An0nymiss666 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Hey LS, I was just looking for some firsthand experiences or opinions on the larger age gaps. I know age is literally just a number...but once we get past that 10 year mark is when more heads start to turn and it gets a little questionable. Now there's a man in his late 30s and I'm in my mid 20s. I'm really clicking with him, we're just talking/texting and going out for drinks once in a while. He's 12 years older. He has his own house/career/etc so he's not an old bum. Also no kids. Even if it doesn't work out I want to keep it in mind for the future since there's a lot of older-than-I bachelors and divorcees out there that might be worth a try and it's come up quite a few times this year since I've been single. Beyond that initial spark, is it really just a matter of respecting the differences, if any, and figuring out if that will work? For instance I know it's not a wonderful idea to date someone old enough to be my father, or a married dude. It's obviously relative to the guy, too. Does anyone have any tips or revelations from dating older/younger depending on which spot you're in?
Rydo Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I saw a girl 13 years younger for a while. It didn't really bother me at first but because she wasn't very old I knew it wouldn't last. Still it was fun having a younger girl chase for a while 1
Author An0nymiss666 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I was worried about that! I dig older guys but I wonder how long it can really last. Still feeling out the situation though...
Arabellad25 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Hi there, I'm 28 - my boyfriend who I've just moved in with is 40 so similar to you guys. We enjoy the same things & have a great time together, as he's slightly more advanced career wise I find it can be a struggle to keep up with him financially but he has an acceptionally well paid job & actually for my age I do very well. I can't see any difference from dating him to someone 5 years younger. It's about the time you spend together and both of your maturity levels. If you feel ready to settle into something long term then set all other worries aside. If not then if just be clear from the start as often age can come with a want to settle and you wouldn't want to waste anyone's time. 1
Rydo Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Really depends on the ages. 37 to 50 isn't a big deal. In my case it was 16-29 which isn't really going to work out no matter how mature she is or how young I appear. Just different stages in life and I would have probably avoided it if I knew the age gap at the start. 1
loveweary11 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 As someone who was married with that age gap for 10 years and who dates large age gaps now, I can give some practical advice: 1: Forget your ages entirely. Just be in the moment with each other. 2: Watch out for reminiscing about children's television shows. That is always a huge reminder for both and makes the age gap feel like 50 year! lol 3: Hopefully, you like or can grow to like each other's music. 4: You need to meet each other half way. Imo, it's mostly on the fossil to adapt to the younger person. That's what I do. But, he may fall short here and there. Be supportive even if he can't get every word of that Fetty Wap song right. Most of all, just have fun! Enjoy each other and don't even think about age. Just enjoy. 10 years is actually the perfect age difference anyway. Ask any specific questions if you have them. I'm very, very experienced in this.
Gaeta Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 It's not a big deal now but it will be later. When you hit 40 at the peak of your life he'll be 52 and on the decline. When you're 50 and be at the top of your game as a woman, still beautiful, still full of energy, he'll be 62. Women stay healthy and active much longer than men. To me there is more age-gap successful relationships when the woman is older. I am 50 yo and I don't see myself with a 62 yo man. 1
oberkeat Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 (edited) When I was born, my father was 40 and my mother was 24. When my father took me to kindergarten, folks thought he was my grandfather instead of my father. Other than that, it never seemed to be a huge deal in my parents' relationship, or my childhood. It's pretty common for men to marry down because by the time they reach my age most women are already married. Edited November 17, 2015 by oberkeat
Rydo Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 It's not a big deal now but it will be later. When you hit 40 at the peak of your life he'll be 52 and on the decline. When you're 50 and be at the top of your game as a woman, still beautiful, still full of energy, he'll be 62. Women stay healthy and active much longer than men. To me there is more age-gap successful relationships when the woman is older. I am 50 yo and I don't see myself with a 62 yo man. I think the opposite is more common. I would probably not consider an older woman or even one my age. In my opinion I think men age better than woman. I'm sure I'll be slandered for that comment
Author An0nymiss666 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I agree the older you get the less an age gap matters. I can definitely see not being able to keep up with him financially. So far, we seem to enjoy the same things but we've only spent time going out together so I'll have to see how it is once I get to know him on a different level spending time alone. I've definitely thought of things like that, I'll never really know how I'll compare to someone that much older than me once I get to that stage in the game. I think both of us are on the fence about having kids, but I'd feel pressured only because of him being an older dad. I still have a lot of time to decide on kids and he's closer to 40 already. I know that's something to consider
Shanex Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I like older women. As goes the adage 'they do it better'. But the OP is about Relationship just not roll in the hay. Id say why not. My most 'successful' RS lasted for years with a woman almost a decade older. We really were a match... Until the breakup.
