Nina1995 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Ahhh... Here again... I won't act like we aren't on the same page hubby and I are both into some kinky stuff and really enjoy it together however lately because I do accept masturbation and porn as a healthy thing for a man to do I feel that maybe he has taken it too far and I have became the 2nd best. When we first found out about our kinks and decided to actively explore it together it was great! He still masturbated but not as often as he would race home to use me however he wanted. I recently found out he has been masturbating at work for the last month or so. EVERYDAY. Now this wouldn't be such an issue if it wasn't for a few things. A) It does affect the quality of our sex he struggles to get off, stay hard and just enjoy it. B) He never used to close his eyes now it's all the time like he is trying extremely hard to visualize the porn he wanked to that day. AND C) The last month he has been really into BC Celeb fakes particularly Emma Watson. I never felt insecure before but he is wanking to her everyday comes home and just doesn't want to and if he does cave I feel like he is struggling. I have talked to him about this several times but there is more chance of me accepting this than there is of him changing. I guess I would just like to feel wanted again, that I am enough and not just a substitute that doesn't work as well as a photo and his left hand.. PS I won't break up this isn't a deal breaker and he is an amazing person inside and out everyone has their vices this is just his.
BlueIris Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Me: The thing that first popped into my mind was, "what kind of job does he have? and "that guy's going to get fired." My BF's response: The guy has become addicted to internet porn. He as an addiction... and... at his JOB?!?!?! I can't imagine a job where you can be masturbating all the time. That's a lot of trips to the bathroom. You deserve to be loved and wanted. 1
Author Nina1995 Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 Yeah I was shocked too.. He has an office job so there is that. I'm concerned about his addiction but how can i confront it without ****ing up our relationship?
TheArtist Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Yeah, he's become addicted to porn. There are some great TED talks about this stuff. Porn does affect the way your mind sees intimacy (i.e. it trains you not to need it) and it definitely affects performance. Go to YouTube and search 'TEDx porn' and there are some valuable insights into what is going on. It's an addiction and I'm not sure how you would approach it, but he needs to see a therapist and start coming off it. Um, so to speak. 1
mystikmind2005 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Let me get this streight... here is a guy who has a woman waiting at home, a woman who is ready and willing to explore kink and porn,,, and, and, he wants to wank at work????? ahhh, he got problem yea
TheArtist Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You might actually be able to find some answers on NoFap. It's a community that is steadily growing and is all about the problem you're experiencing. There is support for partners too, and there might be some advice on there. NoFap | NoFap® - Get a new grip on life
Author Nina1995 Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 Thanks everyone for your replys
BlueIris Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Yeah I was shocked too.. He has an office job so there is that. I'm concerned about his addiction but how can i confront it without ****ing up our relationship? The relationship is already ****ed up. The ship's sinking. Get into the lifeboat yourself, for yourself, so you don't go down with him. I think you have to accept that and give the "get help or it's done" talk. You have to be ready to walk and to accept that this will get worse. There's a VERY GOOD chance that he's going to lose his job and fall deeper and deeper. Addictions are like that. 1
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