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Posted

Sometimes guys want to date with a girl who is very open and makes the first move because it lower their fears of rejection.

Posted (edited)

 

 

**Let me school everyone once again.**

 

I get a womans number, and ask her whens a good time to call...she says "I dont really like to talk on the phone, but you can text me"

 

***Now obviously shes interested because she just gave me her number.****

 

**I really can't believe I have to explain this..**

 

.

 

Wow, I was on your side until I read your first sentence. Could you be any more condescending? Jeses.

 

That said, allow me to *school* you.

 

Third paragraph -- False, [not] *now obviously* she is interested in you. Women give men their numbers for all sorts of reasons other than interest....heelloooo. Doing so is definitely not a given she is interested..... you find that out on the date itself (if she agrees to go out with you after you call and ask her). .

 

That said ....I am sorry ....but if a woman refuses to talk on the phone, or converse with you on the date, and/or is playing with her phone..she is NOT interested in you!

 

I really can't believe I have to explain this again.....:p:rolleyes:

Edited by katiegrl
  • Like 2
Posted
Just because YOU dont feel you apply to what I stated doesnt mean it cancels it out entirely.

 

One of the big problems on a message board like this, is that many of the women instantly feel like they are being attacked, and have to fight with all their might to extinguish what the other person said, instead of realizing not every woman on the planet is exactly like them.

I don't feel like I'm attacked! :rolleyes::laugh: I am just telling you, you are on the wrong track; also I forgot in my last reply to you: when WE (guys and girls both) are in the early stage of getting to know someone, we would be completely OUT OF LINE to have "expectations." Why do you have them? That's just whacky!!!

 

And now for this:

 

Let me school everyone once again.

 

I get a womans number, and ask her whens a good time to call...she says "I dont really like to talk on the phone, but you can text me"

 

Now obviously shes interested because she just gave me her number.

 

But because other men accept her "texting" only behavior, she continues to do it.

 

If all men started holding her accountable for it, and telling her "No thanks, I dont date women that only text" she will either have to change or continue to get ignored.

 

 

I really cant believe I have to explain this.

 

 

First of all, "SCHOOL" us! :lmao::lmao: Second of all ... um ... I don't think you will be able to grasp this, but she might text simply because she prefers to text!!! So do many guys!!! It's not up to any fellow to "hold her accountable" for preferring to text!!! Especially a stranger who JUST got her phone number!!! If she doesn't want to talk on the phone to YOU, then you're not going to be talking on the phone. Final. Next.

 

Find a girl who, like you, doesn't like to text. But the thing you can't seem to get through your head is that it will be BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT LIKE TO TEXT!!! Not because of what some men like or how they react to it!

 

You seem to think that we women are nothing but puppets of men. where on Earth do you get these ideas??

  • Author
Posted (edited)

That said, ....I am sorry ....but if a woman refuses to talk on the phone, or converse with you on the date, and/or is playing with her phone..she is NOT interested in you!

 

I really can't believe I have to explain this again.....:p:rolleyes:

 

There are HUGE numbers of women out there right now who refuse to talk on the phone when dating just starts. Texting has become priority in their life. Even with many of the women in their 40's, which I am a part of.

 

I've had many women tell me they dont like to talk on the phone.

 

Katiegrl....you have to understand that just because it doesnt make sense, doesnt mean it doesnt happen the way I am explaining it. I hate to say it, but you cant always apply logic to certain situations when dealing with some women and how they go about their lives.

 

Maybe someone else will chime in with the same experience since everyone thinks I am making it up/wrong. :cool:

Edited by Male
Posted

I've had many women tell me they dont like to talk on the phone.

 

Maybe someone else will chime in with the same experience since everyone thinks I am making it up :cool:

Here's the problem: So what if they don't like to talk on the phone? Who says they have to? If they like you enough they would do it, probably. Otherwise they should just carry on with texting. They are certainly having no problem connecting with guys who also prefer to text.

 

I myself do not like talking on the phone, either.

  • Author
Posted
Here's the problem: So what if they don't like to talk on the phone? Who says they have to? If they like you enough they would do it, probably. Otherwise they should just carry on with texting. They are certainly having no problem connecting with guys who also prefer to text.

 

I myself do not like talking on the phone, either.

 

Thats her choice if she doesnt want to text.

 

I was using it as an example since it was said "no woman is interested in a guy if she says she wants to only text".

 

And actually you just admitted that you prefer to text, so does that mean you'd still text if you are interested in a guy? If you say yes than why didnt you correct Katiegrl when she said women like you dont exist? Sounds like you are one-sided, and only care about proving a guy wrong, rather than being unbiased.