newmoon Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 all of my ltr's have been with men exactly 10 years older... i guess i just prefer men born in that year :-) it has always gone extremely well.. there is enough of a difference so they can feel mature and manly, and not so much that your music references are lost on them. there was always some degree of 'teaching' on my part - teaching them phrases, new technology, and popular culture references. it makes less difference as you age - a 30s woman with 40s man isn't a big deal, but a 20 girl with a 30 guy will feel the difference more because they are in very different life stages and may not have clear lifestyle goals. i wouldn't give guys older than you too much credit for being mature and decided on anything though... if anything, they can be just as immature as younger guys, if not more. you just need to be careful that you're not being used for your youth and connections to all things younger, and that the guy doesn't have a 'thing' for younger women. i did find - once - that the guy was fairly obsessed with women that looked and acted young, so you have to watch their motives for dating younger women, like you would for any age, though. i would never go above 10 years though - i've tried a 15 and a 19, and the cultural/social references are too great and the expectations are different b/c you were both raised in different eras.
Author An0nymiss666 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I think the opposite is more common. I would probably not consider an older woman or even one my age. In my opinion I think men age better than woman. I'm sure I'll be slandered for that comment I might be slandered too but I have to kind of agree...for instance I love the whole salt and pepper gray on guys, don't mind some wrinkles. But like I said I like older men...just never dated one! Of course a woman can be smokin' regardless of age, but how many younger guys will say they particularly find gray on women to be sexy?
Rydo Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I might be slandered too but I have to kind of agree...for instance I love the whole salt and pepper gray on guys, don't mind some wrinkles. But like I said I like older men...just never dated one! Of course a woman can be smokin' regardless of age, but how many younger guys will say they particularly find gray on women to be sexy? I meant to say slaughtered but autocorrelation decided to change that. I know a lot of older women, some a couple of years some more and I can say I 100% do not fancy a single one.
Author An0nymiss666 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 i would never go above 10 years though - i've tried a 15 and a 19, and the cultural/social references are too great and the expectations are different b/c you were both raised in different eras. I used to say I'd never go above 10 for the same reasons. Anybody can have a lot in common, but at that point you're already being raised differently so there's less and less to relate to as you go higher. I definitely think our gap is borderline and needs some time to unfold...but I suppose you have a point, even if we like doing the same things, being raised in different eras might make people incompatible. But the chemistry is there, so I want to give it a try! A couple of years ago there was a guy a whopping 20 years older than me that took a liking to me...and there was NO WAY I was about to get into that!
Gaeta Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Of course a woman can be smokin' regardless of age, but how many younger guys will say they particularly find gray on women to be sexy? lol I can't let this one go by of course. Elizabeth hurley 50 Sandra Bullock 50 Vanessa Williams 51 Julianne Moore 54 Where's the grey? Men preferring older ladies are turned on by sexiness, confidence, sassyness and sexual freedom. The bold was a silly comment.
