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Posted
I'd like to hear examples from women on how guys can show desire and passion on the first few dates.

 

tell her she looks beautiful and sexy. Hold her hand. Kiss her gently but passionately. It's not rocket science.

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Posted (edited)
tell her she looks beautiful and sexy. Hold her hand. Kiss her gently but passionately. It's not rocket science.

 

The last thing most women wants to hear from a guy on the first date or so is that she looks " beautiful and sexy".

 

There are so many guys that say crap like that just to say it because they think its scores big points.

 

I would rather have a woman like me because of our personalities clicking rather than because I told her she looks "beautiful and sexy".

 

Beautiful and sexy comes later.....not in the beginning.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Posted
It means what it says. I want to get to know a man and see whether I even like him as a person, respect him, am on the same page as him etc, before I'll even consider having sex with him. It's not hard to understand. If women simply had sex with every reasonably attractive man who tried it on with them most women would end up having 500+ sexual partners over the course of their lifetime.

 

Believe it or not, I (and I think most women) know if we wanna have sex with you within a few minutes of simply chatting with you - but doesn't mean we're gonna go through with it.

 

"Attraction" gets your foot in the door...then we take the time to get to know you.

 

Again, some women genuinely have no interest in you romantically and also use the "I just wanna be friends" statement. How are you gonna figure out which one she is (romantically interested or not)? You gotta spend time with her, and try to make a move (i.e. a touch of the hand, soft kiss)...if she flinches over an attempt at a kiss or a touch, then doesn't mean she thinks you want sex - it means she never had romantic interest in the first place.

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Posted
Believe it or not, I (and I think most women) know if we wanna have sex with you within a few minutes of simply chatting with you - but doesn't mean we're gonna go through with it.

 

"Attraction" gets your foot in the door...then we take the time to get to know you.

 

Again, some women genuinely have no interest in you romantically and also use the "I just wanna be friends" statement. How are you gonna figure out which one she is (romantically interested or not)? You gotta spend time with her, and try to make a move (i.e. a touch of the hand, soft kiss)...if she flinches over an attempt at a kiss or a touch, then doesn't mean she thinks you want sex - it means she never had romantic interest in the first place.

 

Of course.....because it would just make too much sense for the woman to come out and tell the guy she isnt interested.....instead the guy has to waste time, and spill his pride spending time, and trying to make moves on a woman, when the whole time she has no interest in him, and wishes he would just take a "hint"....because godforbid if that type of woman actually got her hands dirty by being straight up with him.

Posted

anticipation is more than half the fun......i was describing to my oldest daughter what a prelude to a kiss meant......i actually like the name for a family business idea i have but anyway...

 

i explained to her why i wanted to name the business that and what it meant to me what it might or could make others feel...particularly for women.....but for men too... and she started to cry...she cried because i believe she has not had that prelude to a kiss......and that is sad.

 

 

too many people go gung ho and force something and leave the anticipation and the prelude unfelt...........the build up, the anticipation the excitement the effort the preparation that you do before....then the soft touches that linger longer the smiles ....the secrets shared..that feeling you get knowing the person with you ...is someone you feel something special for.....so when it does happen it feels so good...feels beyond right....it feels like a natural progression when it does happen....

 

you feel beautiful and desired and waited for......like you are special...the only one..... not one of many before..........or not just there to felt up.....yeah i know spoilt it didnt i...

 

 

 

and thats where i think most woman needs that prelude really.....it makes you feel different....respected ....beautiful......and so feminine......there's nothing like being a woman with soft skin and warm lips waiting to be kissed by the right guy......the prelude is beautiful as much as the kiss should be sweet..maybe awkward...lol...but sweet all the same..i dotn think it really needs to be spoken about..a guy can be confident......and still wait and allow that build up.......deb

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Posted
anticipation is more than half the fun......i was describing to my oldest daughter what a prelude to a kiss meant......i actually like the name for a family business idea i have but anyway...

 

i explained to her why i wanted to name the business that and what it meant to me what it might or could make others feel...particularly for women.....but for men too... and she started to cry...she cried because i believe she has not had that prelude to a kiss......and that is sad.

 

 

too many people go gung ho and force something and leave the anticipation and the prelude unfelt...........the build up, the anticipation the excitement the effort the preparation that you do before....then the soft touches that linger longer the smiles ....the secrets shared..that feeling you get knowing the person with you ...is someone you feel something special for.....so when it does happen it feels so good...feels beyond right....it feels like a natural progression when it does happen....