Posted (edited)
There are HUGE numbers of women out there right now who refuse to talk on the phone when dating just starts. Texting has become priority in their life. Even with many of the women in their 40's, which I am a part of.

 

I've had many women tell me they dont like to talk on the phone.

 

Katiegrl....you have to understand that just because it doesnt make sense, doesnt mean it doesnt happen the way I am explaining it. I hate to say it, but you cant always apply logic to certain situations when dealing with some women and how they go about their lives.

 

Maybe someone else will chime in with the same experience since everyone thinks I am making it up :cool:

 

Oh I believe you about the texting thing....it's crazy!

 

However, IF a woman is interested in you and you actually *call* her ...do you think, again, assuming she is really interested, she is going to refuse to talk to you because you called instead of texted?

 

Really Male? Come on now ... you're smarter than this.

 

I hate to say this ...but I think one of the problems here is that you have yet to find a woman who is truly interested in you!

 

Because, trust me Male, once you do, all your rules, and pre--conceived notions will fly right out the window!

 

A whole new world (and attitude) will open up to you once you find that woman who is truly interested in you, feels that chemistry/connection with you ....and vice versa.

 

I honestly and truly believe this to be true....

Edited by katiegrl
  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
Oh I believe you about the texting thing....it's crazy!

 

However, IF a woman is interested in you and you actually *call* her ...do you think, again, assuming she is really interested, she is going to refuse to talk to you because you called instead of texted?

 

Really Male? Come on now ... you're smarter than this.

 

I hate to say this ...but I think one of the problems here is that you have yet to find a woman who is truly interested in you!

 

Because, trust me Male, once you do, all your rules, and pre--conceived notions will fly right out the window!

 

A whole new world (and attitude) will open up to you once you find that woman who is truly interested in you, feels that chemistry/connection with you ....and vice versa.

 

I honestly and truly believe this to be true....

 

 

The problem is that dating doesnt work that way anymore(for the most part).

 

Nowadays many women have a lot of options, are busier with life, and work, and want a guy to "be friends first"...so making a move isnt even on the table, because you have to spend time letting her "get to know you".

 

I think some women really dont know how to handle their "freedom" when it comes to dating, so they just drag it out, and try to string a long a handful of men either because they are afraid of making a wrong choice, or they just love the attention.

 

Nowadays....a woman being interested = She hangs out with a guy as friends, and he needs to follow her rules until shes ready or she'll just pick someone who will

 

A guy thats interested = Lets go on a date, see if we click, give you a kiss good night, and give you a call to schedule another date

Posted

But my husband now, he was just amazing at sexual tension. He did what some of the others have posted about, stood a little too close, deep penetrating looks, find a reason to respectfully touch me. The man turned me on so much I was a puddle. I appreciate a man that understands and knows how to draw out sexual tension.

 

This reminds me a man I saw in Starbuck about 2 years ago.

 

As soon as I entered the coffee shop I noticed a very good looking man sitting in one table. I was instantly drawn and attracted to him. Very handsome..you know tall and dark and cute. I hesitated in sitting...I was attracted but too afraid to show interest so I sat in another table that had some space between his. I was so afraid to show so I literally buried my head in my laptop. I noticed he had a very cool laptop. and then I noticed he walked back and forth a few times across my table. I was so shy I did not even dare to look where he went. then finally one time I mastered the courage to look at him when he walked by, then I saw him looking at me directly in my eyes with the penetrating looks, like he wanted to devote me. I was so scared I hurriedly buried my head in my laptop and pretended to study hard. then later I heard him drop his mouse on the floor. I still didn't dare to look at him. then he finally left after awhile.

 

Thinking about the wolfish/penetrating looks still makes me feel hot.

 

Looking back, I think I do have some psychological problems I guess. I don't know what exactly it is. still trying to figure out. maybe I am too insecure and have very low self-esteem and I don't think I deserve the best. maybe I have even some self-loathing? I was also a very negative person.

 

I do have a very critical and negative mom...

Posted

And actually you just admitted that you prefer to text, so does that mean you'd still text if you are interested in a guy? If you say yes than why didnt you correct Katiegrl when she said women like you dont exist? Sounds like you are one-sided, and only care about proving a guy wrong, rather than being unbiased.

 

Look Male. I am not interested in proving a guy wrong. You ARE wrong. That's fine, go ahead and hold onto your beliefs about women but you are your own problem. I mean, you seem to be bothered that you have no women in your life, so that's why I've been trying to talk to you. I'll stop now. It's clear that you are much more interested in living in some kind of fantasy world where women are like misbehaving stepford wives, than actually having relationships with women. Carry on!!:):)

  • Author
Posted
This reminds me a man I saw in Starbuck about 2 years ago.

