Scenario Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 This is my first post, although I have gotten lots of help on other issues by reading loveshack posts. I am hoping I can get some advice on my situation. My best friend is a guy, I love him, he has been there for me a lot, until lately. He started being elusive, disappearing, saying he is busy... So unlike him. So I got in a problem, a heart break. A guy I had been seeing cheated. So he reappeared, to be there for me like he usually is.. As we were catching up, I came to find out a family member of his has been diagnosed with cancer.. I think that explains the elusiveness. Anyway, he was struggling to talk about it, but he finally told me everything. I had to ask severally, before he finally opened up. He is trying to seems like it really is not bothering him... But I know it is. He said to me that he is okay, that its all okay. I just don't know how to be there for him through this. if I ask if he is ok he says yes. Do I just let it go? Im way more expressive than he is, so when I am not okay, he doesn't have to struggle to hear about it. I really want to be there for him as he always is for me, I just don't know how in this situation. Any advice much appreciated.
Giggle Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Geez he sounds like mine. Some people are of the variety that they want asked and asked and have it dragged out of them, but I imagine that's not it. There isn't really anything you can do but be there. I think asking if he is ok is pointless, admitting to not being ok doesn't seem to happen much with those types. But you can restate how you are there for him anytime. Other than that, offer distraction. I babble more. When my grandma lost her husband, asking if she was ok or how she was doing seemed to be about the dumbest ever. And I couldn't hug her or help her with stuff, so I long distance set about making her smile. I emailed her almost daily. Told her funny stories about my kids and my life. Sent her pictures. Told her about my day. And she is of the same quiet and held in type. She loved it.
Author Scenario Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 Thanks Giggle! Will try to be the distraction I hope thats what he needs...
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