Winterina Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 He is 40. He laughs at everything like its the funniest thing in the world. Most of all, he laughs out loud after every second sentence he says. No matter what it is. He laughs at his own dumb jokes, even when they are not jokes and not funny, he will laugh so hard that anyone would think he just heard the funniest thing ever. It can be just something ordinary, like, I went to the shop and was looking for this one thing and could not find it BUHAHAHHAHAAAAAA.... and then I proceeded to the counter and they had it right there BUHAHAHHAAAAAAAA I am annoyed to death by this. This is constant. All day long. He also has tendency to crack a joke every single time I am trying to have any conversation at all. Then I find myself often interrupted when trying to communicate and not be listened to at all. I find myself increasingly frustrated. I think that what takes the trophy is when he cracked the joke in the middle of me showing him the place where my father died and explaining how it happened. I just stopped talking and told him "ok lets go". He was very happy, did not even realize that he interrupted me and what just happened. I used to think that he might be uncomfortable and it is his way of dealing with things. But it is not the case by far... he never felt uncomfortable in his life. Not really. He is just plain obnoxious and inconsiderate. He is a jerk and does not realize it. He is extremely rigid and defensive over everything that I try to draw his attention to. I told him today that I do not feel attracted to him any more. There is nothing manly about him and his personality. He is trying hard to be a pleaser, or goofy, mostly both of those combined. I very rarely saw him chilled out and relaxed, if ever. To live with someone like this is a hell. I sit there with my face completely bored, while he goes on and on laughing by himself and all he gets from me is mhmm. And he does not get the vibes from people at all!! He does not notice that he is the only one in the company of people, when someone says something, even remotely interesting, to react with his head up in the air laughiiiiing out loud at every other thing someone says. Other people by the table might just barely stretch their lips, or not even that much as it is nothing really funny. He does not care. He thinks that it shows how great time you are having if you are laughing like that (i have no idea what he thinks, if he thinks at all, just guessing). He has ADHD. I am starting to think he has a dose of mania or hypomania too. No depression though. I like him much more when he just gets serious and acts like adult for a second...or just shuts up. Those are the precious moments. I often cannot stand his obnoxious behaviour so much that I catch myself not even looking at him for days, just turning my head away from him and avoiding him... and he does not get it even when told. He will calm down for an hour or two and continue like nobody ever said anything. If I say something he often takes offence. He says he is just being himself. But himself sucks. He is making it hard to breathe around him. He does not see it as a problem, and indeed for him it might not be, but he is killing anyone who has to spend 24/7 with him. That is what ADHD people do to people around them. His stepmom and stepsister also hate this about him. Years ago, I used to give s*** to my friend when he told me he hates the way his gf laughs and that she gets on his nerves. But now I get it. It is not that he hated her happiness. Far from. It was just plain annoying. I paid attention and she talks like this " and then hehehhee I went to this place hehehehe and there was this poster for the movie hehehehe... Horrible to be around all the time. Now I know. Just wanted to vent and perhaps see if anyone had similar experience.
FeelingFireworks Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I'm sorry about this. Never experienced it myself. the fact you mentioned adhd was interesting and drew me to this link: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudobulbar_affect Scroll down and they mention known links with other medical conditions, including adhd. That's not to assume a diagnosis or to take the article at face value but it does make you think. Even then, question is how to deal? Can you address it with him that it's a legitimate concern? Perhaps suggest checking with a professional if it's a disorder/linked to his adhd in his case? or even find a support group online for advice from people who understand? Just worth giving a thought.
Wewon Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I often cannot stand his obnoxious behaviour so much that I catch myself not even looking at him for days, just turning my head away from him and avoiding him... and he does not get it even when told. He will calm down for an hour or two and continue like nobody ever said anything. If I say something he often takes offence. He says he is just being himself. But himself sucks. He is making it hard to breathe around him. He does not see it as a problem, and indeed for him it might not be, but he is killing anyone who has to spend 24/7 with him. That is what ADHD people do to people around them. His stepmom and stepsister also hate this about him. You sound like you really can't stand him very much. You sound frustrated and like you're at your wits end. I think that you know what you have to do, a relationship shouldn't solicit this kind of hostility. 1
Truth34 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I know a few people at work that seem to have a nervous sentence-ending laugh that drives me up the wall also. They don't come across QUITE this bad though. Little things can really pester me so I completely understand what you're talking about. And I think you know this is something that you just can't live with.
Shanex Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 At least hes a happy man. No seriously it would bug me too. The way you discribe it its almost a handicap. He cant go out unnoticed if hes so loud. I dont know the solution, not being a doc... What can help him...?
WomenWubber Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I've never been in a relationship with someone whose guts I hate. Not sure why you're still with him. Why don't you read him, word by word, your post about him and see if he laughs at it too? 3
ExpatInItaly Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 You clearly don't like this guy. Just end it. 2
joseb Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 OP, how long have you been together? It sounds like you hate him basically. Are you planning on keeping up the relationship?
lollipopspot Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 How long have you been with this person, and when did you start to see this trait in this light?
Samhain Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 No never ever experienced that, might have something to do with the fact if someone irritated me to the point I viewed them as obnoxious, I'd be long gone ..
Empyrea Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 The worst way to spend your life is being stuck in a relationship with someone that annoys the will to live out of you... If you can't chuck it up to hormones or time of month, then it's time to reconsider this relationship.
Redfisher Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Not a very funny situation for sure...Sorry I could not help myself:p
veggirl Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 How in the hell did get to living with a guy you clearly don't even like? WTF???? Like why did the relationship even progress when you are sooooo annoyed by him??
Glitters Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Why are you with him? I dont think any answer would justify tolerating this
EricaH329 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I may be totally wrong in saying this (obviously not a doctor), but have you considered that maybe he has Aspergers? The only reason I say this, is because (from what i've gathered from your post) he is socially awkward - can't pick up on social hints, doesn't know when it's time to be serious, becomes defensive when you try to discuss how he is inconsiderate. I dated a guy with Aspergers before, and while he didn't laugh constantly - he didn't know what was appropriate to say in most situations. He also didn't realize he was doing/saying anything wrong. Regardless of whether or not he has Aspergers, the two of you definitely don't seem compatible. To be honest, I wouldn't be able to deal with that either. Laughing constantly is one thing, but becoming inconsiderate when you are trying to be serious (showing him where your father died, for example) is a completely different ballgame.
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