SixthSt.Girl Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 There is a guy who has been interested in me (or so I thought?) for awhile. He is the boss' brother. He doesn't come in the store that much, but when he does, he always asks me to come to his church. If this sounds familiar, I did post about it before - should be a few pages back now. I thought it was a little strange because he never asks the manager or the previous manager. I even said "why don't you ask Carla when she comes in - she might want to come, too." He said well, why don't you ask her. I don't want to give her the wrong idea." He has commented on my appearance before and the other day gave me a hug out of the blue. I have been unsure about my feelings for him - I didn't know if the church was some kind of game plan or what. I was also in a relationship, so I backed away. When he hugged me, I just turned cold and really didn't know what to say. He rushed out of the store - I could tell he was either hurt or embarrassed. I felt bad about it because he has always been really nice to me. I have been feeling a little vulnerable lately, and really am making an effort to reach out to those who reach out to me. I thought about calling him or finding an excuse to meet up with him in person. I'm really not sure what I wanted out of it - friendship? more? I consulted a male friend, also a football board I post at which is full of guys. They all suggested I make the move. It's really not in my personality to do so, so I sent him a letter in the mail. I basically said that I do like him, am sorry if he thought I was rude, but I've been unsure about my feelings toward him. I said it's been good having friends around since I'm going through some career stuff - trying to find the right job - and that I appreciate his kindness. I said I would like to see his church if the invitation is still there. Basically, that's it. I tried to keep it brief. He would've gotten it yesterday, I think, and I've been nervous thinking whether or not I did the right thing. I have not heard from him at all. I had said that if he wanted to talk outside of work (cause it's very awkward at work), then let me know - that I wanted to be friendly with him at least, but if he didn't then no hard feelings. I'm afraid it's a bad sign that I haven't heard from him yet - I'm afraid he'll think I'm a fool or tell people (mainly his brother, my boss) and they will laugh or think it's unprofessional. The truth is that this workplace has always been unprofessional. The boss and his brothers are noted for being flirty, and two out of three have flirted with me, not to mention past associates. Maybe I'm wrong and this guy did not want any kind of relationship with me, but even my co-workers have mentioned his behavior towards me! I'm just totally confused. Did I make a wrong move? This is for guys especially. I did the same exact thing to another guy I was interested in (and vice versa) - he called me right away and we started dating. Not that that's what I want with this guy, but I at least wanted a friendly relationship. I don't get along with his brother (not my boss) because of an arguement we had - his personality is really cocky and we just don't get along. That's also why I worte the note - because I didn't want that bad relationship with this guy. Any thoughts? I feel anxious, but there's nothing I can do. I just want so much to know what his reaction was....
Marshbear Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 The fact that you are so anxious says that you like him. I see nothing wrong with sending him the note. You told him how you feel (and that is a good thing). So many women expect guys to guess by swimming through the swamp ( hints ) and discover their feelings. I would say the ball is in his court. If he wants to get to know you then I would think he would at least invite you to church. Maybe he is thinking if he can just "be friends" with you and is analyzing his feelings. You are unsure, maybe he is too. I would give him so space and when you see him don't even bring up the note unless he does. The conversation will tell you what he has decided. Good Luck...
Author SixthSt.Girl Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 [color=violet]You are unsure, maybe he is too. I would give him so space and when you see him don't even bring up the note unless he does. The conversation will tell you what he has decided.[/color] Oh yeah, it's his move to make, and I am definitely not initiating contact with him. When/if I see him at work, I'm going to be cool and let him do all the talking. If he is like his brothers, he likes to be in control... Thanks for your response.
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