Zorrloft Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. It was sudden and the only explanation she gave me was that she didn't want to date anyone, that she needed to focus on herself (she was going through a divorce), and that it was difficult for her because I was exactly what she wanted long term. This didn't give me a clean break at all. In fact it left me hanging on for hope. We talked for months afterwards, but all about non-sense and she rejected my advances to try to get back together. Eventually, I went straight NC on her, and blocked from social media. Very quickly the communication dropped to zero. For me, she will always be the one that got away. And, over time, I have been getting to a better place. Yesterday, she created an online dating profile and showed up 1st in my search criteria. Every emotion I've been working to eliminate came rushing back. Emotions are one thing, but I'm stuck with why we broke up in the first place. We never fought or had issues. In fact, we talked about a lot of long term plans. For her to end it by saying I was what she wanted long term, yet is now showing up on a dating site makes no sense. I can only assume she didn't have the courage to tell me why she wanted to break up in the first place, and used that as some sort of excuse. The right thing to do is to block her profile and start the healing all over. But I need an explanation, I need to know that the door has been closed forever. Despite all of the logic in the world, I feel I need to reach out to her and see if she is willing to try again. She is clearly looking to date now, so she can't use that as an excuse anymore... so her response can only be "No, she doesn't see a future with me", or "Yes, let's talk and see where it goes". I kind of need to hear her say 'No', so I can move on and not hang on to the hope of "I was exactly what she wanted long term". Thoughts? Similar experiences?
LostOnes05 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Sorry you're going through this bro. People say A LOT of stuff they don't mean. In my case, If I say something you better believe I mean it. I've had women do the exact same thing to me. All you can do is give yourself closure. You don't need her to tell you why. The bottomline is that if she wanted to be with you, she would find a way to contact you trust me. Whatever her reason, you have to find the power to say it doesn't matter and move forward with life (baby steps count too!). I've explicitly told women I would not chase them when they broke up with me. A few months of not hearing from me and some suddenly reached out, others never did. This usually happened when I was over them and getting to know someone else. But for me, if I'm treated badly just so you can justify breaking up with me don't expect a welcoming party. I'm not rude but they are no longer my priority, so if it takes me 2-3 days to get back to them so be it. Remember that you are your first priority. If something is getting in the way of that, then you have to re-evaluate your thinking (easier said than done...I know). I'm going through something similar, but for the love of all things natural and good I have no idea why she keeps randomly contacting me. Once was to take a shot at me that's for sure but it didn't bother me, so I guess she is still trying to get under my skin lol.
mightycpa Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 If she just got divorced, you don't want to be her rebound. She'll date a few guys, because she's got a few things to prove. Unfortunately for you, one of those things is it wasn't the sex that broke us up Greener pastures lie elsewhere, I'm sure of it. Oh, and by the way, you really don't need to know why, even if you think you do. All you're going to do is judge: That's true, and good enough reason.That's true, but it's no reason to break upTrue, but I can change.Not true, but I can see how you'd think that.Not true! Somebody is making that up.Why didn't you say something before?
Recommended Posts