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Love or not love


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Posted

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months. When we met he had seen me at a wake while with his gf of 9 years. Apparently he was instantly attracted to me. His gf had cheated on him and after they tried to make it work it just wasn't happening and they went on their separate ways. Him and I began hanging out and next thing I knew we were falling in love before anyone knew what was happening. About 6 months into relationship is when conflicts started to arise. I discovered his low life friends and the pot smoking. I was discovering things he was lying to me about. Petty stuff like how he was home but later I'd find out he was really at these friends house I had never even heard about. Then I would look through his phone which I have admitted to him where I found how deep this issue went with these friends. He of course blames me that he doesn't tell me bc I get mad at everything. I get mad bc of the secrecy and lies. Then other day he cleaned his closet out and found a few old pieces of clothing that were his ex and he texted her asking if she wanted it back after all this time. What would he have done should she had said yes. Last night we talked about how much this all hurts and he really assured me he loves me and cares about me however he's been really hurt before so if I wanted to leave him he would put up a little fight but that he'd be OK bc he's been hurt before.

 

So basically I just don't know if continuing in such a relationship is even worth it. Back in July I found lip gloss in his car and a girls lighter in his room. When he saw I was upset he blew up saying it was his eyes from when they dated and it has been left in his car all this time and how I never believe him. It is constant things like this but then he will act real loving and I think it's OK till next time.

Posted

A healthy and happy relationship is based on trust and respect. If you don't have either of those things then perhaps it's time to move on.

Posted

Oh my goodness, why are you even wasting your time with this loser?

 

You should dump him so quick you need to FedEx his shadow to him.

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Posted

Low life friends. Lies. You either believe him and trust him or you don't. If you don't, time to move onto someone better - which seems like a good idea in this case IMO.

Posted

I agree with all the above. You will never find trust...never with this guy.

Posted

I would say, and this is coming from personal experience, once you have to start digging for the truth, it's over.

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Posted

I know deep down u should move on. But I hate being alone and I'm do used to being w him every weekend for over a year that I don't know what to do with myself. But I know that's not a reason to stay. I mean I do have feelings for him but I just feel exhausted like it's not worth it. I'm 29 I wanna get married and I don't see it happening with him.

Posted

Exactly - we don't want to see you here with the same guy and the same problems, when you're 30 or 31 or 35! And believe me, if you stay with him, that is exactly what will happen.

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