 

you feel beautiful and desired and waited for......like you are special...the only one..... not one of many before..........or not just there to felt up.....yeah i know spoilt it didnt i...

 

 

 

and thats where i think most woman needs that prelude really.....it makes you feel different....respected ....beautiful......and so feminine......there's nothing like being a woman with soft skin and warm lips waiting to be kissed by the right guy......the prelude is beautiful as much as the kiss should be sweet..maybe awkward...lol...but sweet all the same..i dotn think it really needs to be spoken about..a guy can be confident......and still wait and allow that build up.......deb

 

And this is where the girls are separated from the women...lovely.

Much respect,

G

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Posted (edited)
Women tend to be attracted to doers, yes. It's kind of an important quality in a mate.

 

And what traits do women have in comparison, to make them attracted to the man?

 

 

 

Then what's the point of this thread if you've dated and are married to a woman who doesn't expect a man to do the things d0nnivan and others suggested?

 

 

I'm no longer married.

 

But even if I was, I didnt realize there was a law against speculating, and philosophizing situations.

Edited by Male
Posted
And what traits do women have in comparison, to make them attracted to the man?

 

 

 

 

.

 

Attracted to or attractive to?

 

Men are initially attracted by looks, generally. Then a host of other qualities, but looks are enough for a man to approach and want to learn more.

Posted
And what traits do women have in comparison, to make them attracted to the man?

do you mean to make them ATTRACTIVE to the man??? I don't know, what makes a woman attractive to YOU??

 

Why did you start this thread? You learned the answer to your question. Yes women in general like a man to make a move. That is the answer! I see that you dislike the answer but sais la vie!! :p:p There is no point in arguing about it though. Just keep waiting for a woman who doesn't care whether you make a move or not, though if she is not a very assertive type nothing is ever gonna happen. :(

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Posted (edited)

Male, do you REALLY want to know or do you have the answer and are just backing out from it to start an argument with the women who take the time to write?

 

So either because I am too nice, or too gullible, I will play. The two men I married waited to make a move. It drove me crazy but it also got me interested. My ex waited TOO long but we were in high school so I will give him a pass. ;):laugh: Crap I was setting up situation for him to kiss me since he wasn't being aggressive enough lol. But it definitely kept me interested.

 

I have done limited OLD and had one person kiss me. Why he kissed me, I don't know. The date was a disaster as I was still hung up on (my now) husband. But it was a nice kiss and we are still friends. It wasn't going to go anywhere and I know he knew it. That is the only person who has ever kissed me on a first date. I am not a big fan of that as I think it is too soon. But I also haven't had a ONS or anything like that so kind of vanilla in that regard.

 

But my husband now, he was just amazing at sexual tension. He did what some of the others have posted about, stood a little too close, deep penetrating looks, find a reason to respectfully touch me. The man turned me on so much I was a puddle. I appreciate a man that understands and knows how to draw out sexual tension. Even now, he will do things in a restaurant to just make me melt and keep my engine going. There is just that look he can give.

 

But I digress. In the beginning he showed interest, wanted to know what I thought and felt, treated me like an equal, and seemed to find me quite fascinating. Shoot, the man tagged along with me to take the horses to the farrier and have their shoes done. That is a man that is definitely interested! lol.

 

Oh and he is a great dancer. That is a biggie. :love:

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted
do you mean to make them ATTRACTIVE to the man???

 

Male, do you REALLY want to know or do you have the answer and are just backing out from it to start an argument with the women who take the time to write?

 

 

My point is that most women say they find men attractive based on their personality traits confidence, strong will, going after what they want...

 

But on the flip side women typically dont have those same traits, most men find women attractive for their physical traits.

 

Physical traits for me are not the priority, so when women tell me they want a confident guy with X Y Z....I look for the same in a woman, which unfortunately is hard to find from my experience, because even most women rely on their looks and sex appeal rather than projecting the same traits that they ask for.

Posted
My point is that most women say they find men attractive based on their personality traits confidence, strong will, going after what they want...

 

But on the flip side women typically dont have those same traits, most men find women attractive for their physical traits.

 

Physical traits for me are not the priority, so when women tell me they want a confident guy with X Y Z....I look for the same in a woman, which unfortunately is hard to find from my experience, because even most women rely on their looks and sex appeal rather than projecting the same traits that they ask for.

