Zippy2000 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 When he isn't away working I see him probably every other day. We've spent every weekend together since we started seeing each other. And you say you arent the clingy type? Well no one has said it here but his communication and time seeing you will reduce more and more as you get more comfortable with each other. This is called the "cooling off" period. You say youre not clingy. I beg to differ. When things cool off you and you want more contact then things arent going to work out well. Have you looked in to your personality type? "Anxious/attached" while he may be more "secure".
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 And you say you arent the clingy type? Well no one has said it here but his communication and time seeing you will reduce more and more as you get more comfortable with each other. This is called the "cooling off" period. You say youre not clingy. I beg to differ. When things cool off you and you want more contact then things arent going to work out well. Have you looked in to your personality type? "Anxious/attached" while he may be more "secure". Sorry but, expecting someone to take 20 seconds out of their day to say good morning when you have barely spoken to them at all, or show me that they are thinking about me while busy, is not being clingy. If you read any of the other posts, you would see that when he works for however many days, I don't talk to him barely at all. I just want to know what his deal is. If you're into someone, you make time for them, even if it's just a measly text. I realize working long hours and getting little sleep makes it harder, but all I am wanting is some real acknowledgement. If you really like someone, this shouldn't be so hard. If this is how he normally is, well then maybe he's just not for me. I'm no longer making an effort. Anyone else in my position would feel the person is no longer interested, so that is how I am taking it. 2
katiegrl Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Sorry but, expecting someone to take 20 seconds out of their day to say good morning when you have barely spoken to them at all, or show me that they are thinking about me while busy, is not being clingy. If you read any of the other posts, you would see that when he works for however many days, I don't talk to him barely at all. I just want to know what his deal is. If you're into someone, you make time for them, even if it's just a measly text. I realize working long hours and getting little sleep makes it harder, but all I am wanting is some real acknowledgement. If you really like someone, this shouldn't be so hard. If this is how he normally is, well then maybe he's just not for me. I'm no longer making an effort. Anyone else in my position would feel the person is no longer interested, so that is how I am taking it. I agree and not only that, but when he does decide to get in touch, all he says is "16 hours." WTF is that anyway? I am thinking he may have a form of autism or something ....the guy doesn't have a clue! Even assuming he doesn't care or is pulling back ...a simple "good morning" would have been nice ....instead of an ambiguous, cold and impersonal "16 hours.". I would have rather him sending nothing than that cold shyt.... Jeez. 2
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I agree and not only that, but when he does decide to get in touch, all he says is "16 hours." WTF is that anyway? I am thinking he may have a form of autism or something ....the guy doesn't have a clue! Even assuming he doesn't care or is pulling back ...a simple "good morning" would have been nice ....instead of an ambiguous, cold and impersonal "16 hours.". I would have rather him sending nothing than that cold shyt.... Jeez. Exactly! He texted me yesterday evening and said "Hey you should call Carrie, she's having a tough few days, two of her friends died yesterday" (Carrie is the one that set us up) K first, I already knew because she had posted it on Facebook (they are not facebook friends anymore). But also, wtf? All I said was "Yeah i saw that. I was planning to check on her after my class" Haven't talked to him since. I did however spend some time with Carrie last night, didn't say anything about him but she did mention how immature he is and how half the time she doesn't think he knows his head from his a$$. So that was promising.
katiegrl Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Exactly! He texted me yesterday evening and said "Hey you should call Carrie, she's having a tough few days, two of her friends died yesterday" (Carrie is the one that set us up) K first, I already knew because she had posted it on Facebook (they are not facebook friends anymore). But also, wtf? All I said was "Yeah i saw that. I was planning to check on her after my class" Haven't talked to him since. I did however spend some time with Carrie last night, didn't say anything about him but she did mention how immature he is and how half the time she doesn't think he knows his head from his a$$. So that was promising. LDG, some may disagree, but next time he texts you, if he doesn't attempt to engage you (which means something with a ? at the end) ..... like "how are you"? Or "how's your day" OR "looking forward to seeing you!! .......something pertaining to YOU ...DO NOT respond back. Don't worry about feeling mean or cold .....HE's cold and you need to follow HIS lead. If it bothers him that you don't respond back, let him step up and put some real effort into engaging you .... doing his part in keeping whatever connection you have alive. This is bull shyt.... When is he due back? Do you have another date scheduled?
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 LDG, some may disagree, but next time he texts you, if he doesn't attempt to engage you (which means something with a ? at the end) ..... like "how are you"? Or "how's your day" OR "looking forward to seeing you!! .......something pertaining to YOU ...DO NOT respond back. Don't worry about feeling mean or cold .....HE's cold and you need to follow HIS lead. If it bothers him that you don't respond back, let him step up and put some real effort into engaging you .... doing his part in keeping whatever connection you have alive. This is bull shyt.... When is he due back? Do you have another date scheduled? When he left Monday, he said he would be gone 3 days. It could be longer for all I know, but I don't, because he doesn't communicate. No, we do not have anything scheduled. I don't plan on answering anything back. He obviously doesn't care how I am or what I am up to. I am not understanding why he would text me that about Carrie, like really dude? Is it really his place to tell me that?
