple of weeks ago, I reached out to him to bury the hatchet. And I guess we're good now since communication is back to how it originally was. My mom thinks that he likes me, but she also feels like something is holding him back from pursuing me. I agree. But, I've decided to leave it alone. Whatever happens from here on out, will happen if it's meant to be. I'm no longer pursuing him in that way. I've decided to take this time and focus on myself. I've cut all guys out of the picture. This is my last semester of college. So, that's what I'm focused on. I was about to comment that age gaps can be workable (I am 34 and my boyfriend is 48)...until I read this part about your mom. Girl, your mom should not be having these types of conversations with a guy you're dating. That right there would tell me your mom still parents you the way she would a much younger girl, which I can almost guarantee would make him hesitate about dating you. You have yet to become independent from her, in this regard. Men around my age (as I gather I'm the same age as your crush) would not want their girlfriend's mom getting into their personal business! They want a mature woman who can handle herself and stand on her own two feet. Mom intervening is no bueno, OP.
Zippy2000 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) As a man in my mid to late 30's I'd feel weird dating a woman that young. Huge generational gap, people grew up way differently in the 80's than in the 2000's. At almost halfway to retirement the thought of dating someone straight out of (or still in) school is very disconcerting. Honestly I think I'd have more in common with a woman in her early 50's than early 20's. Well I get what you say but how about my situation. Im 41 and the girl I like is 25. I like modern pop music and the girl I m seeing likes music from the 70s like Supertramp. A 70s band. Her music taste was more mature than mine. Age gaps can work. My work colleague is married but when he met his wife she was 24 and he was 44! Edited February 13, 2016 by Zippy2000
yxalitis Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Jesus, use the search function: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/566465-dating-much-younger-girl 300 posts!
Recommended Posts