truth_seeker Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Is John Stamos old? Derek Jeter old? Both are with younger women. Look at Howard Stern. Guy is 60? His wife 25 years younger? Yes, I know they're rich celebrities, but it shows age gaps are nothing. I think older man with younger woman works. If you want a family, a woman has to be in that 18-33 age range. Guys can go without having kids into their 40s, 50s. Women who are over 35 are less likely to have kids. I looked online and Geraldo Rivera is 72 years old. His wife is 40. They married when she was 28. They have one kid who is 10 years old. I think people are okay with this? Now what if it were the other way around? Geraldo was 28 and married a 60 year old woman? I think people would be grossed out? Forget it being Geraldo, I'm just saying older man with younger woman people look passed but young guy with an older woman people cringe. Am I right? 1
truth_seeker Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Hey LS, I was just looking for some firsthand experiences or opinions on the larger age gaps. I know age is literally just a number...but once we get past that 10 year mark is when more heads start to turn and it gets a little questionable. Now there's a man in his late 30s and I'm in my mid 20s. I'm really clicking with him, we're just talking/texting and going out for drinks once in a while. He's 12 years older. He has his own house/career/etc so he's not an old bum. Also no kids. Even if it doesn't work out I want to keep it in mind for the future since there's a lot of older-than-I bachelors and divorcees out there that might be worth a try and it's come up quite a few times this year since I've been single. Beyond that initial spark, is it really just a matter of respecting the differences, if any, and figuring out if that will work? For instance I know it's not a wonderful idea to date someone old enough to be my father, or a married dude. It's obviously relative to the guy, too. Does anyone have any tips or revelations from dating older/younger depending on which spot you're in? I think it's okay OP because you're in your mid-20s, out of school, and I tend to believe women are more mature at 24 then men that age. He's in his 30s, which by today's standards is still young. I don't think it would be okay if you were 18-22 (still in school) and the guy was 28-32 age range. If you're happy with him, he's happy with you, go with it. It should be about your happiness not what other people may or may not say. 1
Gaeta Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 You are asking my opinion and here it is. When I was 33 I entered a relationship with a man that was 45. We were together 4 years. Our age gap had no meaning. We got along great, we liked the same things, we were active etc. Fast forward. I am now 50 and if I'd still be with him I'd have a boyfriend of 62 who gets annoyed at children's laughter and who falls asleep in front of tv at 8 pm.
Gaeta Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I looked online and Geraldo Rivera is 72 years old. His wife is 40. They married when she was 28. They have one kid who is 10 years old. I think people are okay with this? Now what if it were the other way around? Geraldo was 28 and married a 60 year old woman? I think people would be grossed out? Forget it being Geraldo, I'm just saying older man with younger woman people look passed but young guy with an older woman people cringe. Am I right? They look good on the red carpet but how to you think is their day to day life in private?
truth_seeker Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 You are asking my opinion and here it is. When I was 33 I entered a relationship with a man that was 45. We were together 4 years. Our age gap had no meaning. We got along great, we liked the same things, we were active etc. Fast forward. I am now 50 and if I'd still be with him I'd have a boyfriend of 62 who gets annoyed at children's laughter and who falls asleep in front of tv at 8 pm. How do you know he would be that way at 62? I ran a race and this old guy blazed right by me. He did a 5k race in 20 minutes. I figured he was some avid runner in his 40's. Guy was 75! Not all men become fat slobs. Some of us like to be active at any age!
Author An0nymiss666 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 lol I can't let this one go by of course. Elizabeth hurley 50 Sandra Bullock 50 Vanessa Williams 51 Julianne Moore 54 Where's the grey? Men preferring older ladies are turned on by sexiness, confidence, sassyness and sexual freedom. The bold was a silly comment. I wasn't saying older women in general weren't sexy. In fact I said that they are. You missed the point. Women will actually say they like gray on a guy. Men won't say "I love a woman with that salt and pepper hair!"
truth_seeker Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 They look good on the red carpet but how to you think is their day to day life in private? Yea, and how do women look without make up? I think it comes down to compatibility and each other's personality.
Gaeta Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I'm just saying older man with younger woman people look passed but young guy with an older woman people cringe. Am I right? Not in my world. Susan Sarandon was 30 years older than Tim Robbins. They were together something like 25 years. You think he was not a lucky guy to have her? Maybe you think Megan Fox would is a more interesting, accomplished and articulate woman. 1
Author An0nymiss666 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 Is John Stamos old? Derek Jeter old? Both are with younger women. Look at Howard Stern. Guy is 60? His wife 25 years younger? Yes, I know they're rich celebrities, but it shows age gaps are nothing. I think older man with younger woman works. If you want a family, a woman has to be in that 18-33 age range. Guys can go without having kids into their 40s, 50s. Women who are over 35 are less likely to have kids. MAJOR PROPS, I'm a Stern superfan and love Beth O They're actually the first thing I thought of. Very common among famous folks. On the other hand you have a point there as well. Women only have so long to have children and men can still father kids as they get older. 1
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