Jump to content

He wasn't "ready" to be in a relationship but he's been dating her!

runningscared79

By runningscared79
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

runningscared79 Member

runningscared79

Posted
Posted

My ex boyfriend seems to have gotten "ready" to be back in a relationship right about the time he and I broke up. When we were together, he never wanted pics of us together on Facebook.. but he is proudly displaying pics of him and his new girlfriend just a month later (he and I were together 3 months).

 

Just makes me angry. I blocked him on social media and took him off my friends list. I just feel like crap. Why wasn't I good enough to him? It hurts to see him with someone else after him just saying he wasn't ready to be in a relationship! That was a total lie!!!! I haven't been out on any dates since the split. I think he found her when he and I were together because he was so weird and distant the last 2 weeks we were together.

 

Just hurting today. Needed to vent. He put on such a great, loving show up until the day we broke up.

AliOop Member

AliOop

Posted
Posted

Running, I'm sorry this has happened to you and it sucks. I agree with you that he probably met while you were together and am guessing that he was romancing her the entire time - hence, not allowing photos of the two of you to be shown.

 

 

Good for you for blocking him - keep that going even if he comes calling again.

 

 

I was in the same situation once and remember all to well how painful it was.....the good news is - the pain DOES end. Maybe not today or even next week, but it WILL.

 

 

Hugs to you.

  • Like 1
Samhain Established Member

Samhain

Posted
Posted

For sure sounds like he wasn't emotionally invested in you any longer. A lot of the time when someone says "I'm not ready to be in a relationship " what that means is they aren't ready/don't want to be in a relationship with YOU. You're probably right that he met her while he was with you and it triggered the whole ending. Three months isn't a long time, lucky you got out now than to be hurt longer down the line when you were even more involved, try and look at it that way.

  • Like 1
casey.lives Established Member

casey.lives

Posted
Posted

Im not ready usually means im not ready... or im not into you.

  • Like 2
seekingpeaceinlove Established Member

seekingpeaceinlove

Posted
Posted

I know it hurts and what happened has taken a hit on your self esteem. DON'T let it. Change your prospective..there is a better fit out there for YOU. Someone who will adore you, be with you and want to show your relationship off to the world.

 

No more wasting your energy on someone who wasn't invested in you. Clearly, he is not "the one!" NEXT!

  • Like 1
lana-banana Established Member

lana-banana

Posted
Posted

I'm not ready, I don't want to date anyone at the moment, I'm not in the right frame of mind to date, I want to focus on myself --- all these things are attractive little excuses for "I'm not interested in dating you". You know they're excuses because when the right person comes along they're suddenly ready to fall in love and put a ring on it. It's aggravating, but there's nothing you can do besides accept it for what it is and try to forget them.

  • Like 3
didithappen Member

didithappen

Posted
Posted
My ex boyfriend seems to have gotten "ready" to be back in a relationship right about the time he and I broke up. When we were together, he never wanted pics of us together on Facebook.. but he is proudly displaying pics of him and his new girlfriend just a month later (he and I were together 3 months).

 

Just makes me angry. I blocked him on social media and took him off my friends list. I just feel like crap. Why wasn't I good enough to him? It hurts to see him with someone else after him just saying he wasn't ready to be in a relationship! That was a total lie!!!! I haven't been out on any dates since the split. I think he found her when he and I were together because he was so weird and distant the last 2 weeks we were together.

 

Just hurting today. Needed to vent. He put on such a great, loving show up until the day we broke up.

 

Hey OP, I went through a similar situation. It's too bad really, your ex took the cowardly way out rather than the decent and honest way.

 

 

My ex broke up with me because she needed time alone, to work on herself, to discover her passions....etc... She was also acting funny the last month. Of course all of that was a lie. She really broke up with me to jump into a relationship with some guy she was having an emotional affair with.

 

 

Some people just can't own up to their own truths. Consider yourself lucky. Now you don't have to be with someone who is capable of that.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted
Why wasn't I good enough to him?

Unfortunately that's simply not how interpersonal relationships work. People don't sit down and make a list of how good people are to them. They don't think logically about these things. People go with their feelings.

 

He decided based on his feelings that he didn't want to be in a relationship with you. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do to change that now. Just know that it wasn't that you weren't good enough. It was his feelings (or lack thereof) that led him to end the relationship.

 

The fact that he has different feelings for someone else is immaterial really. Now you need to heal yourself and move on. The best way for you to do that is no contact.

  • Like 3
Jenmarie Member

Jenmarie

Posted
Posted

This happened to me. This guy was absolutely crazy about me. We spent about three months, seeing each other, going on dates, enjoying each other's company. He said he wanted me to be his girlfriend soon but he wanted to take things slow and I was all for that (it's a bit hard for me to consider someone a 'boyfriend'). Then randomly he became aloof and then told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. I asked him if he was sure, and then he asked for space.

 

Turns out, a girl he was super into years ago and turned down to date someone else (and spent a long time regretting it) recently became single. He didn't want the same thing to happen again (where he chose another girl instead of this girl and feel like he missed out on her).

 

Unfortunately, he didn't even tell me the truth. He didn't tell me anything. All he asked for was space because I asked him what he wanted and if he didn't want me, I can leave just fine. I guess he wanted me to be back burner so pulled the "Hey, can you give me space for awhile" card. I honestly have no idea. He has no idea I found out everything either.

 

I removed him off all social media and have not seen him since, and I don't plan to speak to him. Don't ever be anyone's second choice. If he didn't want to date you, there's thousands more that would love to have a girl like you. Focus on you, and everything will fall into place when timing is right.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...