katiegrl Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 When he left Monday, he said he would be gone 3 days. It could be longer for all I know, but I don't, because he doesn't communicate. No, we do not have anything scheduled. I don't plan on answering anything back. He obviously doesn't care how I am or what I am up to. ***I am not understanding why he would text me that about Carrie, like really dude? Is it really his place to tell me that?***** Just tossing you more scraps .... and then sit back and watch how you scramble around trying to pick them up... Your response was good ...next time just ignore when he sends you something like that. BTW, I would be sooooooo turned off by this. It would be EASY for me to ignore. Hopefully it will be for you too. Also, whenever he gets around to asking you out again, I would be busy. Even if it's just to wash your hair! Remember, we teach people how to treat us. 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 Just tossing you more scraps .... and then sit back and watch how you scramble around trying to pick them up... Your response was good ...next time just ignore when he sends you something like that. BTW, I would be sooooooo turned off by this. It would be EASY for me to ignore. Hopefully it will be for you too. Also, whenever he gets around to asking you out again, I would be busy. Even if it's just to wash your hair! Remember, we teach people how to treat us. I wasn't even going to respond to it, but Carrie is my friend and I wanted him to know that I already knew, and didn't need him to tell me. It kinda pissed me off. Even if he was just trying to be concerned. I'm so done with trying to pick up his crumbs. I get you're not a big texter but this is just ridiculous and detached. If you have time to go on Facebook you have time to say hi, hope you have a good day or something. Obviously I matter very little. Also, I think he has a case of ED. But we won't get into that... Soo not really a big loss 1
Redfisher Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I wasn't even going to respond to it, but Carrie is my friend and I wanted him to know that I already knew, and didn't need him to tell me. It kinda pissed me off. Even if he was just trying to be concerned. I'm so done with trying to pick up his crumbs. I get you're not a big texter but this is just ridiculous and detached. If you have time to go on Facebook you have time to say hi, hope you have a good day or something. Obviously I matter very little. Also, I think he has a case of ED. But we won't get into that... Soo not really a big loss Ouch....Try and not get too bitter, It sucks yeah but you're better then that no? The next guy will be a gem I'm sure. 2
katiegrl Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I wasn't even going to respond to it, but Carrie is my friend and I wanted him to know that I already knew, and didn't need him to tell me. It kinda pissed me off. Even if he was just trying to be concerned. I'm so done with trying to pick up his crumbs. I get you're not a big texter but this is just ridiculous and detached. If you have time to go on Facebook you have time to say hi, hope you have a good day or something. Obviously I matter very little. Also, I think he has a case of ED. But we won't get into that... Soo not really a big loss His ED could be related to emotional issues, in fact my guess would be it is. He sounds emotionally blocked/stunted ....and something like that doesn't get resolved without acknowlegnent of the issues, and therapy to resolve. LDG, I am sorry but it might be best if you just walk away from this for good. You sound like a lovely woman, you can do better! 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) Ouch....Try and not get too bitter, It sucks yeah but you're better then that no? The next guy will be a gem I'm sure. I am not bitter. I am just stating one of the things that bothered me throughout seeing him, trying to look at the positives of not seeing him anymore, lol. BUT I was willing to work with it and looked passed it. I think he's a decent guy, but the way he has acted isn't cool, regardless of the ED. His ED could be related to emotional issues, in fact my guess would be it is. He sounds emotionally blocked/stunted ....and something like that doesn't get resolved without acknowlegnent of the issues, and therapy to resolve. LDG, I am sorry but it might be best if you just walk away from this for good. You sound like a lovely woman, you can do better! Agree. I said earlier I don't think he is a "feelings" type of guy. I just wish that if he has lost interest, or is afraid of commitment then be a man and say so. I guess I will have to be the one to say it. I am just wondering how long I should wait. Any suggestions? In the end it is really his loss. I am a good catch Edited November 19, 2015 by LivingDeadGrl
katiegrl Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I am not bitter. I am just stating one of the things that bothered me throughout seeing him, trying to look at the positives of not seeing him anymore, lol. BUT I was willing to work with it and looked passed it. I think he's a decent guy, but the way he has acted isn't cool, regardless of the ED. Agree. I said earlier I don't think he is a "feelings" type of guy. I just wish that if he has lost interest, or is afraid of commitment then be a man and say so. I guess I will have to be the one to say it. I am just wondering how long I should wait. Any suggestions? I In the end it is really his loss. I am a good catch I am glad you said fear of commitment, cause I think so too.. Fear of closeness, intimacy issues ...the whole nine yards. Re why he doesn't say so, or end it himself....it's because just as he is fearful of getting close and moving forward in a healthy way ... he is also fearful of making the decision to end it ....he is full of ambivalence which manifests itself into confusing asnd contradictory behavior. It's crazy-making! You need to end it, otherwise he WILL make you crazy. BTDT. PM me if you feel inclined. Good luck! 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I am glad you said fear of commitment, cause I think so too.. Fear of closeness, intimacy issues ...the whole nine yards. Re why he doesn't say so, or end it himself....it's because just as he is fearful of getting close and moving forward in a healthy way ... he is also fearful of making the decision to end it ....he is full of ambivalence which manifests itself into confusing asnd contradictory behavior. It's crazy-making! You need to end it, otherwise he WILL make you crazy. BTDT. PM me if you feel inclined. Good luck! Thank you! You have been a huge help to me 1
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