Yeaitsme Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I am a 26yo woman, who is very quiet and observant of ppl I don't know. I don't care to go out like at all, would much rather be home. Not really much of a talert until I warm up to you. And I'm kind of a tomboy. Guys don't seem to bite or think of me as a "cool ass female" How do I get out the friend zone I'm so often placed in? 1
Redfisher Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 If you are hot none of that will matter...Sad but very true. If you are average You could work on coming out of your shell or find a guy who is the same... If you meet a guy who you do like...Don't let him put you in the friend zone! make it clear you want more....Good luck.
Author Yeaitsme Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 You make a valid point, but coming out of my shell is easier said than done but I'm not too in my shell if that makes sense, just kind of cautious. I think I'm pretty hot lol but maybe my size is the problem. I'm not enormous, but I do fit in the bbw category. But in my opinion I carry my weight well.
salparadise Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I am a 26yo woman, who is very quiet and observant of ppl I don't know. I don't care to go out like at all, would much rather be home. Not really much of a talert until I warm up to you. And I'm kind of a tomboy. Guys don't seem to bite or think of me as a "cool ass female" How do I get out the friend zone I'm so often placed in? I don't think the introvert part is the problem. I'm betting it's the tomboy aura that's getting you fz'd. I'd say get more in touch with your feminine energy and try to project it more. Dress more feminine, be more feminine. Learn to flirt and be a bit coy at the same time. If you're not much of a talker, ask good questions.
Redfisher Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 You make a valid point, but coming out of my shell is easier said than done but I'm not too in my shell if that makes sense, just kind of cautious. I think I'm pretty hot lol but maybe my size is the problem. I'm not enormous, but I do fit in the bbw category. But in my opinion I carry my weight well. Yeah sorry it was easy answer just saying that but i do understand its not so easy to do or you would have done it already. You have good confidence that's a plus. Not sure if size is the problem, personally I went from a 5'11" thin girl to a 5'4" thicker girl and love it! I mean Netflix and chill nights are so much better... You seem smart and you know what you need to do..Good luck!
salparadise Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I think I'm pretty hot lol but maybe my size is the problem. I'm not enormous, but I do fit in the bbw category. But in my opinion I carry my weight well. Well, size is something you can change, just not instantly. Easier for some than others of course. It's pretty much a given that if you're in the bbw category, that's a factor. I have known a few men who actually prefer larger women and would say so, but for the vast majority a few extra pounds is the cutoff. We can't help it- similar to the way women are about short men... except one is fixable and the other isn't. I think it's a decision based problem for you- you have the ability to make changes (incl. previous post) if you can make a decision and be one-hundred percent committed to it. 1
Author Yeaitsme Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I've tried the girly thing, I dress semi feminine, I look like a woman I just kind of talk boyish, idk but I shouldn't have to change to be liked. Doesn't seem genuine. I have been dropping lbs though but even when I wasnt a bbw it was the same thing with guys. I've always gotten alon better with males opposed to females.
Zippy2000 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 To keep to the subject of men being turn off by introverted women. My answer from me is no. If I find you attractive I ll not find that as a turn off however some men who might not get any cues or a green light to pursue you du to you being introverted. 1
SwordofFlame Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I've gone on dates with plenty of introverted women. The two biggest issues are that they are ridiculously hard to read and also struggle with communicating. I never really know where I stand with one. It's not a turn off, but it does require a lot more effort on my part to get her to open up. Which is something I'm not great at myself because I'm also an introvert. If I'm not too interested in her after a couple of dates, I tend to just move on.
Redfisher Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I've gone on dates with plenty of introverted women. The two biggest issues are that they are ridiculously hard to read and also struggle with communicating. I never really know where I stand with one. It's not a turn off, but it does require a lot more effort on my part to get her to open up. Which is something I'm not great at myself because I'm also an introvert. If I'm not too interested in her after a couple of dates, I tend to just move on. Would this not make you even more understanding? And allow you to try harder? 1
SwordofFlame Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Would this not make you even more understanding? And allow you to try harder? It does make me try harder, but at some point the relationship just feels too one sided and that's when I throw in the towel.
Redfisher Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 It does make me try harder, but at some point the relationship just feels too one sided and that's when I throw in the towel. I understand, Do you think women have the same issue's with you?
SwordofFlame Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I understand, Do you think women have the same issue's with you? Possibly. With introverts, you just don't know if she's disinterested or just wants to take things slow
Ic1 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Here's a perspective that's yet to come up: I prefer introverted women! This does not mean so shy she's afraid to say what's on her mind though. I'm an extreme introvert myself, but that does not make me meet fewer people. My connection with introverted people is stronger, and more attractive. Extreme extroverted can be unattractive to me. (Building in energy around more people, and preferring it.) I prefer a time one-on-one with someone in a deep conversation instead of a game of beer pong with a crowd watching.
