Number Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 So I am 18 years old and am in my first year of University, many of my friends back home are in highschool still doing their victory lap and a year younger than me. Recently, since i have been away at university my buddies back home have been hangingput with a group of girls i used to hangout with back in elementary school. I hangout with my home friends almost every single weekend and was happy to discover that my friends from when i was younger have also joined the group. So there is this one girl who even when I was younger i had a crush on, and now getting to know her older self that crush has been reawakened. Immediatly when i started talking to her again (like the first time i discovered the groups merged) i was picking up vibes from her of flirting, casually stronger each time i saw her. I am an extremely introverted person so i really require strong signals in order to make a move. Last time i saw her was the most obvious the flirting has ever been: she basically kept making excuses to what seemed to be spending a few minutes alone together, she kept offering to give me a ride home and come up with different ways to work around the many obstacles that coming in our way. Basically, she didnt end up driving me home for reasons that were beyond both of our control but the desire to do so was extremely evident. So while im sitting in my apartment I finally muster up the strength to text her and see if she wants to hangout next weekend alone. She said she was busy sunday but to text her this weekend so we can make plans. So, so far so good right? Well, basically i have a few questions that I hope someone can answer. (btw i have literally never posted on a forum before so if this is the wrong thread or anything dont freak out on me lol) Firstly, does my assesment of the flirting situation seem accurate? If i need to provide more details that is fine. But also keep in mind that i really only have one example because i have only hungout with her like 3 or 4 times since i was in elementary school. Secondly, how should i approach "hanging out" with her? Is it obvious that I am interested in hangingout more than judt friends considering i asked to chill alone together randomly for the first time? Thirdly, any advice for how someone who has severe social anxiety and an introvert should approach a first date would be helpful i havnt had a date since middle of highschool. And i am especially nervous because this girl (although it seems we have ideological things in common) in my opinion is out of my leauge. Any advice is appreciated no matter how seemingly insignificant, thanks!
Buddhist Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Firstly, does my assesment of the flirting situation seem accurate? Secondly, how should i approach "hanging out" with her? Is it obvious that I am interested in hangingout more than judt friends considering i asked to chill alone together randomly for the first time? Thirdly, any advice for how someone who has severe social anxiety and an introvert should approach a first date would be helpful i havnt had a date since middle of highschool. And i am especially nervous because this girl (although it seems we have ideological things in common) in my opinion is out of my leauge. Any advice is appreciated no matter how seemingly insignificant, thanks! First question. You are the one in the best position to know. People run off vibes if you got a strong vibe she was into you then I'd say you are correct. Other people's opinion on this doesn't really matter at this point. Second question. Seems like you're doing fine so far. You contacted her at the first opportunity and she has opened the door on meeting up. Just offer to do something casual so you don't get all nervous, something you're familiar with so you can feel comfortable and just focus on being in her company. There are no big expectations here, the most important thing is to meet up. Third question. If you got the vibe she is into you then she is most definately not out of your league. The feeling is mutual. That is all you need to know about things. Whenever we feel a strong attraction to someone the natural assumption to make is that we aren't good enough. Push that thought aside for minute and wait until she actually rejects you before you reject yourself. Sounds promising so one foot in front of the other at this stage and tell your anxiety to take a back seat until you find out where things stand. You can always worry and stress later.
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