nathan101 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Relationships end no doubt. And times after we realise that the person was completely wrong for us. I think I still have more of an attachment towards my ex . was a 3 years relationship. . I'm more so over it but I'm not too pro active right now so I think bout her sometimes but I don't feel anything I forget it quickly . I just wanted to know what gives you guys strength to walk away from a relationship or after a relationship when the person was wrong for you. I mean you loved and cared for each other but were just wrong for each other. So what gives you guys that push to stay strong. To keep that no contact going as well. Thanks a lot.
LLQ1986 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 The fact that person didn't want to commit because he has no strong romantic feelings for me and sees no shared future with me. Guess the abovementioned would suffice for me to convince myself to walk away. 1
Silver_star Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I think replaying the break up or the negatives about the guy that broke up with me help me stay strong. His flaws...even if they weren't a big deal when we were dating, I can focus on how there is a way better guy out there, because I hated how dirty his house was when I came over, or how he never got me flowers or planned romantic dates anymore. He wasn't making any effort near the end. It makes it easier to accept that you deserve way better. It's hard to stay NC when he is contacting me (he is the dumper)...but ultimately I know that actions speak louder than words. If a guy wants to be with me he will find a way to get to me and let me know how he feels. 1
Author nathan101 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 I guess its alot harder to let go than people say. but sometimes its whats best.
Damaged217 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I think replaying the break up or the negatives about the guy that broke up with me help me stay strong. His flaws...even if they weren't a big deal when we were dating, I can focus on how there is a way better guy out there, because I hated how dirty his house was when I came over, or how he never got me flowers or planned romantic dates anymore. He wasn't making any effort near the end. It makes it easier to accept that you deserve way better. It's hard to stay NC when he is contacting me (he is the dumper)...but ultimately I know that actions speak louder than words. If a guy wants to be with me he will find a way to get to me and let me know how he feels. I think I'm dating your ex. lol. I'm going through the same thing. My boyfriend makes no effort. I can't remember the last time he got me flowers and he never makes the dates. I always have to. Today is our anniversary and he has nothing planned nor have I gotten any flowers. I know I'm just going to go home and get into a big fight with him. I'm trying to find the strength to end it, but it's so hard. And I don't know why. I think this would be much easier if we did not live together.
justsounsure Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 What pushes me to stay strong? Always the fact that I did everything I could. And no matter what I do, the end result is always the same. For me it's the knowledge of what has happened in my past when I did NOT stay strong. I had a 2 year relationship a few years back that went on 18 months longer than it should have ... and that's because I could not stay strong and accept what my partner was really showing me. I chose to believe her flimsy words ... her moments of neediness ... I chose to look to all that when I wanted to find an excuse to keep fighting to stay together, because I didn't want to face the truth: that she was a terrible partner to me, and that she clearly did not want to be with me. So, instead, I would try to end it and never follow through. Or she would end it and I would chase. You know where that got me? 2 years later, me buying a ring and proposing, her saying Yes, and then 8 days later she vanished and I never saw her again. Wasn't worth it. So, now as soon as someone shows me they aren't 100% about us (once they have been 100%, and then they start going backwards), I make a final stand, and then if that doesn't work, I give up. Is it easy? Hell no. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just saying that I am letting this go, and letting life go as it may. Does it suck? Yes. Am I completely clueless as to what to do next? Yes. But I see no other way. I did everything I could in this relationship to try to make it work, and it still did not. Nothing I do is changing that. So I'm choosing not to do anything anymore. I'm heartbroken, and I miss my love ... but damn ... she knows where I am if she really wanted to find me. Hasn't yet! 1
aisuru Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 #1 I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with me. #2 I know each subsequent relationship as been better than the previous one. #3 I choose to love only somebody who also chooses to love me.
Meli22 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 For me it was a few things.. The fact that my ex tried to change me so much, wouldn't let me wear anything that showed any of my shape, the constant accusations of me looking at other men, if a man looked at me it was always my fault, I was an "attention seeker with daddy issues" (I would walk around with my eyes to the floor most the time to avoid arguments), always telling me I need to be more respectful, withholding affection and becoming distant, not wanting to do anything that I did, being lazy and then complaining the spark went, making me wait whilst he decided whether he wanted me. I didn't wait, at that point I walked. I cringe at how much I put up with.
livingon Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I keep giving him chances despite he broke my heart. A liar who is so obsessed with seeing my sexy pictures which I cringe everytime he demands without caring whether I am not well etc. The final shot is I was down because I lost my job and I asked him whether he will console me when I am depressed. I waited a day for his reply and he said no, unless I showed him pics again.
Silver_star Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I keep giving him chances despite he broke my heart. A liar who is so obsessed with seeing my sexy pictures which I cringe everytime he demands without caring whether I am not well etc. The final shot is I was down because I lost my job and I asked him whether he will console me when I am depressed. I waited a day for his reply and he said no, unless I showed him pics again. What a creeper.
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