 

OH PLEEEZE,

 

What man doesn't pursue a woman for her physical traits? The guy who had enough courage/confidence to pursue a "3" over me? She sorta has a pretty face. You're gonna tell me her "face" didn't have nothing to do with it? That it was her "personality" that got his attention? Ok, I'll meet you half way, it was her pretty face and that she was so desperate for attention that when he told her that she was pretty that she started showing him attention back. So, he never really liked "her", he liked her pretty face and that she showed him attention. At the end of the day, she's still at "3" that the only reason he went after was NOT cuz of things he liked about her PERSONALITY, but cuz of her face and that she didn't run away when he showed her attention.

 

I don't date guys just cuz of their looks or cuz they showed me attention. Cuz, if I based my decision(s) to date guys cuz of how they looked and/or cuz they simply showed me attention, I wouldn't be a single woman.

 

Some of us actually hold out for more than "look" and/or someone simply showing us attention. "Looks" get your foot in the door, but we take time to get to know you.

 

And pleeze, the "3" he left me for has no sex appeal and/or personality. She's not that bright (except when it comes to manipulating men), lacks ambition, lazy, and lacks any passion or sexy in her bones.

 

Men look for "looks" most of the time and often put up with a woman's poop if she looks good - even when her body resembles cottage cheese and layers of dough. They prefer a pretty face over a good body.

Posted (edited)
My point is that most women say they find men attractive based on their personality traits confidence, strong will, going after what they want...

 

But on the flip side women typically dont have those same traits, most men find women attractive for their physical traits.

 

Physical traits for me are not the priority, so when women tell me they want a confident guy with X Y Z....I look for the same in a woman, which unfortunately is hard to find from my experience, because even most women rely on their looks and sex appeal rather than projecting the same traits that they ask for.

 

Well men and women *are* different . ..Mars vs. Venus ...ying to yang, and, as such, we are attracted to different traits and qualities in each other. And the sooner you learn that and ACCEPT that, the better off (less bitter and angry) you will be!

 

I have said this before but learn to embrace our differences instead of fighting them.

 

Educate yourself . ..there is an excellent book by Malcolm Gladwell entitled "Blink" discussing the power of *intuition" and how to utilize it effectively in your relationships ...and in weeding out the *bad* from the *good.*

 

No offense but you seem to lack the intuitive ability to discern certain signs and behaviors from women ...that would otherwise warn you to stay away from them..... OR if they are *worthy* (for lack of a better word) of your attention and pursuit.

 

Great book! As are others by that same author.

Edited by katiegrl
  • Like 1
Posted
Well men and women *are* different . ..Mars vs. Venus ...ying to yang, and, as such, we are attracted to different traits and qualities in each other. And the sooner you learn that and ACCEPT that, the better off (less bitter and angry) you will be!

 

I have said this before but learn to embrace our differences instead of fighting them.

 

Educate yourself . ..there is an excellent book by Malcolm Gladwell entitled "Blink" discussing the power of *intuition" and how to utilize it effectively in your relationships ...and in weeding out the *bad* from the *good.*

 

No offense but you seem to lack the intuitive ability to discern certain signs and behaviors from women ...that would otherwise warn you to stay away from them..... OR if they are *worthy* (for lack of a better word) of your attention and pursuit.

 

Great book! As are others by that same author.

 

Exactly ^^, cuz if you don't trust your ability to pick the good from the bad of women, then vilify all of them and remain perpetually single.

 

I find myself doing that at times...been there and done that with bad RLs, dates, etc., so I just find myself not even wanting to bother anymore. But, not to say that if I dare find a good man, I won't put him down. People like the OP are vilifying all women...period. The day a good woman ever meets them, they'll shoot her down and actually run back to the bad women they claim they want to avoid in the first place.

  • Like 1
Posted
My point is that most women say they find men attractive based on their personality traits confidence, strong will, going after what they want...

 

But on the flip side women typically dont have those same traits, most men find women attractive for their physical traits.

 

Physical traits for me are not the priority, so when women tell me they want a confident guy with X Y Z....I look for the same in a woman, which unfortunately is hard to find from my experience, because even most women rely on their looks and sex appeal rather than projecting the same traits that they ask for.

 

It's not "relying on". It's understanding what men want.

 

We still develop other traits for ourselves and our relationships, but we understand and accept that we need to be physically attractive to attract men, because we understand and accept (and love!) men as they are.

 

Can you understand and accept women as they are? Understand and accept what women are attracted to?

  • Like 1
Posted
My point is that most women say they find men attractive based on their personality traits confidence, strong will, going after what they want...

 

But on the flip side women typically dont have those same traits, most men find women attractive for their physical traits.