JustGettingBy Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Here's a perspective that's yet to come up: I prefer introverted women! This does not mean so shy she's afraid to say what's on her mind though. I'm an extreme introvert myself, but that does not make me meet fewer people. My connection with introverted people is stronger, and more attractive. Extreme extroverted can be unattractive to me. (Building in energy around more people, and preferring it.) I prefer a time one-on-one with someone in a deep conversation instead of a game of beer pong with a crowd watching. This is me as well. If I was seeing a woman, I'd rather be either one-on-one with her, or with as few people as possible. Bringing her to a party or club would be unappealing.
oberkeat Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Weight is definitely a factor, at least for me. As far as quiet vs extroverted, I prefer a woman who is more extroverted. I dated a few women who were quiet, and having a conversation with them was like pulling teeth. Additionally, with women who are very reserved, it's difficult to gauge whether they're even open to being approached.
introverted1 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Hasn't been a problem for me. ETA: hasn't been a problem being an introvert (I am social). I am not a BBW so can't comment on that aspect.
shoplocal Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I am a 26yo woman, who is very quiet and observant of ppl I don't know. I don't care to go out like at all, would much rather be home. Not really much of a talert until I warm up to you. And I'm kind of a tomboy. Guys don't seem to bite or think of me as a "cool ass female" How do I get out the friend zone I'm so often placed in? I'm future you -- mid thirties, introverted BBW, minimally girly/feminine. I've been told time and time again by male acquaintances/co-workers that I'm hard to read, so they play things safe with me. It's not a dating bonus. :-p Your style is not as much an issue as your weight; large ladies like us attract fewer men. (Unless you're in a really fat part of the country, in which case -- lucky you!) Even 'carrying it well', it's still clear you're carrying a lot. Just an FYI. That being said, I've seen large twenty-something women with some hot men on their arm, as I think your generation is more comfortable with a lot of extra pounds....basically, ymmv but you can probably keep your style. Personally, I've not succeeded in making some man fall helplessly in love with me, so I don't have any tips there. Just some feedback that I've gotten that may help you see things more clearly, and perhaps figure out for yourself what you can try to do to fix your situation. Good luck!
Buddhist Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I am a 26yo woman, who is very quiet and observant of ppl I don't know. I don't care to go out like at all, would much rather be home. Not really much of a talert until I warm up to you. And I'm kind of a tomboy. Guys don't seem to bite or think of me as a "cool ass female" How do I get out the friend zone I'm so often placed in? It's got nothing to do with being an introvert. I am about as introverted as it's possible to get and I've never wanted for male company or partners. It's got everything to do with how you're presenting yourself. Whenever I hear a woman describe herself as a tomboy I pretty much think she gives little thought to how she looks. There's cool tomboy that still looks hot and attractive and then there's I get around in my ill fitting jeans and sneakers tomboy which isn't attractive at all because it screams I make no effort. The same applies to men. I've seen guys who would rate a 6 a la naturel become sudden 8's and above with a good haircut, some product and a change of clothes. Get him into a gym for 3 months and we're talking 10 material. The reality is, most people need that polish to really put it out there. It's not that they're unattractive people it's that they've no idea how to present themselves to best advantage. No-one rolls out of bed looking hot.....not even models. The hot chick guys lust after is usually the chick rocking a look that works for her. Look closely, she is rarely amazingly beautiful, she's just polished. 2
thecrucible Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 As far as quiet vs extroverted, I prefer a woman who is more extroverted. I dated a few women who were quiet, and having a conversation with them was like pulling teeth. You got the definition of introvert wrong. An introvert is someone who needs their own space to recharge whereas an extrovert gets their energy from human interaction. Now I am not quiet. In fact, I regularly chat with people for hours, and enjoy making friends with strangers all the time. That doesn't make me an extrovert. I am more like what someone else said on the last page and what you said about knowing when to approach. I'm not always the most open with my feelings and difficult for some men to read...haha so some guys just give up and think it's not worth the effort. I should add that it's not something I do deliberately, I'm just not inclined to put it all out there so easily. So yeah I suppose I would say that would be a bit of a turn off for some guys. I'm not going to lie. I think for OP, probably the tomboy stuff might be a turn off for some guys. I once had a pixie type cut (when I was a teenager) and it was an absolute cock-blocker I can tell you that. I'm a lot more girly now and my hair runs down almost my entire back - get more attention now. As for the weight thing, I think that's a turn off for some guys but not for others. 1
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