 

As soon as I entered the coffee shop I noticed a very good looking man sitting in one table. I was instantly drawn and attracted to him. Very handsome..you know tall and dark and cute.

 

 

 

You know....because anything other than tall dark and cute isnt attractive.

 

 

If a man referenced a certain "cliched" description about a certain type of woman he would get bashed from every direction by women telling him he's a sexist pig.

Posted
There are HUGE numbers of women out there right now who refuse to talk on the phone when dating just starts. Texting has become priority in their life. Even with many of the women in their 40's, which I am a part of.

 

I've had many women tell me they dont like to talk on the phone.

 

That just means they are not interested enough in you to bother.

 

I am confident those women will be quick to talk on the phone to a guy they are interested in.

 

If they aren't willing to do that with you, that means, to them, that you are just a side-piece at best or a dumper fire at worse.

 

Leave them and find someone else.

 

Katiegrl....you have to understand that just because it doesnt make sense, doesnt mean it doesnt happen the way I am explaining it. I hate to say it, but you cant always apply logic to certain situations when dealing with some women and how they go about their lives.

 

Maybe someone else will chime in with the same experience since everyone thinks I am making it up/wrong. :cool:

 

I have nothing against your conclusions.

 

However, what I find puzzling is how you are handling it. Instead of you just leaving these women and keep searching for those that will meet your requests, you rather tell others about what these women did and prove your point.

 

For the most part, we don't really care about them. They do their thing, we do ours. I am sure those women you are complaining about will continue to do theirs.

 

You need to do yours and keep searching.

 

All you are doing with this is wasting time and effort for nothing......unless that was your plan all along, in which case, please continue.

  • Like 1
Posted
Let me school everyone once again.

 

I get a womans number, and ask her whens a good time to call...she says "I dont really like to talk on the phone, but you can text me"

 

Now obviously shes interested because she just gave me her number.

 

But because other men accept her "texting" only behavior, she continues to do it.

 

If all men started holding her accountable for it, and telling her "No thanks, I dont date women that only text" she will either have to change or continue to get ignored.

 

 

I really cant believe I have to explain this.

 

 

 

Yet women tell you over and over again what behaviors they like to see in men and you don't change :confused:

 

The women are being themselves. You are being yourself. Apparently, you don't like each other.

 

The women are moving on and finding men they do like, and who like them (texting behaviors and all). You should do the same.

Posted (edited)
How many women approach and pursue men vs how many dont? The number isnt even close. Majority of women live with lots of insecurities about themselves and their bodies that men never deal with. Millions of women wont even leave the house without makeup on. Its getting better, thankfully, but its still a huge issue for many of them. Confidence when it comes to dating, and interacting with men is still a major issue for majority of women. They purposely hide behind the "its the guys job to chase, approach, and talk" theory because they wont admit they are scared to death to do it themselves. I would love if more women became proactive with it but sadly not enough do.

 

Having all the same traits is not a requirement. But insisting a guy has to have X amount of confidence, and judging how he approaches, or what he says, when the woman doesnt have guts to do the same thing is just wrong.

 

How well would it go over if I told a woman to "stop complaining, its not that bad" while she gave birth??

 

You are really off base. Most guys I know have self esteem/body image issues at multiple points in their lives. Both men I have been married to struggled at different times with their bodies. I think you are completely off on what men struggle with though it is perhaps perceived differently. But many men have eating disorders and the numbers are growing.

 

Also look at the stats of men who deal with a mid-life crisis. That has to do with self esteem.

 

And make up? Well that is a cultural tradition that women wear make up. If you leave the Western world it isn't as big a deal but culture has a major impact on both sexes on what they "should" do and "shouldn't". So you are slamming women for the general culture?

 

Culture has also dictated that men pursue in dating more than women. So again if women pursue it has been seen as a negative. Equality in this area is getting better but that is still the culture. Again, that is not just women who have enforced that. Men do as well. Why do you slam women for that?

 

And childbirth, that you pulled out of thin air. The physical pain with it has nothing to do with anything else you have discussed nor does it compare. Having empathy for someone suffering is not a gender issue; it is a character one.

 

Male, I feel like you just want to complain to complain. There is no "seeking to understand then be understood" you just want to have people say women are wrong, you are the victim, rinse and repeat."

 

I know men that cross the many different characteristics that you complain about and they do not struggle in romantic relationships. At the end of the day, they are pleasant people to be around and so whether they are aggressive or not, dark and handsome or not, etc. are minor features. They ARE nice to talk to, nice to be around, and not critical and cynical of others. We attract who we want to attract and we carve out the futures we want. Few are victims of their circumstances unless they choose to be.