 

 

 

 

 

**Physical traits for me are not the priority, so when women tell me they want a confident guy with X Y Z....I look for the same in a woman, which unfortunately is hard to find from my experience, because even most women rely on their looks and sex appeal rather than projecting the same traits that they ask for.***

 

Quote in asterisk .....just read this again, and gotta say Male.... you are somewhat of an anomaly in that you are looking for the same qualities in women that you yourself and most other men possess.

 

That may be the problem ....you don't seek nor appreciate those qualities in women that are different from yours .... and in many instances complement yours.

 

So there remains a disconnect which is leaving you frustrated, angry and bitter.

 

Just a thought...... :)

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Posted

Agreed. My partner and I very much complement each other in strengths, and that's a big part of the sexual attraction. I am NOT sexually attracted to someone with my own personality, nor is he.

Posted
My point is that most women say they find men attractive based on their personality traits confidence, strong will, going after what they want...

 

But on the flip side women typically dont have those same traits, most men find women attractive for their physical traits.

 

Physical traits for me are not the priority, so when women tell me they want a confident guy with X Y Z....I look for the same in a woman, which unfortunately is hard to find from my experience, because even most women rely on their looks and sex appeal rather than projecting the same traits that they ask for.

 

?????? what traits don't women have? Confidence? How do you figure? Strong will?

 

Male, I think you are taking a very small slice of someone's interactions with you and drawing a general opinion that isn't actually true.

 

And why should people have the exact same traits that they are looking for? Where does it say that? We tend to look for people who complement us, not for carbon copies.

 

But there are a lot of women who are aggressive, maybe you don't actually find that attractive. I don't know.

 

I am very strong willed, aggressive, and a go getter. My life is clearly indicative of that. Does that mean I will push a man up against the wall and attack him when I am attracted to him? No. Does that mean I am not those traits? Nope. Just not in that one area.

 

Shoot, after having sex with my husband the first time, we went out to lunch and all I could do was blush and not make eye contact. I was SOOO flustered and couldnt get a handle on it. He LOVED that here was this strong willed woman who was a puddle of mush because of his impact on her. Talk about a major ego stroke!

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Posted
?????? what traits don't women have? Confidence? How do you figure? Strong will?

 

Male, I think you are taking a very small slice of someone's interactions with you and drawing a general opinion that isn't actually true.

 

And why should people have the exact same traits that they are looking for?

 

How many women approach and pursue men vs how many dont? The number isnt even close. Majority of women live with lots of insecurities about themselves and their bodies that men never deal with. Millions of women wont even leave the house without makeup on. Its getting better, thankfully, but its still a huge issue for many of them. Confidence when it comes to dating, and interacting with men is still a major issue for majority of women. They purposely hide behind the "its the guys job to chase, approach, and talk" theory because they wont admit they are scared to death to do it themselves. I would love if more women became proactive with it but sadly not enough do.

 

Having all the same traits is not a requirement. But insisting a guy has to have X amount of confidence, and judging how he approaches, or what he says, when the woman doesnt have guts to do the same thing is just wrong.

 

How well would it go over if I told a woman to "stop complaining, its not that bad" while she gave birth??

Posted
My point is that most women say they find men attractive based on their personality traits confidence, strong will, going after what they want...

 

But on the flip side women typically dont have those same traits, most men find women attractive for their physical traits.

 

Physical traits for me are not the priority, so when women tell me they want a confident guy with X Y Z....I look for the same in a woman, which unfortunately is hard to find from my experience, because even most women rely on their looks and sex appeal rather than projecting the same traits that they ask for.

Well. I think that insulting and frankly BS that "most women rely mostly on their looks and sex appeal," but whatevs; I will say that personally I am not looking for the exact traits that I posses in my guy. It's better if he has complementary traits to mine. I'm not the only one.

 

Evidently you don't have the traits of confidence, strong will and going after what you want - so you are seeking a woman who does have them? And what traits are you offering??

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Posted
Quote in asterisk .....just read this again, and gotta say Male.... you are somewhat of an anomaly in that you are looking for the same qualities in women that you yourself and most other men possess.

 

That may be the problem ....you don't seek nor appreciate those qualities in women that are different from yours .... and in many instances complement yours.

 

So there remains a disconnect which is leaving you frustrated, angry and bitter.

 

Just a thought...... :)

 

When I meet a new woman I have very few expectations to start with...

 

- Talk on the phone, texting isnt the adult form of communication

 

- Put your phone away, its time to get to know each other

 

- Be able to give and take during the conversation when we meet in person, dont just sit there like a bump on a log, waiting for me to carry the conversation, bring up new topics when the old one is done

 

 

80% of the women I have ever met fail at least 2 of those. Those traits are just basic traits being cordial with someone whether you are on a date or not, and they cant even manage that.

