Bo34 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 (edited) Backstory; My GF of a year and a half broke up with me 4 months ago. We are from the same city but she currently is across states studying for grad school for the next year and a half. She broke up with me when she came down to visit face-to-face due to the difficulties of distance according to her. Though we were in a LDR, we talked/texted/skyped nearly every single day and visited one another pretty frequently for a LDR (6 weeks). The breakup was very unexpected. We had talks of marriage, met each others parents, had similar cultures, similar background/mutual friends, and everything was going great, so I was beyond shocked w the breakup. It's been 4 months, and there are still days where I still struggle. I was depressed for nearly 3 months. I am much better now, but overall, this breakup has really ****ed my life in many ways. Current Situation: As bad as I have been post-breakup, one thing I have done admirably is maintain NC. I havent texted/called/social media'd with her in any way since day 1 when I tried, pleaded and did everything humanly possible to salvage the end. I've blocked her from all social media.. However, unannounced to me, I saw through a mutual friend of ours facebook page, that she came down to visit last week. I wish I never saw these pictures. I really gotta say, it was such a horrible feeling. My heart pounded and blood rushed like I was going thru the brekaup all over again. She was so happy in several of them and it really got to me. I always thought I wasn't doing a good job post breakup, because I would still think about her, but after I saw these pictures, I have now started dwelling again and come to the realization that I was making progress indeed. I know this sounds crazy, but up until this past week, I've always held some belief (or false hope) that she would eventually regret her decision and come back to me in due time. I felt that because she was away in a different state, that preventing her from acting upon those thoughts of regret. But knowing now that she was back in town last week and that she did not contact me has given me a new chilling dose of reality check. Seeing how this was not the case, has really made me start thinking that this bi&&&ch will never contact me ever again. Edited November 17, 2015 by Bo34
Liono84 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I think this is the best thing that could've happened to you. - Although temporary painful, it will ultimately help you move on in the long run because now you know the cold hard truth that she's over you and your false hope can die. If she had any shred of regret on her decision she would've contacted you by now and done so in the days/weeks leading up to her visit to get a "feeler" on the situation and where you stood. But by her not contacting you, it says a lot. I don't think she would contact you in a meaningful way, (no breadcrumbs) expressing regret or a 2nd chance unless she knows she has the opportunity to see you face-to-face, and the fact that it will be another few months until she visits again, means it's over, for good. I know it sucks, and you feel worse seeing this, but it's a blessing in disguise because it can now kill your false hope and you can finally move on.
7121157 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Backstory; My GF of a year and a half broke up with me 4 months ago. We are from the same city but she currently is across states studying for grad school for the next year and a half. She broke up with me when she came down to visit face-to-face due to the difficulties of distance according to her. Though we were in a LDR, we talked/texted/skyped nearly every single day and visited one another pretty frequently for a LDR (6 weeks). The breakup was very unexpected. We had talks of marriage, met each others parents, had similar cultures, similar background/mutual friends, and everything was going great, so I was beyond shocked w the breakup. It's been 4 months, and there are still days where I still struggle. I was depressed for nearly 3 months. I am much better now, but overall, this breakup has really ****ed my life in many ways. Current Situation: As bad as I have been post-breakup, one thing I have done admirably is maintain NC. I havent texted/called/social media'd with her in any way since day 1 when I tried, pleaded and did everything humanly possible to salvage the end. I've blocked her from all social media.. However, unannounced to me, I saw through a mutual friend of ours facebook page, that she came down to visit last week. I wish I never saw these pictures. I really gotta say, it was such a horrible feeling. My heart pounded and blood rushed like I was going thru the brekaup all over again. She was so happy in several of them and it really got to me. I always thought I wasn't doing a good job post breakup, because I would still think about her, but after I saw these pictures, I have now started dwelling again and come to the realization that I was making progress indeed. I know this sounds crazy, but up until this past week, I've always held some belief (or false hope) that she would eventually regret her decision and come back to me in due time. I felt that because she was away in a different state, that preventing her from acting upon those thoughts of regret. But knowing now that she was back in town last week and that she did not contact me has given me a new chilling dose of reality check. Seeing how this was not the case, has really made me start thinking that this bi&&&ch will never contact me ever again. First off, I'm sorry you're going thru this. I'm in a similar situation, I just broke up with my ex of about 1.5 yrs. So I feel your pain. Its been a about a few months for me. The one thing I've learned is to have no expectations or hope of having the relationship back. At this point you have to realize that the relationship is gone. You have to accept it. Believe me I know its difficult, but you have to accept it as the reality. I'm still guilty of having false hope, but I keep reminding myself that there is none. The only hope you should have right now is that Love is possible again. Give it time, and love will happen again. Just have to be right with yourself. Keep doing what youre doing and push forward. Stay strong and keep the faith.
BC1980 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Social media is so weird. A little less than a year ago, a picture of my ex and his now wife popped up on my FB news feed. They looked to be at some kind of couples shower that some mutual acquaintances had thrown them. Yikes! It really freaked me out to see him with his arm around another woman, looking so happy. I started to feel all sorts of weird emotions. I was angry that he seemed happy. I was sad that people I considered friends had thrown him a shower. Just all type of weird, unnecessary feelings prompted by FB. My advice is to take all of this into perspective. It's just a FB picture. That's all. Don't make it more than it needs to be. Seeing that picture can prompt all types of emotions, but take them in stride. You will be fine in a few days.
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