mrwigand Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I said in a previous post that I ran into my BPD-exgf and her boyfriend at a party. We've been broken up for months, but it still hurt to be in her presence so I left. But I said hi to her and exchanged some kind words with her, really made an effort to make sure it wasn't awkward. I guess I didn't sell it too well because she texted me at midnight last night saying something to the effect of, "I know this is a weird question to get so late, but something has been on my mind a lot. Were you weirded out by my presence at that party?" I'm not in love with receiving a text like this. We're on good terms, but the last time we spoke in depth I told her I needed A LOT of space (and this was after an incident in which she went out of her way to show me pictures of her and her new boyfriend when I had just met for her to pay me some money back, and I had made it pretty clear that kind of stuff made me uncomfortable and it's what I was getting distance from. i don't know, her texting me just felt weird, and maybe a little inappropriate and boundary busting. Like she was poking at a scab to see if I was still hurting. Obviously I was, but I felt like those weren't the kinds of things we should discuss anymore so I just told her everything was cool, and I just had to leave the party early. Then I didn't hear anything back from her. i don't know. It just felt like a little jab, like she would have liked knowing it bothered me seeing her there. That was my instinct at least. Does that sound off base?
Samhain Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 You shouldn't answer at all, she's looking for an ego boost. Next time, don't even acknowledge her no matter what you think or feel.
NoLeafClover Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 1 - Do not answer that bs questions. 2 - If you FOR W.E REASON FEEL YOU HAVE TO ANSWER, ***this is the only options you get: a - Huh? Not at all. b - You take and send a dick pic with caption ( he woke up when I saw you) 3 - If she ever sends you a pic of her and her bf again... you ONLY send option 'b' with captions (suck this). 4 - Just block her dude. I know this might sound funny..but I am serious about this lol.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Don't respond to her anymore. My ex-boyfriend is also a sufferer of BPD. He would send messages like that to me, too. I eventually stopped replying and he got bored and stopped sending them. I understand what you're going through. Stay strong; it isn't easy overcoming a relationship like that. But you will! 1
qubist Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 b - You take and send a dick pic with caption ( he woke up when I saw you) 3 - If she ever sends you a pic of her and her bf again... you ONLY send option 'b' with captions (suck this). :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: that would make her block him for good 4 - Just block her dude. OP, just Block her that's all you have to do
qubist Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 mrwigand: she is looking for an ego boost. it is a very common behavior. she wants assurance that you are still wishing you can be with her, her ego needs to see you on your knees crying for her. That doesn't mean she is a terrible person it is just an ill behavior. do not give her that ego boost. do your best acting not to show any emotion, I wish you had stayed at the party like nothing happened. you have to get to that point where she doesn't bother you anymore, this should be your priority.
Confusioncreepsin Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 THERE MUST BE A PONY IN HERE, SOMEWHERE - Sorting Your Way Through the BPD Madness!
PaperCrane Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 THERE MUST BE A PONY IN HERE, SOMEWHERE - Sorting Your Way Through the BPD Madness! Holy moly this was a literal Godsend. Not to distract from the OP's post but this...this literally describes my situation. Especially the waif BPD. Follow the others advice. Ignore and ignore. 2
MadJackBird Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 The best response when dealing with BPD is no response.
Confusioncreepsin Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Holy moly this was a literal Godsend. Not to distract from the OP's post but this...this literally describes my situation. Especially the waif BPD. Follow the others advice. Ignore and ignore. You have no idea!!! It saved my sanity and gave me great tools to work on me. But the articles are all great. I am not affiliated but like to share what helped me understand ....FINALLY. I thought I was crazy.
PaperCrane Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 You have no idea!!! It saved my sanity and gave me great tools to work on me. But the articles are all great. I am not affiliated but like to share what helped me understand ....FINALLY. I thought I was crazy. Me too! Like I just couldn't understand what has been going on for so long. It just all makes sense now. I must be trying to fix the person I've been longing for to get the attention and praise I never did from my dad, and by fixing her I'd be healing my mother. Thank you so much for posting that. Apologies for the mini hijack. 1
Recommended Posts