 

The reason so many of them fail...(my theory) is because very few if any men in their past has held them accountable for being anything other than a piece of ass in their eyes. If a woman like that is getting men, is she ever going to change?? Why would she? The problem is theres too many jerkoff men that dont hold women to a high enough standard, if any at all.

 

I'm not asking for a hell of a lot, just the basics, so I dont think theres anything wrong with me being angry, frustrated, or bitter with the results I'm having to deal with.

Posted

80% of the women I have ever met fail at least 2 of those. Those traits are just basic traits being cordial with someone whether you are on a date or not, and they cant even manage that.

 

The reason so many of them fail...(my theory) is because very few if any men in their past has held them accountable for being anything other than a piece of ass in their eyes. If a woman like that is getting men, is she ever going to change?? Why would she? The problem is theres too many jerkoff men that dont hold women to a high enough standard, if any at all.

.

Oh my you are so on the wrong track I can't even imagine how you got there!! :eek::eek:

 

Women who "fail" to talk on the phone with you, or who mess with their phone when they're with you, or are poor conversationalists are either 1) not at all interested in you, or 2) people with bad social skills, or 3) lame.

 

NOT BECAUSE OF MEN!!

 

It has NOTHING to do with men holding women accountable!! Where on Earth do you get the notion that women are supposed to be held accountable by men? Men aren't our dads or authority figures. My standards aren't determined by some man "holding" me to them!!! Sheesh! I can't even believe this! Look Male you are so off base about women and relationships men and women have together, you need to get some kind of relationship counseling even though you're not in a relationship!! :D:D

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Posted

 

It has NOTHING to do with men holding women accountable!! Where on Earth do you get the notion that women are supposed to be held accountable by men? Men aren't our dads or authority figures. My standards aren't determined by some man "holding" me to them!!! Sheesh! I can't even believe this!

 

Just because YOU dont feel you apply to what I stated doesnt mean it cancels it out entirely.

 

One of the big problems on a message board like this, is that many of the women instantly feel like they are being attacked, and have to fight with all their might to extinguish what the other person said, instead of realizing not every woman on the planet is exactly like them.

Posted
When I meet a new woman I have very few expectations to start with...

 

- Talk on the phone, texting isnt the adult form of communication

 

- Put your phone away, its time to get to know each other

 

- Be able to give and take during the conversation when we meet in person, dont just sit there like a bump on a log, waiting for me to carry the conversation, bring up new topics when the old one is done

 

 

80% of the women I have ever met fail at least 2 of those. Those traits are just basic traits being cordial with someone whether you are on a date or not, and they cant even manage that.

 

The reason so many of them fail...(my theory) is because very few if any men in their past has held them accountable for being anything other than a piece of ass in their eyes. If a woman like that is getting men, is she ever going to change?? Why would she? The problem is theres too many jerkoff men that dont hold women to a high enough standard, if any at all.

 

I'm not asking for a hell of a lot, just the basics, so I dont think theres anything wrong with me being angry, frustrated, or bitter with the results I'm having to deal with.

 

Male, please read the book I suggested earlier...as your intuitive abilities are really OFF.

 

Their rude and obnoxious behavior has nothing to do with not being held accountable.

 

The women you date who fail these *tests* are not interested in you, period.

 

Not sure what is preventing you from acknowledging this ....ego or whatever.

 

But acknowledge you should ....after which you abort ...next.

 

Stop wasting your time trying to figure out women who very clearly are just not interested in you.

 

The End.

  • Author
Posted
Male, please read the book I suggested earlier...as your intuitive abilities are really OFF.

 

Their rude and obnoxious behavior has nothing to do with not being held accountable.

 

The women you date who fail these *tests* are not interested in you, period.

 

Not sure what is preventing you from acknowledging this ....ego or whatever.

 

But acknowledge you should ....after which you abort ...next.

 

Stop wasting your time trying to figure out women who very clearly are just not interested in you.

 

The End.

 

Let me school everyone once again.

 

I get a womans number, and ask her whens a good time to call...she says "I dont really like to talk on the phone, but you can text me"

 

Now obviously shes interested because she just gave me her number.

 

But because other men accept her "texting" only behavior, she continues to do it.

 

If all men started holding her accountable for it, and telling her "No thanks, I dont date women that only text" she will either have to change or continue to get ignored.

 

 

I really cant believe I have to explain this.

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