ByMyself01 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 (edited) Like this really hurts and it makes no sense. He came over to my house to pick up 3 shirts that he left over my house that I washed and folded for him. The next thing I know, he gets a call from the DA's office and he gives up my address and all saying I was harassing him then family and his friends. I'm not scared because the only thing he can do is get a restraining order and that's if they give it to him. We only argued a few times about the break-up and the reasons over it and he goes to the authorities on me? It's like he hates me or something. But now that he has done that, I finally see the picture much clearer, but I should have seen it when I found out he was courting a woman he only known for 3 months and he done more for her than he did for me the whole 3 yrs we dated. I'm just shocked and hurt that he went to authorities on me and all I was being was nice to him. Not only that, he betrayed me in my face. Every since then I haven't talked to him or heard from him (he cannot contact me, I no longer have the same number; he only can contact me via email or Facebook now), but to be honest I did check his Facebook profile and he seems happy and relieved. SMH. It's like he wants to bring my life down and break me down. The woman he is now dating has 3 children and lives with someone (I believe a man) and he cannot come to her house. Everything they do together either has to be in a hotel or out in the open for he lives with his parents and they don't allow him company with women he just met. I just feel betrayed and hated. Everything was perfect. We worked the same schedule, we could spend lots of time together and all that, but he didn't care and didn't want me. He would rather be with a woman who has nothing going for herself and possibly using him for money (he sent her money too) and he can't hang out with her like he wants. I'm angry and hurt at the same time. I just think he's happy he's out of the fire with me and he feels more happier with the new woman because she doesn't demand a lot of time with him because she simply doesn't care. Hope he's happy. What should I do? And don't say move on, because that's obvious. But I am hurting so what can I do in the meantime. I already workout, work and talk to friends, but it's not helping and I want to one day talk to him for closure and why he betrayed me. Edited November 16, 2015 by ByMyself01
Triggs1234 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Delete from FB immediately, cannot contact him. That is very unfortunate, sounds a bit much, but I don't know the full story. 1
Author ByMyself01 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 Delete from FB immediately, cannot contact him. That is very unfortunate, sounds a bit much, but I don't know the full story. He filed harassment on me and he was the one consistently coming over to visit me. I do admit I usually contacted him first in convos, but it always lead to arguments. He's not a friend on Facebook, but I was curious. As far as the harassment charge, I was not notified by authorities yet. I don't know what will happen but usually in NYC they only take a report but no actions are taken unless the person starts stalking and personally showing up. But I stopped contacting him because I see how far he is taking this. Again, it makes no sense because sometimes he would show up to my house after I missed a text from him asking me did I want him to come over and he would come anyways. It's confusing and annoying that he would do this and he act like I am such a pest, but he continually saw me and responded to every text message. I'm LOST and shocked really.
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Get a lawyer. You don't need this hanging over your head. As soon as the legal proceedings are concluded be done with him forever. 1
Author ByMyself01 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 Get a lawyer. You don't need this hanging over your head. As soon as the legal proceedings are concluded be done with him forever. This is my plan! That is the ULTIMATE form of betrayal. Worse than cheating. How can a person betray you right in your face? Lack of care. I just can't. Thinking of it only makes me feel worse.
StBreton Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I'm really sorry this happened to you. This man is accountable for HIS behavior and you must understand that his inability to handle a situation appropriately has no bearing on YOU as a person ... please keep telling yourself that. When you say you feel betrayed ... you are putting yourself in part of the equation ... and attributing his behavior to something YOU did. This guy has some crazy-making behavior ... it's obvious because of the situation he's put himself into with the new woman in his life. I know you cared for this person and it's sad that the relationship is over. Mourn for its ending. Once you do that, you will be thankful to be done with it...he didn't treat you well as you have said. As far as his crazy-making behavior with reporting you for harassment ... like I said...don't own any part of it. (Yes you did contact him but he could have easily just blocked you from email and phone ... not created a legal issue for you). I would block him from everything. Do not contact him or stalk him on FB...just do things that help relieve the pain of loss and find things that bring joy and healing to your wounded spirit. 1
Author ByMyself01 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 I'm really sorry this happened to you. This man is accountable for HIS behavior and you must understand that his inability to handle a situation appropriately has no bearing on YOU as a person ... please keep telling yourself that. When you say you feel betrayed ... you are putting yourself in part of the equation ... and attributing his behavior to something YOU did. This guy has some crazy-making behavior ... it's obvious because of the situation he's put himself into with the new woman in his life. I know you cared for this person and it's sad that the relationship is over. Mourn for its ending. Once you do that, you will be thankful to be done with it...he didn't treat you well as you have said. As far as his crazy-making behavior with reporting you for harassment ... like I said...don't own any part of it. (Yes you did contact him but he could have easily just blocked you from email and phone ... not created a legal issue for you). I would block him from everything. Do not contact him or stalk him on FB...just do things that help relieve the pain of loss and find things that bring joy and healing to your wounded spirit. Crazy isn't even the word. I'm not saying this to bash him for what he did, but I do believe there are some mental problems going on there. And as far as the new woman. It will crash and burn sure enough. When I did communicate with her, it seems he's doing the chasing and she's using it to her advantage. He is not allowed at her house nor has she accepted his friend request on Facebook. Looks like someone is having an affair. I know I shouldn't care, but I feel like justice should be done and I'm seeing a crashing, burning experience. And I just hope he doesn't come running back to me after what he did to me. I have been nothing but NICE and that's what makes me angry the most.
Tayla Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 adults are allowed to file restraints. Follow protocal. Glad he is doing something to protect himself. 2
sandylee1 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 He's an idiot. I hope this woman chews him up and spits him out. What a waste of time and space he is. Get the charges sorted out and ask him not to contact you again....unless you have to sort out any legal matters. 1
Ms. Faust Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 What is he claiming in his harassment charge?
Author ByMyself01 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 adults are allowed to file restraints. Follow protocal. Glad he is doing something to protect himself. I get what you're saying, but you're missing the point. It's really a false restraint because he was the one coming over to my house and whenever our conversation didn't go the way he wanted, he calls it harassment. Just because he's angry that I wouldn't "listen" to him because he wanted control. He was angry at me because I would try to "communicate" with him about talking to other women and flirting like normal couples are supposed to do when they have issues and he took it as an offense and retaliated with false statements. Harassment is when you have had no interaction with a persona and repeatedly told them to leave you alone. And say for instance you tell someone to leave you alone, but you keep bothering them so they respond. That's not harassment, but in his eyes it is even if he was showing up to my house to supposedly "talk."
salparadise Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 From now on, be sure to declare "no drama." That should avert any further issues. 1
Tayla Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Again, he is allowed to protect himself. A lawyer would best be able to clarify to which degree it can be filed under. First degree or second degree. You are welcome to counter sue if you have evidence to the contrary. I think based on your past history posts, you need to listen to a lawyer. We are not here to give advisal other then to see to it that you get proper counsel as an option. I read your past posts so I limit myself on what is fair given this topic thread. 1
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