Edited by Got it
Posted
You know....because anything other than tall dark and cute isnt attractive.

 

 

If a man referenced a certain "cliched" description about a certain type of woman he would get bashed from every direction by women telling him he's a sexist pig.

 

That's because men have a much more varied taste in what they find attractive. Most women only find the stereotypical tall good looking man physically attractive.

Posted
That's because men have a much more varied taste in what they find attractive. Most women only find the stereotypical tall good looking man physically attractive.

 

broad shoulders is attractive. I think that's universal.

 

There are universal standards and there are individual tastes, same as men I think.

  • Author
Posted

However, what I find puzzling is how you are handling it. Instead of you just leaving these women and keep searching for those that will meet your requests, you rather tell others about what these women did and prove your point.

 

I always find it funny how I seem to be the only one on here that get criticized for telling stories of past experiences, or bringing up great points that I've experienced. Its as if only the women are allowed to spout of about their bad experiences with men, and everyone runs to comfort her, but when a guy spouts off everyone roles their eyes and acts like the he is just whining.

 

Our society slights men that complain about what women do, which in turn allows women to get away with it unchecked. Women however are much more vocal about complaints about guys, and have huge support for it. What this does then, is it brainwashes everyone into consciously and subconsciously having a slanted view that men are worse than women, and that men do this and that, while women dont do such things as often or to the same degree.

 

Theres a ton of men that know exactly what I'm talking about when I complain about the actions of women, yet they refuse to come forward because men know that "complaining" about women is the best way to get blackballed and labeled as a whining man with no spine and no confidence....its really quite a smart scheme the way it plays out.

 

Men are vilified for opening their mouth yet women are praised

Posted
broad shoulders is attractive. I think that's universal.

 

There are universal standards and there are individual tastes, same as men I think.

 

Being tall as man is universally attractive as well

  • Author
Posted
Being tall as man is universally attractive as well

 

In the real world yes...on this message board, unfortunately, pretty much everyone except me will argue and try to find a way to prove that statement wrong.

Posted

Our society slights men that complain about what women do, which in turn allows women to get away with it unchecked. Women however are much more vocal about complaints about guys, and have huge support for it. What this does then, is it brainwashes everyone into consciously and subconsciously having a slanted view that men are worse than women, and that men do this and that, while women dont do such things as often or to the same degree.

 

Your interpretations of what women do are off, not necessarily your descriptions. We are trying to help you understand why women do the things they do so that you'll be able to have more success, or if not, at least peace.

 

I could complain about a lot of things men do that are very different from women, but I actually like men the way they are. I'm with a man who likes women they way they are, even though it's not just like him. In fact, we prefer it this way, yin/yang.

 

Can you accept difference in a partner without ascribing negative judgments?

Posted
Let me school everyone once again.

 

I get a womans number, and ask her whens a good time to call...she says "I dont really like to talk on the phone, but you can text me"

 

Now obviously shes interested because she just gave me her number.

 

But because other men accept her "texting" only behavior, she continues to do it.

 

If all men started holding her accountable for it, and telling her "No thanks, I dont date women that only text" she will either have to change or continue to get ignored.

 

 

I really cant believe I have to explain this.

See, I just never thought of the "text vs call" when you've just met as that much of a big deal. As far as other men "accepting it", I truly don't think it is a huge deal to most other men.

 

If it truly is a big deal for you, I am positive that there are still women out there who want you to call instead of text even before a first date.

 

No offense OP, but you come across as someone who loses his cool over minor things. Did it ever occur to you that this is a turn-off to a lot of women, and is making dating challenging for you (it is).

  • Like 1
Posted
I always find it funny how I seem to be the only one on here that get criticized for telling stories of past experiences, or bringing up great points that I've experienced. Its as if only the women are allowed to spout of about their bad experiences with men, and everyone runs to comfort her, but when a guy spouts off everyone roles their eyes and acts like the he is just whining.

 

Our society slights men that complain about what women do, which in turn allows women to get away with it unchecked. Women however are much more vocal about complaints about guys, and have huge support for it. What this does then, is it brainwashes everyone into consciously and subconsciously having a slanted view that men are worse than women, and that men do this and that, while women dont do such things as often or to the same degree.

 

Theres a ton of men that know exactly what I'm talking about when I complain about the actions of women, yet they refuse to come forward because men know that "complaining" about women is the best way to get blackballed and labeled as a whining man with no spine and no confidence....its really quite a smart scheme the way it plays out.

 

Men are vilified for opening their mouth yet women are praised

 

Male, is there anything about women you DO find appealing? Something, anything? I am serious. Every single post is a diss against women in one form or another.

 

Why do you bother dating at all? Do you even "like" women?

 

Again, serious questions.

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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